My father once told me that life is like an hourglass, we don’t notice it’s almost finished until time is running out. I was only five when my father first mentioned the beauty of an hourglass, but I remember each word vividly. Each word carried its own meaning upon which my father proud, as though he had rehearsed numerous times. He would always tell a story about a man who had gone through his entire life without enjoying the moment. His mind was always trapped in the past, or lost in the future. This is how the man lived his life for decades; never attempting to change his lifestyle in any way. It was not until the man reached an elderly age that he had realized the time he wasted. It was not until the end that he realized his time was almost over. His inspirational wisdom touched me deeply; however, I never knew the true meaning behind his words until his death years later. He had given me a sealed note with my name perfectly sketched on the envelope; making me promise to not open it until I felt I needed his words the most. My father’s death had given me the necessary requirements to do so; thus, I proceeded to open up the note. What I found on the inside touched me deeply, and made me reconsider the future I had planned for myself.. All that stood were four words, “The man was me.” These words filled my head with the will and desire to avoid the situation my father had endured his entire life. Yet, knowing the truth and experiencing the truth are two separate things.

Although I tried to live by my father’s words from the beginning, I had some trouble during my college years. Going off on my own was exciting and allowed me to become independent in nearly every aspect. I had chosen a small university in the state of New York where I could pursue my dream of changing the world so that others could avoid the same fate as my father. Entering the business field seemed to fit the job well and so I began my studies immediately following my graduation from high school. If I became a necessary internal function of the world, then everyone would listen to my words. Unfortunately for me, although it seemed fortunate at the time, I met a beautiful passionate girl not long after arriving. Her words seemed to numb my body with every passing motion and sound. She became part of my life, part of my hourglass. The memories and moments we made are fresh in my mind, as though they are relived every night in my dreams. This girl made me forget everything I had seen before as she lead me to a new world of imagination and happiness; but, as the saying goes, even good things must come to an end eventually. As quickly as she had entered my world she left, off with another man who would most assuredly be lured in the same way. I had allowed her to become the glimmering star in my future, and now there was nothing but a dying fire to light the way. Depression soon kicked in and enveloped my life completely. I shut myself off from the outside world until no one remained by my side. One by one, friends began to distance themselves from my life. I was a walking time bomb who managed to hurt every caring person I knew; my life was in shambles. However, I managed to maintain my studies efficiently, as they provided an escape from the outside world, and graduated with some pride left. At graduation my mother brought me a small, simple gift. After I had carefully unwrapped the present, all that remained was a miniature hourglass. “It was your father’s,” she stated softly, “he would have wanted you to have it.” My body became weightless as words attempted to crawl their way up my throat, but none were successful. I simply cracked a slight smile towards my mother and hugged her before she had the chance to decode my smile. On the inside though, the situation was quite different from the false emotions I had managed to put on display.

Shortly after graduating, I found myself being offered a standard job at a company with quite the reputation in the business world. Their name was Vortex Pinnacle, but I had little knowledge of their affairs when I first began at my newly appointed position. I knew working my way up from the bottom would be hard, but it was the only way I knew how to carry on the will of my father. So I began to work, and work, and work. This was my new life, my new hourglass, and I was determined to not fail this time. It was a chance for me to start anew; a chance for me to turn the hourglass over before it finished. I strived for success, ignoring those who sought to take up my time with their lively activities. There was simply no time for others when I needed to prove myself to those who reigned above me. Although it was tough, 30 years later I was crowned the CEO position after putting forth thousands of hours into my work. It was beautiful being on top, the dedication I had shown was rewarded in the best way possible and I now had a title and office to show for it. Yet, something was missing. Being one step closer to achieving my dreams was not nearly as exciting as it once seemed. It’s almost as though it was expected in nearly every way and guaranteed to happen. Regardless of these feelings, I found life at the top less rewarding with each passing day. What seemed like reality at one point became a dream; while my dreams became reality. I couldn't achieve the one goal I truly felt was guaranteed during my lifetime. There was no button I could press to change the world in an instant, only meetings dedicated towards profit and strategy in the market world. No one ever spoke of their personal lives outside of the corporate building, as though there was a muzzle preventing them from doing so. For hours upon hours I would stare from my top level office as the cars and people continued their busy lives under my watch; unaware of the other judging eyes that find themselves looking down upon the rest of the city. When I found myself bored with those walking the streets, I would turn my attention to the scattered papers upon my desk. It contained the bare essentials of any CEO; a name plate, a clock, and an endless supply of pens. To my surprise, I had managed to carry my father’s hourglass with me wherever I went until it met its resting place on my desk. It reminded me of all that I had worked for, yet it was meaningless in the grand scheme of things. The hourglass couldn't help me spread this new idea my father had conjured, nor could it help me to realize a path upon which I could follow. It’s cold stare reminded me of the life I had lived until the day I decided to retire from my position as CEO. I saw my hourglass running out and knew it was time for me to head in a direction, a direction that would satisfy my own personal needs. In an instant, I had chosen to give up nearly 30 years of work for a simple change of heart. Yet, I thought nothing of it in the moment.

I now find myself sitting here writing to whoever it may concern as I stare at the draining hourglass resting mockingly on my desk. It taunts me ever so slightly as the sand filters to the bottom with each grain fighting and pushing its way through the small passage hoping to not be the last. Its carefully shaped wood and glass prevent any grains from escaping the impending vortex. Time has had little effect on the hourglass; still looking as pristine as the day it was given to me. My father’s words ring in my head over and over as I attempt to search for any hidden meanings I may have missed. Any meaning that would tell me I've lived the life my father would have been proud of. Yet, all I can imagine are his four dying words. I can feel death approaching me quickly, as it readies to end yet another tragic life. Death does not care what kind of life I have lived, nor the things I may or may not have accomplished during my lifetime. This lack of discrimination is soothing, yet frightening. With every additional grain that reaches the bottom of the hourglass, death moves a step closer. My fear of death grips my body and turns me cold as my soul seeps out onto the desk towards the hourglass. I find myself noticing the last few grains as they finally trickle to the bottom; ending the life of the hourglass. As my body gets ready for a long slumber, I prepare to seal this note with my last bit of energy; only to realize one simple thought I have tried to hide away my entire life. The man was me.