Placing one foot after the other was a task, a coerced action; Iris lowered her eyes to her steps as she exited the shadows of a hidden alley and entered the blinding light of day. The sun reflected off the snow, and crystals collided with the ground, shouldering a cold draft of indifference. With bloodshot eyes, she blinked away snowflakes as they alighted on her lashes. The frigid air reminded Iris of the alternative card to the nightly shame she was dealt, yet she didn’t want to sleep outside, alone tonight. Sprinkles of ice landed in her hair, a stark contrast against dark brown strands, matted and unkempt from the restless night before. As Iris trudged along the bustling street in the common square of town, a dated candy store caught her eye, looking out of place among the industrial-style businesses. A vague image of a mother and father with their young daughter flashed through her mind’s eye. As she peered into the window of her childhood, she was faced with a reflection of the harsh reality of her present. Having wandered into her hometown, it was the first flashback of the past that did not summon a pang of grief, or worse, an apathetic echo. Iris’s early life had been ideal; as an only child, she was doted on by both parents. She had trusted them with every part of her, and that was why she had confessed to them, with no fear of rejection, when she discovered that she was pregnant at the young age of 17.



Yet she had been mistaken. All at once, Iris had transformed from the perfect daughter to a disgrace to her family, and she felt that she had no other option but to pack a few belongings and leave home. Dropping out of high school, she ventured into the unknown, at first accompanied by her boyfriend and father of the soul inside her womb. As the days went by and she began to rely more heavily on him, he weighed the responsibility he was faced with, and turned his back on her. Iris tried everything she could to bring him back, including aborting the child. She couldn’t bear to be left alone in the cold by someone she trusted a second time; yet it was all in vain.



Two years later, here she was: desolate and fading, a muted angel, clinging to the weightlessness of her fingers wrapped around a pipe. The high that drove Iris to sell her dignity by nightfall had escalated into a white, powdery blizzard, sucking out all the vibrance once possessed.



She was an ashen skeleton of the hope that slipped out of her grasp, emptied of unconditional love. Wings had been clipped. In her mind, love was but a green card, used only for the deceit of many to gain the upper hand, and she seemed to always be the misadventured.



Iris, in a sense, was oblivious to the sea of people rushing past her listless and hollowed frame; lethargic thoughts tuned out as the beating of her heart intensified. The few remaining pills she had obtained with the trade of last night’s earnings fell from her frostbitten hand, hitting the dirty snow. A young man sitting on the steps of a nearby store played his guitar softly, and the melancholy strumming grew faint as Iris’s vision faded into darkness.

*


It wasn’t the monotonous beeping, or the ache echoing throughout her vacant torso, but the undeniable presence of warmth wrapped around her frail hands that pulled Iris back into consciousness. Her eyelids were heavy, but the feeling that she was not alone gave her the incentive to resurface. As if the hospital cot she lay in was a sea bed of darkness, her eyes locked with her parents, disheartened countenance etched across their expressions like the wavering face of the moon. The young man that had been playing his guitar when she blacked out was seated in a far corner, murmuring softly in response to a solemn-looking man in a white coat. Her breathing was labored, and Iris made no effort to speak; it was a moment in which only quiet serenity was needed. The lingering pressure of what could have been swelled tearfully, but she knew her only escape was to surrender to the present. A moment before the beeping ceased, heavenly crashes of peace surged over her. Finally she knew that the only true love she ever needed to experience had been fulfilled.