“I’m kinda together with her now.”
The tiny letters on my phone screen stared back at me. They seemed to get brighter as my lungs grew tighter. I’m. With. Her. Those three words, three little words, raced through my mind over and over.
How could he? How dare he?
True, we weren’t in a real relationship. I honestly didn’t even like him like him. We were only together to ease our sexual frustration, as my friends put it when they were trying to be funny. The only thing he had going for him was his gorgeous face with those beautiful eyes and perfect smile. Those eyes and smile that were now for some other girl.
Some other girl who said those awful things to me. Who called me names I didn’t deserve. Who judged me before she knew me. Who knew what we did together.
But does she know how he kept pressing me to do something I didn’t want to? Keeping him at bay was hard enough when I was sober. When I was tipsy, though, it was a battle between hormones and morals. I thought really hard and finally made a decision. A decision that changed everything.
Does she know what a liar he is? I took a chance, a risk and look where it got me. He’s gone and so is my innocence. It’s something I’m never going to get back. Something I will look back on and feel regret and anger and disappointment. And that’s not fair. I deserve better. When I asked him if we went further—would we stop seeing each other, would he leave? His answer echoes in my head:
“Of course not. I’m not a jerk.”
Does she know what an jerk he is?