This is going to sound really awkward, but I don't think I really care because I want you to hear me out.

In 70 years, I will be sitting in some kind of state of the art high technology rocking chair, and you will be the person I will think about when I think back to now.

When I was twelve, I believed that love was exactly what everyone wants it to be like. But in the end you end up with reality, and you just accept that fact that everything that we thought love to be is nothing but a fairy tale. It didn't take me very long to give up on fairy tales. But you are so much different.

You would never think about me in the way I think about you, because I do all the stuff you promised yourself you would never do.

You might not remember that day in the eighth grade when I called her Jenna-fish, but you told me something that I will never forget. Maybe it wasn't just what you said; but the way you said it, maybe the tone in your voice, or your facial expression. But that day you looked me in the eye and said “I have never called her that, and I never will”

Or that time in choir last year when I was called to the nurse and you yelled my initials, and it made me feel accepted in some way. One time Mrs. Anderson said you were ‘a man of morals’ and you are exactly that.

The thing is, is that you would never take a sip of alcohol; never smoke a blunt or even a cigarette. You won’t even pierce your ears or even get a tattoo, and the funny thing is is that it doesn't make you a p****. It only makes you a man; And I envy you for that.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever got that text i sent you on Thursday, January 17th 2013, somewhere around 5. The one about me being scared of my father; Because the next day, you talked to me, and you sat so close to me and told me how much you loved my earring, and thinking of ‘The Breakfast Club’, I offered to give it to you. After you went to class I wondered if you had come talked to me because you felt sorry, or if you just wanted to talk to me. I looked like s*** that day, but you didn't care. You probably didn't even notice that we were sitting so close to each other that our knees were touching.

Sometime I look at the cuts and scars on my legs and think of you; Of how you don't belong in my world, and how you would never have to deal with all the s**t that happens here. To you, you might not understand. You're like the really Nice Soc. and I’m a greaser. You’re like Cherry, and I’m Ponyboy.

Everyday, when I turn that corner before fifth hour, the first thing I see is you, standing there in the doorway of Mr. Smelter’s room, with that big smile on your face, thinking about the fact that no matter how much we don’t belong together, I will always admire you because you are my fairy tale. But I promised myself that I would never love you. You’re a dream, and I’m reality, and when you mix that together, it doesn't last, and someone always ends up getting hurt; And I don't want anyone to get hurt. Whether its me or you, because I could never deal with the guilt. So I admire it and accept the fact that a guy like you just isn't in the cards for me. We don’t deserve each other, and that's ok.

Someday, You get exactly what you deserve. She will have the most beautiful eyes, and little skinny legs. She will have long beautiful hair and baby soft skin. You will love her so much, and cherish her; And she will never know how lucky she is to have a guy like you.

Terrell, If you're reading this; Promise me two things. That you will never fall in love with me, but you will also never forget the girl who will always love you more than she ever will.