“This will be a good thing,” Caroline promised herself as she turned her car key to the left and the rumbling engine went silent. She waited there in the parking lot a few moments longer, staring at the sign in front of her. The Dance Academy, in big bold letters glared back at her. Lined with bright twinkling lights, it screamed “Broadway” and their reflection off of the letters seemed to hold hope for a brighter future. It seemed silly to hold such an emotional attachment to a sign, but it was the first thing she ever saw of the studio, and was a permanent memory attached to it. For so long the sign had welcomed her, but she had not been to the studio in forever it seemed, and she wondered what it could possibly hold for her after all of this time.
Slowly, she parted with her car and started to make her way towards the studio doors. As she grasped the door handle and tugged it open, she was suddenly overwhelmed with memories from her distant childhood. She remembered so vividly the first time she walked into the dance studio. The barre was such a perfect line running down the wall. The floor was scuffed and marked with hundreds of shoe marks. Each one was different in how it looked and how it got there. Mirrors covered the walls, and sent her astonished reflection back to herself at four different angles. Every time the music began, the entire room was filled with an energy that sent shivers down her spine. She had been so excited that first day she walked in, yet she did not even know how big of a part of her life dance would become. She had no idea that she would start to spend her time there, week after week, working so hard every day to improve just a little bit more. She did not know at that moment that she would have every picture and quote on the walls permanently memorized. Every dent in the floor and the smell of a new pair of ballet shoes would forever remain a part of this memory.
All of this rushed over her as she stood in the lobby, frozen as she did not know what to do next. It had taken her so long just to work up the courage to come back to the studio after all of the time that she had been gone. But now that she was here, she did not know what to do. She slowly began to inch forward into the waiting area, eyes scanning the room for a familiar face. The faces of strangers stared back at her with wondering eyes, curious to who she was. Her breaths became shorter and shorter and just as she felt a cold sweat coming on, she heard a familiar,
“Ohhhh Carrrrrroliiiiiiiinnnnneeee!” Her lips released a smile and her clenched muscles relaxed as her old ballet teacher, Claudia, scurried over to where she was. Even at 54 years old, she was still buzzing around the studio as if both of her hips were still brand new. Covered in a rainbow assortment of scarves and necklaces to match a chunky sweater, her curly blonde hair bounced behind her wherever she went. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you my dear! How marvelous and thin you look! And when did you chop that beautiful brunette hair of yours? It is so short now! But that dress you’re wearing is fabulous, just fabulous! How is your family? Is there a special someone in your life? How have you been?” Claudia pummeled her with questions, for she had always been like a mother to Caroline.
“Well, things have definitely been different, that’s for sure,” replied Caroline cautiously. She had always been more reserved than she wanted to be, and the last few years had not made that any better.
“I’m positive that your wonderful soul is painting the skies with your brilliance in whatever you are doing my dear! Come now and sit with me, we must catch up!” exclaimed Claudia. Caroline giggled to herself as she remembered the silly but extravagant metaphors her old teacher used; they were always good for at least a smile.
For the next 3 hours, Caroline sat with her old teacher catching up on life, the studio, and the dance world, of course. All the while, she had a certain feeling that she couldn’t quite place. The dance classrooms called to her like an old friend you only get to see once a year, or when you forget how much fun you have with someone until you hang out with them again. She had grown up with her sisters here, dancing day after day in front of the mirror that covered the entire wall. When she was in front of that mirror, there was nothing that she could hide, she was just herself, nothing more and nothing less. All of a sudden, Caroline needed to be in front of one of those mirrors again. Within a minute, she was in an empty room, staring back at her own, sad reflection, plastered there on the wall. She realized that until today, she had not fully understood how much she yearned to be able to dance again, and decided that that was the reason she hadn’t come back for so many years. With all of this realization suddenly coming upon her, tears began to well in her eyes. Claudia rushed into the room after her,
“What’s the matter my darling? My perfume too strong today?” Claudia questioned.
“No, it’s not you, it’s me. I thought after I was mobile I would be able to come back here and visit, but it’s just too hard. I have so many good memories here.” Caroline choked between her sobs.
“Oh honey, oh my dear, you are so wonderful and beautiful inside and out that you don’t need these old studio mirrors to tell you that! Did you know that a butterfly cannot see its own wings? That means that it can’t even know its own beauty, and how sad is that? Oh sugar if only you could see that you don’t need to dance to be extraordinary and to surge your positive energy into the hearts of others, you do that by just rolling into the room!”
“You’re right Claudia, I need to start doing things for myself, that I have the ability to do, and that make me happy. Hanging back around here isn’t going to help the situation.”
“Precisely, baby girl! I always knew you had a good noggin’ on those shoulders of yours!” With those words, Caroline took a deep breath, stretched out her thin arms and slowly grasped her callused hands around the tough wheels built onto her chair. She began to turn the wheels slowly as to push herself towards her parking spot, so prominently outlined in blue. With her brown mousy hair whipping her in the face, and petite figure shivering in the wind that had picked up, she thought about how she would never again “run out to her car real quick”. As she struggled to open the heavy care door, she watched the blue sticker dangling from her rearview mirror, knowing it was forever fixed there. Even with all of this though, she knew in her heart that no physical impairments could ever fade her love of dance, would never fade. It would only make it grow stronger as it reminded her everyday of just how precious life was and all the abilities that people were given. Her path just happen to change, as now she would get the opportunity to discover all that she could be outside of that old ballet room.