Unforgiveable

“Do you think she’s cheating on me?” Phil asked Robert one morning while driving back to the precinct after a night shift.

“No, probably not, she might be sick or on her period or something.” Phil sipped his coffee slowly attempting to process what his partner was telling him.

“But it’s not just in the bedroom Robert, anytime I get remotely affectionate she brushes me off like it’s nothing, and then when I try to talk to her about it she says she’s too tired, and had a bad day at the office.”

“I think you’re paranoid Phil, Melissa loves you. Maybe she really was having a bad day.”

“I don’t know, it’s been going on for a month and a half now.”

“Then have her followed one day, to put yourself at ease.”

“I’m not too sure, Rob that might not be a good idea.” They pulled into the parking lot of Precinct 251, Boston, Massachusetts finest police force. Phil’s precinct had won the award at the Police Banquet five years in a row. They went to collect their belongings and change from their worn, dirty uniforms.

“Then quit belly-aching about it Phil,” Rob stopped to face Phil’s look of devastation, in fact Phil’s whole body wreaked of desperation, “but hey, if you change your mind, I could give Johnson over in forensics a call, he’s good at digging up dirt.” The thought made Phil feel very uneasy, what if Melissa found out? She’d surely leave him if she knew he even thought about it. But the idea of her in another man’s arms made his heart race and anger pump through his veins.

“Remember Phil, just give me a call if you want Johnson for the job. I’ll see you later.” Rob said as he got into his car and drove off. As Phil drove home, he imagined his wife sitting in a small town diner in Minnesota where he first met her eleven years ago, her golden blonde hair trailing down her back almost past her waist. Phil was amazed by it; he watched her as she drank coffee while reading Robert Frost poetry. He passed her slowly noticing her glistening green eyes; Phil sat down at the table opposite of Melissa. Before he could even look at the menu their eyes met. She smiled a magnificent white smile to him right away, but Phil was shy, so he only gave her a small grin. It must have been sufficient because before he knew it she was up and moved over to his table.

“Hi, I’m Melissa.”
The sound of the garage door opening snapped Phil out of his daydream. Did I hit anything? Phil thought to himself, coming off a twelve-hour shift was always the hardest, he was always so exhausted, and he barely remembered how he made it home. As soon as Phil got inside he immediately fell on the couch; too tired to even remove his shoes, he dozed off into a deep sleep.

Ding-a-ling! Ding-a-ling! Phil’s eyes opened abruptly and he shot up off the couch, still groggy he realized the phone was ringing. He crossed the living room to the kitchen almost in a run to get it.

“Hello?” Phil answered rubbing his eyes.

“Phil? It’s me, I’m going to be a little late, so just order a pizza from Jack’s or something. I’ll eat when I get in,” Melissa seemed short and out of breath.

“Is everything okay? Do you think you’ll be home by 8?”

“Probably, but no promises, I’m fine we’re just swamped and they need me.”

“Okay honey, I love you. See you later.”

“See ya soon Phil.” The phone clicked and she was gone. Phil felt like he had just lost a part of his heart and he wasn’t sure if he’d get it back. It was about four o’clock when Phil got done talking to Melissa; he stood puzzled for a moment thinking of Melissa, not saying I love you, laughing and giggling with another man. He grabbed the phone and called Robert.

“Hello?”

“Call Johnson.”

“Phil? Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, I want her followed tomorrow.”

“Okay I’ll call Johnson, you sound pretty wound up, why don’t we go get a drink tonight at Joe’s joint across the river?”

“Well Melissa’s working late so we might as well!”

“That’s the spirit! I’ll pick you up at 6.”

“No, I’ll just come get you, I want to drive to give myself time to think, see ya at 6.”

“Great! Bye Phil!” Phil cleaned the house and jumped in the shower before he left to pick up Robert. Joe’s Joint was a new Italian place across the river Melissa mentioned trying one at a time, but money was tight and Phil never liked going out of his way for something so minute.

“This is good,” Robert said while getting into Phil’s car, “trying new things is always good.” Phil just nodded, he was trying to concentrate on other things, but all he could think of was Melissa.

“So how are Karen and the kids?” Phil asked making a meager attempt to be social.

“Oh, they’re just fine, Caleb is enjoying karate, he’s a black belt already, can you believe it? And Becky she just loves to paint. She won 1st place in her school’s art competition…”
What a perfect family, and Robert’s perfect kids and loving wife, Phil thought to himself becoming angry and full of jealousy. He started to ignore everything Robert was saying, gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white, he began to obsess over his problems comparing it to Robert’s perfect existence.

“…and Karen, she’s doing great, she was just promoted to news anchor--,” Robert continued on.

“Well isn’t that f*ing great? You and your perfect family are just so great,” Phil had snapped as he pulled into the parking lot of Joe’s joint almost hitting a family.

“What the hell man! Watch where you’re going!” Robert’s plea startled Phil, bringing him back to reality and releasing him from his rage.

“Whoa! Man I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. This whole thing with Melissa just has gotten me so crazy lately. Jesus, I almost drove us into a river in the middle of February, I’m losing it.”

“It’s okay dude, you just need to relax, let loose. We’ll drink and have a good time.” As they entered the establishment, they were greeted by the loud music coming from the juke box. Phil couldn’t fully make out the song that was lost under the thunder of the crowd but it sounded like Tom Petty. Melissa wouldn’t like it here, she likes quiet, intimate places, Phil thought. Phil and Robert made their way over to the bar and ordered three rounds of Caribbean rum shots and a few beers.

“Woo!” Phil said after downing his last shot, “We need some more of this! I haven’t had this much fun in a long time!”

“Sounds good to me!” Robert waved over the bartender, “Sir! We need two more beers, and keep them coming!” The night started to become a blur until after laughing for hours and falling off his bar stool, Phil heard a familiar song start on the jukebox. It was The Allman Brothers’ “Melissa”. The song was unmistakable; Phil sang it to Melissa when he asked her to marry him. Then he heard a woman scream to the dark haired man who put the song on.

“Change it! I don’t want to think of him tonight!” The voice, like the song, was unmistakable. It was his wife Melissa, he looked for a face to match the voice and sure enough he turned his head and saw a golden haired woman running into the arms of the dark haired man to kiss him. Phil never blinked as he watched the hands of his neighbor Bill run down the back of his sweet Melissa. Robert was grabbing at his shirt and trying to stop him but Phil was in a trance. He crossed the bar and grabbed Melissa; he dragged her outside leaving Bill in the hands of Robert. Tears were streaming down both of their faces by the time they reached the far end of the parking lot away from all the commotion.

“How could you do this to me!?” He cried, Phil let the anger fill him up and he had no intention of calming down. He stumbled past the last row of cars off toward the woods as Melissa chased after him.

“Phil I’m sorry! We’ve just grown so far apart and you don’t even care anymore!” Melissa yelled. Phil had led her to the edge of the river in the woods by this point; he couldn’t believe what she was saying to him. How dare she? He always loved and cherished her. He always gave her the world.

“You stupid b****! How could you? I love you! I tried to talk to you! Tried to give you affection! And this—this is what you do to me? Does our marriage mean nothing to you? How long have you been whoring around?!” Phil could feel his blood pressure rising, he was so infuriated, but somehow the screaming made him feel alive. And he liked it.

“I hate you!” Melissa was crying harder now, “I hate you, you’re a monster!” No, I’m a good husband, you’re a bad wife, he thought.

Suddenly his hands extended out to her in full force and she was spiraling to a world unknown. Her arms reaching out for him, but Phil didn’t budge. Her golden strands he once loved so much, now shot toward him like Medusa’s snakes as she propelled down. Melissa screeched like a banshee in the night, pleading, “Please! No! Help me! Phil!”
Then, more faintly as her body crashed into the icy water, “I’m sorry”. Her eyes never left his, Melissa slowly sank into the river. Her echoes faded into the night until the pitiful whispers were lost amongst the trees. Phil’s once angry, tight-lipped expression was replaced by a quiet sob. He fell to the ground wrapping his arms around himself, clamping his mouth shut to keep from screaming her name. All he managed to let out of his mouth through his frostbitten fingers was,

“Goodbye Melissa”.