As life goes on, I’ve been able to realize how each event in this path has influenced, what am, who a I’m and who I want to be based on my actual idealities. It´s true that the route to my actuality has been like a roller coaster, having constant ups and downs but pretty much always having a fun time and laughing about those loops that makes me dizzy. It’s now the right moment, to express my feelings and to describe a certain memory I have that had a big impact in my life even if it doesn’t sound that shocking or amusing. I believe, it’s important to always see things from different perspective in order to break the boundaries our mind has created depending on one’s lifestyle.
Few years, ago when I was thirteen I started to see the world different, I was maturing in a way that I could understand each person’s points of view even the craziest ones, and I was starting to learn how to appreciate the things I could see in a different way, and the lessons that I learned from the most unexpected situations. During this period of time, one of the most important persons that had entered to my life flew out without a simply goodbye. Her name was Bertha. Bertha had seen me grow, she was my nanny since I was 8 months old and had been my company through good times and bad times throughout this 13 years. She knew everything about me, could measure my mood, felt what I felt, learned what I learned, and lived for what I lived. It’s kind of egocentric to think that she was part of me, but Bertha wasn’t a complement to my life I felt it was the stability to it.
I knew she loved me, she said it every time. Bertha even slept with me when I was scared and made me relaxing massages each and every night for me to sleep like newborn. She was a beautiful, strong and admiring woman that played the role of a family member almost like my mother.
I was used to her presence, to her anxiety, to her weak emotions but constant shouts of intense laugh that made everyone smile. I knew everything about her, or well, I thought I knew everything about her, until that summer day. It was a typical sunny day, when I woke up, Bertha gave me exquisite breakfast and I then went to my friend’s house to spend some time, but we never know when our thoughts can change, or when an emotional breakdown can enter, it seems that it’s just a matter of few seconds.
When I came back, once I entered my house I felt the absence of happiness, the need of charisma, my house was lonely Bertha wasn’t there I knew it since my mother had opened the door. She didn’t even say hi just a simply “Honey, Bertha left and it’s for real this time.” I instantly ran to her bedroom and saw nothing in it. No close, no bags, just the couch and a pillow that was waiting for a new maid to come.
I was in shock, i couldn’t believe she had just left and I didn’t even understand why. The instant I knew Bertha wasn’t coming back I cried as if someone had taken part of my heart, I know I was being dramatic but Bertha was more than just my nanny. When I was able to calm down I asked my mother why she had left, what had caused her to leave the house in such hurry and never coming back.
My mother said “Emma, Berthas mother in Choco is dying, she was diagnosticated spread cancer 6 months ago, and according to the specialists she will die during this next weeks.” “What? Why didn’t I knew about this? Weren’t you able to just tell me? I responded with anger. “I thought you knew about it, Bertha is so near to you so I supposed you had heard about her familiar situations”. Apparently I hadn’t, and that was when I felt even worse.

Bertha was my second mother, my best friend, the best nanny, an excellent maid and an overwhelming company. She knew every issue in my life, both familiar and social. She worried all day long If I was okay and was always making an effort to transmit me happiness in the hardest times. However all the support she gave me wasn’t turned back when she needed my company. Berthas family lived in Choco, she is the oldest of 5 sisters who had to pass through the loss of the one who gave them birth and without her their economic and personal stability was ruined. Bertha felt the need of fight for her family and raise their sisters with the beautiful values she possess.

You may ask why I felt so bad when Bertha left. Yes it’s true, I missed or still miss her presence, and still what hurt me the most was that during the 13 years she was with me, I received from her the biggest support even with superficial issues. However when her mother was dying and her life was about to completely change I didn’t even knew about it, since I was always concentrating on my personal issues rather than hers or other members of my family and social nucleus. Bertha never told me about since she knew I would worry, but I now believe that maybe she could’ve felt stronger if I could’ve had the opportunity to talk with her when she needed to, or calming her when she was worried or sad like she had done for an amount of years every day.

Today, I consider myself as a girl who is constantly worrying about other people’s feelings and trying to help them when company is vital. I prefer seeing everyone smiling living their lives without worrying even though I’m aware that harsh pains do not go away overnight and take time to heal. I think my experience with Bertha few years ago made me realize that people around me should be even more important than me, and putting on other peoples shoes is the best way to mature and enrich moral values.