Rrrrrring! Rrrrrrrring! I dashed into my seat just in the nick of time. I looked across from me to my best friend Monica, but she wasn’t there. But why? She hasn’t missed school in years. I decide to think on it.
“Pop quiz!” Mrs. Emmin yells cheerily. “I want all of you to write whatever pops into your mind. You have 30 minutes!”
‘What in the heck!’ I think. ‘I am in kindergarden for goodness sakes. This is what they do in ten hundred eighty­thousand million trillion grade! What in the world does she expect us to write about?’
“Sarah,” Mrs. Emmin asks, “would you mind passing out the lined paper?”
“Uh­huh,” I answer, ecstatic at being given a real live job. Maybe I could earn a star sticker! I pass out the papers, sit down. And then it occurs to me . . . what exactly I could write about . . . . . .Yes . . . exactly. Why not?
‘The Things That Happen To The People Who Aren’t There,’ I title my paper. 'There,’ I think, grinning satisfactorily. ‘That should do it.’
The boy looked up as the bell rang, and noticed that his friend wasn’t there . ‘What in the heck? Oh, dear,’ he wondered. Why wasn’t the friend there? Dang. Maybe she was sick, or went on vacation. She could have been in Bora Bora, or Finland. Maybe she went on an expedition the Madagascar, and was, at this very moment, slicing through trees, dressed in a jungle-explorer hat. She could be on the North Pole, for all the little boy knew. Or
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maybe . . . She was walking the streets of Manhattan, when the dashing criminal Al Capone,
who came back from the dead, swooped up behind her and handcuffed his hands to hers. Then, he rushed over to the Empire State Building and galloped up all of the stairs and onto the roof. And then - ‘Then what?’ I think. ‘Oh!’’ Cinderella flew down on her pony who was made of rainbows and butterflies and liked to eat grass and had a pretty - ‘Um, a pretty . . . A pretty hoof! A blue one.’ a pretty blue hoof and climbed trees and also liked to eat sunshine and lived on the moon! ‘Yeah,’ I thought. ‘The moon.’ And then - ‘Um, um um’ - the little girl was very - ‘Um.’ - very very very not happy because - ‘Um.’ - she wanted to live on the moon and so she said - ‘Um, she said . . .’ - she said that the pony should take her
to the moon and Cinderella should clear out! ‘Yeah.’ And then the pony was very not happy and threw the little girl onto the street - ‘and, um,’ - then the little girl was runned overed by a truck like the one my daddy has and then she was very extremely not happy and sad because her head hurted and her belly hurted and she screamed that she was gonna throw chunks! And there was a lady in a car next to the little girl and the lady said ew gross and was very - ‘Um, um . . . Blechy! Very blechy!’ - very extremely blechy and very not happy and she called the police and then honked her horn and said oh dear and what in the heck and then drove to the mall to buy a pair of shorts that were very on sale and so she would be
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more happy. And so the police came and arrested the little girl and made her very even more not happy and so she asked how much more minutes before she got out of the slammer and Mr. Police Man said two thousand hundred years! And the girl was mad and so she called her daddy who was superman and he broke her out of jail and the police were very not happy and said oh dear and dand darn and arrested Donkey Kong and made him slap superman. Then the little girl rolled down a hill and into a ditch and was all muddy and then her mommy came and said oh dear you must take a bath in tomatoes to get that horrible smell off of your body and the little girl was not happy and so she called her fairy god mother who was Cinderella’s fairy god mother and was very not happy and so she wished to go to the ball in a jackolantern instead of a pumkin because pumkins are much boring. Then on the way to the ball in a blue-green dress with purple sparkles and twenty billion million pounds of make-up on the little girl fell out of the carage and her lipstick spilled on a mouse and the mouse said what in the heck now I am very many dirty and I must take a bath and I am angry with you little girl! And then the little girl smacked him upside the head and yelled I’ll rip that little smirk off your face! And then the mouse said that someday he would help her and the little girl fainted and rolled into the Pacific Ocean! Then a shark ate her and then barfed her out because she tickled his throat. Then swan up onto an island and then took a raft to chicago and fell into a river with pink sand
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and got knocked out because her head hit a rock and then she rolled onto the beach . The boy was thirsty and went to get a drink when he noticed his friend by her
locker.
She rolled from the beach all the way back to school.
“Times up!” Mrs. Emmin announced. I put my pen down and handed her my paper so that she could grade it. Anxiously hoping that I had pleased her, I left for lunch.
***
The next day, I again sat down as soon as the bell rang. My friend, the one who wasn’t here yesterday, leaned over and whispered in my ear, “You won’t believe what happened to me yesterday.”
“Do you mean the reason you weren’t there?” I asked inquisitively. “I fell off of the Empire State Building!” I was blown away. “And I saw Cinderella!” I couldn’t believe that I was right! “Did you fall into a river?” “How did you know?!” “I guessed,” I answered, smiling mischieviously. “And I wrote a poem about it!”
My daY off
by Me Monika Doni
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On my day off I went to new yoRK And I was very not happy because a big man in a black and white outyfit came and grabed my hand a pulled my up to a jumbo-nourmously humungously big building and then I fell off and a truck went over me and made me even more very not happy and very very muchly not happy and then my daddy beat him up and while I was on the bigly huge building I met cinderella on a pony with rainbows and that made me happy and then very not happy and then I was in a bigly ginornous river and then I hit my head and it hurted and i was very muchly not happy and sad. Then I did some other cool stuff and then I roled bakk heir and was very muchly glad and then i wrote this poem muchly goodly. And i wanteds to share it with my bestest friend Sarah because she will like it very muchly goodly. I hope you like my poem person! I hope it is very muchly good!
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