I stand in this line thinking. The noises of screaming kids and carnival rides fill in my ears, making me more nervous. I was waiting for it to be my turn at the ticket booth, at the carnival. My mind was racing, searching for ways to get out of this night. I look around and see all my hockey teammates laughing and jumping around overly excited to begin their night at the Rhode Island State carnival. I for one was not as excited as they were, and gazing up at that Ferris Wheel that seems to reach so far up in the sky, that it touches the clouds. The height was too astounding for me to comprehend, and because I have an extreme fear of heights, my whole night was turning in to a nightmare. I thought back to that time when I was 6 years old, and I was playing in my bedroom with my mother. I was a little too close to the window and being a curious child; I leaned a little too far forward and would have fallen out, if my mom was not there to grab me. Ever since that experience my fear of heights had been un-fixable. Hopefully tonight the Ferris Wheel would be disregarded. The only person that ever knew about this fear, besides my family, was my best friend Chuck. Good thing he was by my side tonight.

“Finally! I’m so excited for this!” shouted one of my teammates, Trevor, “Yay!!” His voice faded off as he ran to the first ride he could find. I was nervously walking in the back of the pack with Chuck and he could tell I was nervous.
“Dude, come on you don’t psych yourself out,” said Chuck.
“I can’t help that I’m afraid of heights, I just don’t think I can overcome it tonight,” I exclaimed, embarrassed.
“I’m sure you’re gonna be fine, but if you’re not, I got your back,” reassured Chuck.
“Thanks bud,” I added. It was true, Chuck did have my back and I know that I wouldn’t have to do anything that I didn’t want to.
We were having a good time, all of us. The fact that we could just run around, from ride to ride and not have to listen to parents or coaches was awesome. We were hyper from the endless amounts of cotton candy and soda intake, but it was all worth it. Nothing crossed my mind about my fear. Chuck was doing his best to distract everybody from the Ferris Wheel whenever it came up. It’s so good to have a friend like him.
We had all calmed down and took a break from all the festivities. It seemed that we had been on every single ride in the whole carnival. I was sipping on my cherry soda, and chewing the saltiest popcorn I’ve ever eaten. Just as I am about to take another sip of my sugary drink, my eyes follow the lights up way up in the sky, colors and colors and all moving in a circle direction slowly, but surely. Suddenly the only thing I can hear is the laughter of kids my age enjoying the Ferris Wheel. It’s killing me that I am afraid of that. I picture myself on the ride, at the highest point, scared to look down, or even let go of the railing, and I see my friends with shocked looks on their face and some with smirks that just scream “you wimp,” and “come on how old are you 4!” Suddenly, a feeling of anger grows in my stomach. Anger at myself, for never having the strength to overcome my fear for so many years. All of the sudden, this feeling overcomes my whole entire body and I suddenly blurt out “Let’s go on the Ferris Wheel.”

Chuck looked at me in awe, and with him being the only one who knew my secret, everybody else was pumped to go on the ride to close out the night. As for me, I couldn’t believe that I was the one that offered that up, but that anger just seemed to control me. Chuck was still looking at me with a questioned look on his face, but I just shrugged then looked back down at my snack. After five minutes of everybody finishing up their snacks and getting all their energy back, we all walked over to the Ferris Wheel. Chuck found me slowly and nervously bringing up the pack. He knew I was nervous and he probably thought that I shouldn’t have said anything and I should’ve just kept my mouth shut, but I’m proud of myself for saying it because it was finally time for me to come over my fear.

The walk seemed longer than any other walk I’ve encountered before. It seemed like it was miles and miles to my death. I was sweating profusely and my legs were shaking. But, of course I had my best friend, Chuck, there to support me and give me a little pep talk.

“You got this, just show your ticket to the nice man, put your head down, don’t trip up the stairs, find a seat, sit in it, close your eyes, then wait for the ride to start moving, so you can’t chicken out and get off.”

“Chuck, that’s possibly the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Thanks,” I uttered back, still nervously shaking

“No problem, and I’ll be right there by your side the whole entire time,” added Chuck

I truly did have the best friend in the world.

After all this discussion, it was finally my turn to show the man my ticket, and well, do everything Chuck told me to. He made sure I went before him so I wouldn’t chicken out. I took a nice big deep breath and I felt very calm, and ready. Before I knew it I was sitting in the ride with Chuck and three of my other friends, and the door shuts. The noise brings back the memories of me almost falling out the window so many years ago, and that vision does not leave my mind the whole way through.

The ride starts, slowly and shaky at the start, this makes me extremely scared. I was being a drama queen, already holding on for dear life, but not trying to make it very obvious, but Chuck definitely knew. I try to keep my head down as it starts getting faster but all I can focus on it the ground moving further and further away from me. The sky becomes really close and at that moment I think to myself, “Don’t look down.”
At that moment, my friends start clowning around, jerking around, shaking and leaning over the railing to try to see other hockey friends in another seat. Of course I am getting extremely nervous that something bad will happen.
“Chuck! Tell them to stop it’s not funny!” I shouted.
“Michael, everything is going to be fine, I promise,” replied Chuck.
“No, it’s dangerous and it’s making me more nervous than I already need to be,” I complained, with anger in my voice.
“I promise you, everything will be fine, they are just having fun, calm down,” exclaimed Chuck.
The rough play continues and my anger builds up again. I shut my eyes and I still have the image of me almost falling to my death, out the window, almost 10 years ago. Thankfully, I had my mom to save my life, if this happened to anybody here, I don’t know if I would be able to save them.

As I am trying to get this image out of my mind, and the moment that my thought trails away, one of my friends pushed themself to far forward. Before I can think of anything else I lunge forward with every strength in my body and grab the back of his sweatshirt, holding as tight as I can, like my mother once did to me, and I used all the rest of my strength to pull him back to safety. Everybody in the seat was breathing heavily, me and my friend the most. Nobody spoke but we all knew what each other was thinking. “That was a close call,” everybody seemed to say. My friend who I had just saved, reached in and gave me a hug, and in that moment I couldn’t believe what I felt. It took the same experience of mine to reoccur, just for me to get over my fear. I had finally gotten over my fear and now I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Chuck looked at me like he knew exactly what I just realized. The hug had ended and everybody took a sigh of relief and then that’s when I got very excited to reach the very top. I looked up at the sky and down at the ground with the biggest smile knowing that once we did reach the top, I wouldn’t be afraid, at all. I laughed slightly and Chuck looked at me and smiled saying, “good job, kid.” I couldn’t believe that I had come over my fear, but more importantly I couldn’t believe that I had let that stop me from doing things growing up. I think to myself that if I wasn’t there my friend could’ve fallen, which is a scary thought. My fear will no longer hold me back anymore, because the just like the circle shape of the wheel, my past had come to a full circle.