Her knees get redder with every movement. Her cry gets louder. She doesn’t stop crawling. I watch her go through so much pain, but I’m too frustrated to help. She hates it when mommy isn’t here to save her from the carpet burn. My eyes start to water, but quickly stop when I hear two people stumble in the back door. I grab Alexa and run up the stairs to Athena’s bedroom. I quietly shut and lock the door. I plug in Alexa’s pacifier; it calms her down a little. She sniffles. I gently wake up Athena, I tell her to be quiet. She doesn’t question. She knows what to do from all the other times. Down stairs I hear yelling, and I know it’s our parents again. I try to hold in my tears, but when I hear our mom scream, “No!” my tears begin to flow. I tell Athena our secret knock that nobody else knows. I run to my room, and grab a backpack; I throw in my piggy bank, cell phone and iPod. I run to Alexa’s, room grab on change of clothes for all of us, her piggy bank, and throw all of it into the bag. I peek my head around the corner. I hear my step father coming up the stairs. I run back to the bedroom. Double knock on top, triple knock on bottom. No answer, I smell the liquor on him and start to panic. I try again but still no answer.

The last thing I remember after waking up at the bottom of the stairs was his red face, his big eyes, the smell of Vodka on his breath, his yellow teeth, the spit flying out of his mouth like raging birds, and his strong, thick, bloody hands reaching for my neck. I’m too young to fight back, but old enough to know that this isn’t how real families work. He squeezes my neck harder, every time his own child cries. I look up the stairs and see Athena and Alexa sobbing. “I’m sorry. She just wants mommy. She won’t stop crying” Athena apologizes while crying and rocking the baby. The last thing I remember before falling into unconsciousness is Athena screaming “I’m sorry” uncontrollably. When I come to after what felt like days, only to realize it’s been minutes, I know we have once again been left alone.

Athena comes running down the stairs with Alexa in her arms. “Ally, are you okay?” Athena asks with a shaky voice.

“I’m fine,” I assure her. I leave out that I fell battered and bruised. “Athena do you know where mommy and father are?” I look around the house. As much as I can see from where I lay. “Mother is in her room, and father left.” She said while bouncing the baby. After hearing this, I drag myself off the floor and clean the blood and dirt off my neck and face. I look back into the mirror and stare at my reflection. I gently drag one finger down one of my many bruises, realizing that these are going to be harder to cover than the last. I look at the clock and see it’s already nine o’clock at night. I go down stairs and tell Athena to go to bed. I’ll finish feeding Alexa. When Alexa is down with her applesauce and bottle, I bring her up stairs and put her in her crib. I drag her crib into Athena’s room and read them there favorite bedtime story. They are soon fast asleep. I gently shut the door, and go down stairs. I know tomorrow won’t be the same. I find mom’s purse and grab a few hundred dollars, I go back up stairs to Alexa’s empty room, and hide it in her Dora lamp. I tap on mother’s door, but I only hear snoring. I walk to my room and lay in my bed. The bruises hurt for a little bit but soon I’m sound asleep.

At six in the morning my alarm goes off. I quietly get up and check my mom’s room. It sounds like she’s still sleeping, but I don’t know for sure. I go to check on Athena and Alexa. I get both of them up, Athena gets in the shower, and Alexa is in the bath tub. Both of them finish their breakfast, grab their backpacks, and I finish making their lunches and send them off to the bus stop. I go straight to my mom’s room. The door creaks and, I tiptoe in. I look at the walls that were once pure white but have turned ashy from the cigarettes, her clothes are everywhere, and it smells like Vodka and beer. The carpet is blue but has stains from what, I have no clue, her room was hot, but so was our whole house. I see my mother laying there like a dead body. I go around the bed to see her face. I touch her neck. It’s cold as an ice cube. The smell is unbearable, like rotten food and alcohol. There was no heartbeat. I know it was alcohol poisoning, but this time, I didn’t call for help. I covered her up and lock the door from the inside. I walk out slowly.

The next day, when I got to school, everyone was staring at me like I was the new kid. When I reached my classroom, I saw three officers and my teacher talking. I try to hide my face, but one officer walks over.

“Ally Huckly, may I have a word with you?” he asked me while observing my face with a puzzled look. No words come out. He led me into the hall ay. It’s empty and quiet. “The police know what has been going on,” he said “We just need your side of the story.” He pulled out his not pad and pen.

I shutter but finally yell “my step-father abused me, my two sisters and my mother.” I break down in tears. I can feel my knees giving out. The officer was writing all of this down. I didn’t like the awkward silence, so I looked up and down the hall, noticing all the dirt stains that I have never noticed before. “Why are you asking me this now, why couldn’t you have helped my mother?” I screamed at him, my face was turning red and if began to get harder to talk. I stared at him, and he just ignored everything I said. I stood there and thought about not helping my mother. “What’s going to happen to me, I killed my mother?” I say and realize that I don’t have a mom, and I was her murder. “Well, nothing. It was self defense.” He said with a serious look on his face. I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. “You can go back to your normal life, it’s finally over.” He said, you could see the corners of his mouth turn up just a little. After that day, I learned how to actually be a normal teenager. My nightmares got shorter and my laughing got longer and louder. I made friends. I was invited to parties. It was my life and I was in control.