“Skinny Love”


Everyone tells me that everything happens for a reason, that God has a plan for all of us; my response, if He has a plan then why the hell can’t he give me a map? As the frustration fumes inside me like a monster stretching after a long slumber, I watch him from across the room.

Noah’s dirty blonde hair falls into his glacier blue eyes, and even from across the cafeteria, he stuns me. My heart thuds in my chest and my hands get clammy at the very thought of him. My dreams of our conversations flood into my mind, but the stabbing fear of never living them out, hits me like a blow to the gut.

He looks up from his textbook and our eyes meet, sending a chill down my spine and a flush of color up my cheeks. Hastily turning my head away from him, I pretend to examine the words on the page in front of me through the tears blurring my vision, because we’ll never be together. We’ll never be the cute couple sending all my friends into jealous frenzies. We won’t hold hands, and he won’t walk me to class. That would all be too good to be true; a fairytale amidst my chaotic life.

Breathing fiery breaths, the monster inside me reminds me of the unforgivable shyness that haunts me every day. I pass him in the halls and yearn to say something, anything, but I choke up, and the rearing monster of shyness holds his ground over me. The only escape I hold is in my dreams. My dreams of carefree afternoons in the sun, his soft hand grasping mine, enchant me into easy happiness, but as dawn breaks, so do my hopes and dreams of a pure, simple love.

Glancing back at him, the words waiting to be said fill my head, and my tears once again threaten to break free. Sliding off my seat and heading to an empty hallway, I try to push back the pain taking over my heart. I try not to imagine his voice whispering my name, and I force back the memories of the past, the happy times together.

The tears streaking down my cheeks taste of salt and regret, and I slide onto the cold, gray floor, my knees too weak to support me. Curling into a ball and disguising my face with my hands, I let the sobs escape.

“Mia?” the voice of an angel calls out. Lowering my hands, I look up into the smiling face of Noah, my heart swelling with unbreakable love. Taking his extended hand, I smile to myself. His hands are just as soft as I dreamed they would be.