The First But Not The Last

It was as if someone took a hammer and smashed my heart into a million pieces, all scattered and splayed everywhere. You knew it was coming but that doesn’t ease your pain. The words flow out so easily “I think it’s better for both of us if we don’t see each other anymore.” You wonder to yourself better for whom? You think how selfish he is! The sounds of silence and the dramatic beating of you’re once complete heart fill your ears. That lump in your throat starts to build as you choke back those inevitable sobs. The pressure on your eyes trying not to bawl is unbearable but you hold it all in just for those last few moments you have to state your case.
Then, just when you think the pain is finally leaving, the memories come flooding in.
Like that one time we stayed in on the couch, which held barely enough room for one but we made it work. When you tickled me to the point where I was suffocated with laughter. When your texts were the only ones I cared about, the ones that meant the most. When you were the only person who could bring a smile to my face. When you were the first person I ran to with any story whether good or bad you were the first I called, the person I trusted. When I thought that our bond couldn’t be broken, that our relationship would be ongoing even though senior year.
All of that…gone just because YOU wanted it to be.