I thought I was going to be late for school today. I just can’t rush the process of putting my outfit on. I walked into the kitchen and I see my mom serving me a plate full of fluffy yellow eggs and crispy greased bacon with a blueberry waffle. My mom said, “Hey honey, I made you some breakfast.” I tried not to show how I couldn’t stand the sight of food that she made with such love so I replied, “Thanks mom it looks delicious.” I ate it close to the sink. When my mom was occupied I would sneak the food into the garbage disposal little by little until it was gone.

When I arrived at school I met up with all my friends. My best friend Kami would always wait for me by the front door. She would always ask me, “Did you have breakfast today.” I always say, “Yes, it was delicious.” I had to lie to my best friend. I couldn’t tell anyone.

Third period starts and Max offered me some sun chips. They were the sour cream flavor. I told him I was full but he insisted. So I stick my hand in the bag and look for the smallest chip I could find. My friends stared at me.So I took the chip out and struggled to eat it. When I put it into my mouth I had the urge to spit it out. But I couldn’t because my secret would be questioned.

The bell rang and it was time for lunch. I was with Kami and I didn’t want her finding out. We made it to the lunch cart and saw how much food she had so I had to make mine look as full as hers. When we walked back to the lunch table I sat down to start eating my food. I took a few bites of my pizza and a few gulps of my apple juice. I couldn’t take it. I had to excuse myself from the group to go to the restroom. I just couldn’t hold my food down; I tried so hard but failed. When I was done I washed my hand and checked my hair and makeup and then realized a girl was in the restroom too. I panicked because I didn’t know if she knew who I was or what I was doing. I walked out of the restroom with that thought in my head.

The weather was starting to get cold. I love cold weather because I now have an excuse to wear an excessive amount of clothing without peoples asking if I am hot under my sweater. I would always deny even though I would burn through my cloths. At times I really didn’t know what to reply sometimes I had the urge to blast my secreat out but I know I can’t do that because they wiil think I am freak.

One day I came to school, it was awkward to walk in because it felt like everyone was watching me. I tried to ignore it. When I found Kami she had a tear in her eye and then hugged me. I didn’t have any clue of what was going on. I asked her and all she said was, “Why would you do that to yourself?” She would repeatedly ask me that and I still didn’t know why. I asked her again and she told me that she found out that I would vomit my food and never eat. I busted in to tears. I ran, I ran as fast as I could away from the humiliation of my secret. When I reached my home I was wailing and my mother caught me crying and asked me what’s wrong. The secret was out I had nothing to lose, I didn’t want my mother finding out by someone else. I told her how I can’t stand food and how I have the urge to spit it out. She stated crying and said she was sorry for not being there for me and how bad of a parent she was and I told her how it wasn’t her fault and how I caused this problem because I had let it go too far.

My mother put me in rehabilitation. My friend came to visit me often to support me. I learned how my actions could have affected my life. When I finally came out it felt like I was in a new world where I didn’t need to hide anything anymore from anyone. “Now I see the world differently.”