Well, the day had finally come. Kevin and I were on our way to meet his girlfriend Debby. For the past month, all that he’s talked about was how great and wonderful Debby was. Kevin has been my best friend since third grade, but I’ve never seen him as happy as he is now. Of course, I was very unsure of what I’m going to think of her. After all, they have only been going out for a month, and Kevin is totally obsessed with her, he made that clear on the car ride there.

“I’m telling you man, she’s perfect” said Kevin. “Why can’t other girls be like Debby? You know? I look around our school and I see nothing but stuck up, slutty, big headed girls that look like they’re better than everybody! Trust me; this world would be much better if more girls were like Deb.”
“You bet bro.” I responded. I’ve been listening to Kevin talk nothing about Debby for the past month, that’s all I could really say to him.
“You’re going to love her man, I promise! I mean, how can anyone not like her right?”
“I hear ya’ man.”

As we pulled up in front of Debby’s house, I didn’t know what I could say about it. If it wasn’t for the mailbox out front, I could have sworn it was a garage. I’ve never seen a house so small, and that wasn’t the most shocking part. The entire front lawn looked as though it hadn’t been mowed in months. Protruding from the untamed grass was a series of lawn ornaments. There were three lawn gnomes, a plastic flamingo, and a wooden cut-out of Santa Claus. The Santa cut-out seemed strangest because it was the mild of April.

We walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. A semi-elderly old woman smoking a cigarette answered the door, and looked less than happy to see us. She was wearing an oversized flannel shirt, with only a bra on underneath it. The pair of jeans she was wearing was full of holes, exposing her extremely bony legs.
“Oh hey, it’s you again.” she said to Kevin. She then began to point her trembling finger in my direction. The slight pause before she spoke told me that she wasn’t all there in the head. “So who’s your buddy here?”
“This is my friend Andrew.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said to greet her. All she did to respond was take a long drag from her cigarette as she gave me a sour stare.
“Well you two might as well come in.” she said to break the silence.

We proceeded into the house, and were welcomed by an extremely heavy fog of cigarette smoke. The fumes filled the entire living room on our right. I noticed a shaggy haired Yorkshire terrier was sleeping on the couch. When the woman shut the door, the dog woke up and started to bark unmercifully.
“You know where to find Debby!” shouted the woman over the barking. She then took out a small container of Skoal from her pocket, and sprinkled some into the dog’s food bowl. As the yorkie stopped barking and consumed tobacco, I couldn’t help but stare in amazement. The woman looked up at me with a grin, exposing her yellow teeth. “Keeps him quiet every time!”