One Day Alone

A cool breeze ate away at my exposed arms as I leaned against the damp brick wall. I felt a ray of confidence shine down upon me and warm my body nearly instantly. Finally I would have the chance to leave behind the reputation I had developed for myself behind me. I wasn’t a bad guy, and I finally had the chance to show the world that. I knew high school could be different.

The bus driver took her sweet time arriving, so when the other two students at my stop arrived, I had plenty of time to begin to weave the new me into existence.

The other two were two girls, sisters who looked nothing alike in any way. The first was about my height; her hair fell past her shoulders and covered the top of her clothes. Behind her thick, brown locks, her jacket read Led Zeppelin and her tee shirt beneath read Nirvana. Her deep blue eyes stunned me more and more the longer I stared; I was drawn into a trance. I was awoken by her voice as she introduced herself as Maria. Her sister radiated a completely different aura. Maria was bubbly and excited, and her sister was quite with snide comments used to simply break her silence. Her hair was much longer than Maria’s, but had no curls. She was blonde and she didn’t look like she’d showered that morning. Her shirt featured the trade mark Blink 182 smile and her purse had a Led Zeppelin patch ironed on. She introduced herself as Sarah.

They were both perfect, but the best part, they actually wanted to be friends with me. I don’t remember anything from that conversation except for the fact that I was happy. Back then, happy was a rare occasion for someone like me. The bus arrived after being half an hour late and the three of us climbed up the pointlessly steep stairs and made our way to the back of the entirely empty bus. I sat and scooted towards the window. Sarah began to sit down next to me, but Maria grabbed her and pulled her back up. They started to argue over who sat with me. They both wanted to sit next to me. They were fighting over me. I couldn’t hear a word they said over the roaring sound of my self-esteem boost. Too bad it wouldn’t last long.

As we neared the building I grew nervous. I was worried about who I already knew and what they would think of me. I tried my hardest to cast the thoughts aside, but the stress was getting to high. My anxiety grew and grew and eventually a small panic attack ensued my body. My breath was pushed out of me and I had to fight to get it to return. Luckily no one noticed. We arrived at Reynolds high school without anyone noticing how truly weird I was.

By the time the bus pulled into the parking lot there were about twenty kids filling the seats. Maria and I were the only ones talking however. Everyone else, including Sarah, were listening to music. We stepped off and landed on the concrete for the first time. We walked up the path to the tunnel that led to the school for the first time. We saw the graffiti for the first time. It was simply a breathtaking sight. There was so much street culture squeezed onto such a small campus. Maria seemed at home, but I stumbled awkwardly as I followed her around. I was already feeling my old reputation slipping through the cracks of its coffin and dripping back into my life.

Since our bus was so late we missed the first few minutes of first period and had to rush off to find our classes, not such an easy task for two freshmen. We both went our separate ways and I eventually found my class. I handed the teacher my late bus pass and tried to get to my seat without drawing too much attention to myself. I was already getting a lot of rude looks and it was the first day of school. I crossed my arms and tried to disappear into my jacket.

Class went by relatively fast, but still took too long. It was way too early in the year to be watching the clock, but I was so oh well. Second period went by just as slow. I felt the presence of eyes on me coming from all around the room, most likely I was just being paranoid, but then again, I might have been right.

Sarah was in my third period, but for some reason she pretty much ignored me. I said hi and she nodded and continued on to the back of the room where her assigned seat was. Yet again I tried my hardest to sink into my seat and disappear. My confidence had already been crushed. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this year anymore. I wasn’t even sure what to expect from this school anymore. The only faces I recognized among the crowds were the ones from middle school which I was trying to escape by going to an arts school such as Reynolds.

Finally lunch rolled around. I sat down and saw Maria in the distance and Sarah a few tables over. Sarah was alone and Maria was with one of the many crowds I was trying to avoid. I sat with Sarah. My hands actually shook a bit as I tossed my backpack down next to her and across from her. “Hi,” I muttered quietly.

“Sup,” She replied. She was the type to talk like she was in the eighties. “Well I guess since we have no one else to sit with we might as well sit together.” I felt my heart break a tiny bit when I realized she was just using me so she didn’t look socially awkward.

“Yeah, I guess so.” I felt a small frown creep across my lips, but she was too enthralled by the grapes in front of her. The rest of lunch was spent together, but yet still alone.

Just like lunch, the rest of the day flashed by. Once fourth period was over and the bell rang I was on my way back to my seat on the bus. The day had been a total flop. I wasted all that time and didn’t learn anything or make any new name for myself. By the end of the day, even Maria didn’t sit with me on the ride back. I stared out the window and watched the other buses fill up as ours left. I looked at my reflection and realized that I didn’t fit in with the rest of the school at all. I looked down and started laughing. I didn’t fit in because I was different from them. I was me. They don’t like people like me, so I stopped caring what they thought. I didn’t like them back, so why did it matter? Somehow, after all that stress of the first day, I still managed to feel better about myself without actually making a new reputation or changing the way I acted.

I had a feeling this school year was going to be a good one.