When she screams, I scream. When she looks, I look. It’s terrible. Some people use the phase, “joined at the hip” if only they knew what it meant. Every time someone says that I want to punch them, mind you, then there would be a lot more people going round with black eyes.

I hate her right now, she’s so annoying, can’t she just stop talking. I tell her to “shut up” she replies “make me.” AHHHHHH!

I don’t talk much, I barely talk at all, I hide my feelings and let my twin do the talking, she knows how to do it. And yet- I have so so much to say, important stuff, I want to write books and do all sorts of stuff but I can’t. I never will. I bet I would be more confident if it wasn’t for Rachael. But then I remind myself that it wasn’t Rachael’s fault; all the same, she is so much more confident than me, it’s like she doesn’t mind being attached to her twin sister. I know she does though, I know she cry’s at night, I know everything about her. I know when she’s on her period, I know when she doesn’t like somebody (or does), I know when she hates her food or when she’s sick, I know when she’s un-comfy or sleepy. We share thoughts and feelings, we share everything. There’s nothing we don’t know about each other, and there’s nothing we can keep private. If I think something, a second later my twin will be thinking the same thing. And we are never more than two centimetres away from each other.

Why? Because we’re Siamese twins. We’re joined in the skull, brain, hips and elbow. The doctors can’t separate us because that would mean chopping our over-sized brain in half. I wish they would though. I wish that they could end our life. Once I whispered to Rachael “maybe we should commit suicide, I heard her thoughts pop into my head. Of course she already knew what I was thinking, she can hear everything I’m thinking now, but I can’t stop thinking it. She replied to me aloud “No.” Of course I already knew that.

I’m so sick of being stuck to her. I can never escape. People talk to us as if we’re one, but we’re not, we are two separate individuals. Shantell and Rachael are two different people.











***
I can hear everything Shantell is thinking, she hates me. I’m loud-mouthed and annoying, nobody could ever love me. I don’t want to talk so much, always crack jokes, I’m not like that, I have an inner bit that nobody can see, not even Shantell. I unlike her can keep some thoughts away from her. She can’t, I used to think she could, but I know she can’t. Of course I’ve never told her this. Deep inside me, I can be sensitive and kind and loving. I can think sentimentally and write it too. I’m not as clever as Shantell though. She’s a complete Nerd. Forever reading, of course if she reads, the words she hears in her head project into mine. If we read at the same time it all becomes a jumble… Anyway, as I was saying- Shantell can do so many things it’s amazing. I wish I was like her. I’m so jealous. She admires me, I can’t think why. I’m silly and stupid and say the first thing that pops into my mouth. I wish I wouldn’t, but I’m to scared to display that delicate side of me that hides deep inside my heart. I sometimes wonder if it will ever come out...










***
Being a mum of Siamese twins is hard enough without the continual doctor’s appointments and calls. I pick up the phone. “Mrs Montai speaking.” “Hello Ma’am this is Professor Green from the hospital, I have very good news concerning your twins…” My heart leaps and does a back flip. “Yes?” I encourage hastily, “Surgeons in Russia, have found a way to separate your daughters without killing either one.” I jump up and down, unable to utter a word and continuing to listen rapturously to the professors words. “However- it will cost 100, 000 Russian Roubles.” My heart sank and I dropped the phone. How was I to explain this to my girls?

A year later.
Rachael beamed and so did I, the cake was supreme and the festivity infectious. The party was fantastic. We ate burgers and chips with tomato ketchup. Freshly made lemonade washed it down. That weekend, me and Rachael we’re going to be separated- for life. It had taken us a year to do it but we had saved up 100, 000 roubles and were going to fly out to Russia. I can’t imagine being separated from Rachael, but it’s going to happen. And I’m not complaining. In fact I can’t wait…