The room went silent; the only sound I could hear was the dripping of the tears. At that moment my mind started to race through all the memories I had with my Grandpa. My Grandpa passed away this past summer on June 11th, 2012. I had never lost somebody so close to me before. I realized after his passing, all of his jokes and advice was gone forever. I will not be able to take him for rides in his new black Chevy truck, or walk up to his house to ask him how to fix the front end on the John Deere 4020. Grandpa did everything I asked him to and took care of his family. Sometimes I wonder though, did I do everything Grandpa asked me to do? I had a lot of good times with my grandpa, although I feel like I took some of those wonderful times we had for granted.
About seven years ago I became intrigued with Major League Baseball. My favorite team was the Chicago Cubs, Grandpa loved them as well. Every time the Cubs played, I could always count on grandpa watching them. On those days the phone would ring and Grandpa would say, “Can Philip come watch the game today?” My dad would usually let me go while my brothers stayed back to work on the farm. I enjoyed spending that time with my Grandpa. I would always be so happy when I went back home because the excitement of the game pumped me up. My Grandpa and I would get into the game by screaming at the TV, and giving each other high fives. I always ran over to him to give him a high five and he would always say, “Go Cubbies”! I would sit on their old floral couch, while Grandpa sat in his faded light blue recliner. During every commercial he would mute the TV, and we would talk about the players and their stats. I would always talk louder than normal so Grandpa could hear me, but I didn’t mind. As I got older, dad would want me to stay home and work instead of going to visit Grandpa as the Cubs played. I figured I could just go watch another game with him when we weren’t so busy on the farm. I wish I could go back and watch every single game with him, and never miss out on all those stories he told me about his life when he was younger. Whenever I hear my Grandma mention the Cubs, I always feel depressed because Grandpa and I would have a great time watching them together. Not only do I just miss the stories he had, but also all the advice and guidance he gave me throughout the years.

Grandpa had a heart attack on December 21st, 1986. My Grandma was scared and all of their children thought their father’s life was over. Even though he recovered from his heart attack he still had to slow down and not work as hard. Grandpa then had both of his knees replaced, and also underwent back surgery. Therefore he spent a lot of time in his chair watching TV and reading the newspaper so he was hardly ever outside to work. Two years ago in July, our John Deere 4020 had a major break down. The front end fell off the tractor and fixing the problem would take some time. My brothers and I always tried to get Grandpa out of the house as much as possible; this was the perfect opportunity. We weren’t quite sure how to fix the tractor and we needed Grandpa’s help. I called Grandpa and asked him if he would come help and he said, “I would love to come help my grandsons for the afternoon.” My brother Robert brought him down in the truck so Grandpa could show us how to correctly put the front end on. I brought his work stool over for him to sit down on. Then I brought over a fan and plugged it in so he wouldn’t feel too hot. The air was very humid and the heat index was at an all-time high that afternoon. After three hours of sweating, hard work, and some of Grandpa’s experience with repairing the tractor; we were able to have the John Deere 4020 back up and running. Thinking back now, did I really appreciate how Grandpa came down on that extremely hot day to help? Did I understand that maybe someday he might not be here? I can honestly say it didn’t even cross my mind at the time. I took my Grandpa’s advice, companionship, and stories for granted.
Grandpa bought a new truck two years ago and I also received my driver’s license around that same time. His knee surgery made it unlikely for him to drive his truck, so he would ask me to drive him around. He loved seeing the scenery, and driving around with no destination in mind. I would also take Grandpa to machinery sales because we both loved to look at the equipment, which would put a smile on his face. He enjoyed seeing the old combines because combining was his favorite farm activity to do. While driving around he would tell me stories about the Korean War and what he did while he was in the service.
His favorite story to share with me was when he drove the radio jeep up in the mountains of Korea. Talking about this story made him feel important and excited; I could see it in his eyes. They would light up like he was in the jeep again. Grandpa would always tell me how he was fortunate he was not on the front line because he wanted to make it back home to his sweetheart. He knew he had less of a chance of getting killed while driving the jeep because he did not see the action where the men were getting killed. Listening to his stories was sometimes boring because he would tell the same stories more than once. I would just say, “Grandpa, you told me that already.” I look back at those stories today thinking about what I would say about them, and I feel I was disrespectful with my responses. I failed to appreciate the value of my Grandpa’s knowledge and stories which were important to him.
I will never forget all the heartfelt memories I had with my Grandpa, although I feel I took some of those wonderful times for granted. I did not realize how important my time was with him, and what my life would be like without him. I look back today and I wish I was able to change what I did, and what I had said or not said to him. Losing my Grandpa was one of the most difficult things I have encountered in my life, and thinking I might have been disrespectful to him and didn’t cherish every moment like I should have done, makes it so much harder. After gathering around in the living room at my grandparent’s house and seeing my Grandfather die, I realized how precious time is. I realized I need to be more respectful to the ones I love, and to the people who mean so much to me.