I knew he was trouble from the start. He was always so rebellious and had a clear wild side. But, I wasn’t aware of the side of him that I was going to see. I am Carli and this is my story.

I really don’t know what attracted me to Jake in the beginning. Now that I think about it, he was a little nicer when we first met. He would compliment me here and there and would act like he cared about my problems. Jake would sit there and let me talk all about it but now I know he was never actually listening. He was always a little rude to me, yelling at me for the silliest reasons.

Jake and I have been dating for eight long months now. I am getting ready to go over to his house now. I turn to go down the stairs to the first floor. I feel anxious when I hangout with him. You never know if it’ll be a bunch of fighting or a good time, Jake will always surprise you. I’ve also been feeling confused, not sure about where we are going with our relationship; lately, it hasn’t been up. Jake gets angry and shouts about little things. I talk about Matt; anotherr guy I’ve worked with in class, and that will upset him. Coming a few minutes late or missing a call will also make him angry so you never know which side of Jake you will get.

The ride to his house takes about ten minutes, enough to listen to a few Taylor Swift songs on the way. Riding through the city in the winter is a little chaotic but with Jake not having a car, going to his apartment is a must. I arrive on time, one less reason for him to get upset. I walk up and click the button for the elevator hoping it comes quick. The elevator is old and shaky but distracts me from the nerves of being with Jake.
I walk speedily down the hallway to his apartment, not wanting to be late. I knocked on his door and waited for Jake to answer.
“It took you long enough.” Jake says sternly.
“The roads were icy from the snow.” I replied, trying to stay calm.
“Then leave earlier.”
“I tried.”
“Whatever.”

Jake goes to sit on the couch; I followed behind. I sit down next to him, hoping this “visit” will go well, but as of now, that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. We sit there in silence for a few minutes. Apparently, Jake isn’t in the mood to talk. Trying to avoid the awkwardness, I get up to go to the bathroom.

When I return, Jake looks annoyed and angry.
“Why was he texting you?” He questions sternly.
“It was about homework, it was nothing.” I answered.
“He could have asked someone else.” Jake requests.
“It’s no big deal Jake. We’re just friends.”
“Yeah, that’s always how it starts. Doesn’t he know you’re dating somebody?”
“Yes.”
“Then he has some guts texting you.”

I just don’t say anything, not wanting to fight again. The rest of the time, we barely talk. I finally stood up and said I had homework to get done. Jake doesn’t even stand up to say bye to me.

On my way home, I stopped at my friend Abigail’s house. She always knows how to take my mind off of things. Abigail’s parents make her live on campus because they think it’s safer and cheaper.

Too impatient to wait for the elevator, I take the stairs up to her dorm. Knowing Abigail’s roommate isn’t in the dorm; I walk right in.
“I need your help.” I say as I walk in.
“What now?” Abigail says in an annoyed tone because I interrupt her “study time”.
“I don’t know what to do about Jake. Nothing is the same anymore. All we do is fight and we barely talk and he doesn’t even say good-bye to me when I leave. He doesn’t care about me anymore.” I complained
“We have this conversation every week. And I tell you the same thing. This is up to you. You’ve tried so many times to work things out and it never seems to change.”’ Abigail lectures.
“I know, I know. I just worry that he will change back to how he was when we first met.” I confess
“Honestly, it doesn’t seem to be getting any better and you never seem happy anymore. I think you guys are done.” Abigail muttered quietly. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” And I stormed out.
I got in my car and drove back to my apartment. The slippery roads keep my mind off the situation. When I get home, I take a shower and go straight to bed.
I wake up to more snow. I get dressed and ready for my classes for the day. I start my Mondays with Matt this morning. I walk in and sit next to him like always.
“Hi, Carli!” Matt says with a smile.
“Good morning!”
I sit down and take out my laptop. Matt hands me a coffee from my favorite coffee shop.
“Here, I had a gift card and was feeling nice.”
I chuckle at his silly gesture.

After class, Matt and I always get something to eat. With Abigail on a different schedule and Jake working during the day, Matt and I have become good friends. The dining hall has horrible food so we go off campus for lunch.
“You still fighting with Jake?” Matt asks
“Yeah…I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”
“Why not? It’s not like I’m going to tell him.”
“Well, last night, we kind of fought about you…” I admit.
“Why me?”
“Because you texted me.” I began, “I tried to explain that we’re just friends and it was about our project but he doesn’t understand and people are telling me I should just break up with him and I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do at this point. Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear my stupid, girl drama.”
“It’s fine. You gotta let it out to someone.” Matt says

We finish eating and I get up to leave. Matt wishes me luck even though I know he wasn’t paying attention when I said everything about Jake but at least I got to say some things I usually don’t have the guts to tell people.

A week passed and everyday Jake and I talked, we fought, the smaller the issue…the louder the yelling. You would think it was one of those “there’s a bigger problem you’re avoiding” situations, but it isn’t. We just don’t get along anymore. He never calls me and even when we are together, talking just turns to fighting.

I think about what would happen if we did break up. Would he realize how crazy he’s been and start acting like the Jake I fell in love with? Or would we never speak again? I realize that Abigail was right and I am happier when I’m not with Jake. I know I should apologize for storming out of her room and asking for the truth when I really didn’t want to hear it. I knew Abigail was right; I just didn’t want to admit it. I decided to call her before I went crazy thinking about it.
“Hello?” Abigail says like she doesn’t know it’s me.
“I’m so sorry. You were right. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you. All I’ve done the past week is think about what you said and I think it’s the right thing to do and...”
“Carli. Stop rambling. It’s not a big deal. And did you really think I was mad? Abigail says interrupting me.
“I don’t know, maybe a little. But you were right. We should break up. I’m just afraid of being alone and what if he changes?”
“Calm down. One thing at a time.” She instructs.
“Okay. I am going to break up with him I just don’t know how I’d do it. I’m afraid that when I do, it’ll just turn out to be nothing but yelling at each otherr.” I explain to her.
“I say you text him now asking if you can come over and talk about things.” She suggests.
“Okay, thanks, Abigail.” And I hang up.
I go to type the message but my mind goes blank. How am I supposed to tell him I want to talk without giving it away as to what I want to talk about? I type, “Can we talk?” Erase. “Are you free?” Erase. My mind is spinning with what I should say. Finally, I type, “When you’re done with work, can I come over so we can talk?” and hit send before I can talk myself out of it. He calls me almost instantly.
“What the hell is this about?” he says before I even say hi.
“I just want to talk.” I reply
“About what?” he asks sternly
“I want to talk in person.” I
“Be here at 5 or we wont talk.” And he’s done talking.

I leave my apartment early, not wanting to be late. I ride up the old, screechy elevator to the fourth floor. I walk over to his door and check my phone. 4:56. I guess I’ll wait a few minutes. Suddenly, he opens the door.
“Hurry up. I don’t have all day.” He complains as if I’m an hour late.
I walk in, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.
“Look, all we do is fight, we don’t even act like we’re dating anymore and you clearly don’t care anymore. So I’m done with us. ” I mumble, looking down to avoid eye contact.
“What did you say?” Jake says, stepping forward with anger.
Still looking down, I reply, “I know you heard me.”
I wait to hear what he has to say. But shockingly, he doesn’t use words…he uses actions. He hits me… across the face. A stinging pain shoots to my cheek. He hits me again. This time, it’s a punch to the eye. I’m shocked. I don’t know what to do. I turn around and run out the door. I can’t stay in the same room as that monster. Blood is rushing down my face like water. I get in my car and speed away. Millions of thoughts are rushing through my head. I can’t keep anything straight. I somehow make it back to my apartment and run up the stairs.
I don’t tell anyone about this day. I keep it a secret knowing what the consequences could be.

It’s been five months since the last day I saw Jake. It was the last day I heard of him. This gives me a little relief because of what happened that day. I still haven’t told anyone. Not even Abigail.
Abigail has been a great help with trying to get over this “situation” as she calls it. Though she doesn’t know what really happened, she’s done the best she can to make things better. Abigail thinks the final step to getting over it is going on a date with someone else. She has openly said that she knows I won’t do it by myself. Abigail has decided to set me up on a blind date, which doesn’t thrill me. With the only guy I actually talk to being Matt, a blind date scares me. She won’t tell me anything about the guy I am meeting. Abigail says he knows nothing about me. The only information she will give us is the location that we will meet and what we’re wearing. She tells me this guy is wearing a light blue polo.
I slowly walk to the coffee shop Abigail and I always go to. Assuming this guy will be late just like Jake always was. I turn the corner that the shop is on. I take a deep breath. This is the same place I met Jake, but Abigail thinks it will help even more. I open the door to the shop. I search for a guy in a light blue polo. The only one is Matt. He stands up with a slight smirk on his face as he pulls out a chair from the table he was sitting at.