While I was on the bus today, a little boy came up and asked me why I was crying. When I told him it was because I was scared, he told me not to worry because he would protect me. He then sat there with me for fifteen minutes, holding my hand all the way until his stop came along. The whole way, he chattered about the most random things; his school, his best friend, and how he was excited to get home to his new video game. For absolutely no reason, this moment filled me with overwhelming emotion. This kid, who doesn’t know me whatsoever, was showing me the most care and concern than I have experienced in months. How does that make any sense? He doesn’t even know me or what I’ve been going through and he shows me more love and sympathy than those who say they “love” me.
I guess this is the reason that I left. I was sick of being treated like I was worthless. For all the words that felt like whips upon my back and chains restricting my soul. If that didn’t make me feel small enough, the physical beatings really finished it off. I tried to be perfect. I tried to do everything just right to keep them away but I could never quite amount to what was expected of me. I guess I just couldn’t live in that kind of environment. I was sick of being looked down upon and being observed as a person who did everything imaginable wrong. If I accidently spoke in the wrong kind of tone? A slap across the face for being rude. If I was a little bit later getting home than I said I would? I would be yelled at for being an ignorant, selfish, self absorbed being, followed by a punch or two in the gut. I tried to put up with it. Believe me, I really did. After a while in a situation like that, you begin to lose yourself. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I used to be such a confident person; so sure of myself and my capabilities. Now, I just feel vulnerable and useless.
Do you see what you’ve done to me? You have ruined me. You have destroyed the person who I used to be. You have eliminated any sense of trust that I have towards anyone. The world is a horrible place to me now. Are you satisfied with yourself? Does this make you happy? The fact that you’ve destroyed someone’s everything? I have a feeling that as you read this, you’re feeling some sort of sick pleasure at what you’ve done to me. I can’t imagine how, but I’m sure you’ll find a way. There’s some kind of evil monster lurking inside of you that grimly smiles with this news. I wish things were different. I really did, and still, to this day, love you. I just finally realized that I deserve better than this. I don’t deserve this kind of treatment from you or for anyone. I know that I can do better than this. I will be able to build myself up again and move on from what you have done from me, no matter how hard it will be. Please don’t try tracking me down again. You need to realize that this is the best for both of us. I don’t know what I’ve done to make you choose me to do this to, but I won’t let it happen anymore. I hope things turn out well for you and you figure out all your problems. Goodbye for good, Billy.
Sincerely,
Veronica

As Billy read this for what seemed like the millionth time, he finished the last swig of his bottle of tequila. His thoughts had become a blur to him as he tried to focus on her written words once more. He could barely even understand his own words rambling on in his head.

“But… I cared about her and I really cared a lot and sometimes I got mad but I really cared and I would hold her hand on a bus except for maybe if she was being stupid again and I would have to let her know that she was doing something wrong but after that we’d be okay. I love her a lot… And… I loved her and we were very happy together and she said she loved me every day except for sometimes when her mouth hurt so bad that she couldn’t talk but I always said I saw sorry. It was her fault anyways because she always did things wrong and I cared about her but how could I love someone who always did stupid things? I had to teach her a lesson and it’s okay because she’ll come back because I love her and it will be okay.”

With this final thought swimming around in his brain, he smiled his twisted smile and felt pleased that he had solved the problem at hand. She would be back tomorrow to make him his normal breakfast and everything would be right on track again.

“Tomorrow night, she will be right here again in my arms and she’ll tell me how much she loves me again and I’ll be able to smile again and then I’ll be happy with myself again and everything will go right back to normal and I’ll be a better husband and she’ll be a good wife and everyone will be jealous and if she doesn’t come back in a week then I’ll track her down and she’ll be sorry that she left me and I’ll remind her to never leave again and…”

As he had these thoughts in mind, he drifted off into sleep with his twisted smile plastered on his face.