My parents try to help me. These feelings won't go away. People say I need help. I need help. I need help! I think to myself, “You have no idea what I've been through!” I need to find someone...maybe I do need help.
“Okay kids! Ready to go!?” dad asked us as he rushed around the house.
“Yeah, whatever,” said C.J.
“Sure!” Matt said happily.
“Hold on! Two seconds!” I yelled as I was finishing up my hair.
“Hurry up Kelsey!” dad yelled. “We want to have time for everything!”
“Okay! Okay! Sheesh!” Sometimes I think dad wishes I was a guy. Mom was already in the car during the whole “Waiting for me” thing. I hurried up to ask her something before the guys got in the car, “Does dad ever yell at you for taking long when getting ready?”
“Yeah... Of course he does.”
“Oh... Guys are weird!” I laughed.
“Haha! Yeah, they are. And they always will be,” said mom.
Dad got in the car and huffed.
“Are you a bear or something?” asked mom.
“No.. I'm just mad that you girls always take forever!”
“Yeah, well when it comes to football season, you never want to get off the freakin' couch!” I added.
“Whatever,” said dad. “Can we just stop this and go to the amusement park already?”
“Yes! Please!” I said.
Matt and C.J. jumped in the car. C.J. was always a grumpy jerk and he never talked to anyone! But Matt, he is the best brother in the world! He's always nice to me and never pushes me around or anything.
“Hi Matt. Do you think we'll have fun today?”
“Well of course! Didn't you hear about the new roller coaster they got?”
“No,” I said.
“It's called The Ride!” Matt said excitedly.
“Awesome! Does it go upside-down?”
“Yep!”
“Cool! I'm sure we will have lots of fun!”
“Yeah,” said Matt.
We all sat in silence for the rest of the ride. The only thing you could hear was music C.J. was listening to because it was too loud. I thought of all the rides we would ride and all the games we would play. I loved to play the enormous claw game. Last year, I won a giant stuffed Pikachu. I then thought about years ago when Matt and I used to play Pokemon games.
I could tell that we were there because I could see the ferris wheel and the tops of the roller coasters behind the trees. I looked to the left, out of my window. I saw a field with clumps of garbage that most likely came from the park.
Matt interrupted my thoughts and shouted, “Look! Up in the sky!”
I turned my head and looked up to see giant cartoon character balloons. There was Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Spongebob, Patrick, Pikachu, Snoopie, Charlie Brown and Dumbo.
My dad parked the car where a guy told him to. We all got out and started walking towards the fun. We walked past Bricker's Fries. I heard the sizzling of the frier frying the fries. I smelled grease and vinegar. It all made me want some, but I decided I'd ask for them later since we'd be getting on roller coasters. I wouldn't want to throw-up on someone.
C.J. found out that one of his friends was there, so he went off with his friend without asking mom or dad. I looked over at my parents, they just looked at each other, shook their heads and whispered something I couldn’t hear. I told Matt that I wished C.J. would brighten up. He agreed.
We walked around a bit and played a few games. I won a cheap sock-monkey. Matt played a game where you toss rings on knives. He won a black and blue knife.
“Let's go ride some rides!” I said.
“Why not? Let's go!” said mom.
“What would you like to ride first?” asked dad.
“How about The Bear?” I suggested.
“That sounds like a good ride to me,” said Matt.
After several rides, we sat on a bench to rest for a bit. We also got a variety of foods to eat. We had hot dogs, french fries, hamburgers, deep fried Oreos and bottled water. After we ate, we sat and rested up for a while. Then we decided it was time we rode The Ride.
I started to get nervous as we walked towards the humongous, monstrous ride. The waiting line was humongous too.
Thirty minutes later, it was our turn to finally get on. So we handed the grumpy old ticket man our tickets and approached the stairs that led up to the ride.
When the cart arrived, people piled out. I heard people say, “Let's go again!” and “That was amazing!” I also saw a little boy with a huge smile and wicked hair. He looked like someone who might have stuck their finger in an electrical outlet.
When the ride was clear, we got on. Mom sat with dad and I sat with Matt. We all buckled our seat belts and waited for the ride to start. Dad looked back at me and asked, “Ready?”.
“Sure, I g-guess,” I replied nervously.
“Haha! What's wrong? Ya scared?” dad laughed.
“J-just a little.” I said. It's also cold in here, I thought to myself. The ride started moving and got very fast. I could feel the wind blowing in my face, it was so strong that I could barely keep my eyes open. I realized that it was blowing my long hair back into someone's face. I quickly pulled it away and yelled “Sorry!”
“It's okay!” said the random person.
“I knew I should have put my hair in a ponytail.” I mumbled.
“What?” asked Matt.
“Nothing....never-mind,” I said.
The roller coaster started getting rougher and rougher. We started going upside-down more, there were more hills and turns, people even started screaming!
It was now the time where you go around in loops about twenty times. People call it The Throw-up Bowl.
All of a sudden, I heard Matt curse and he started screaming. He was gone.
“MATT.....NOOOOOOOO!” I cried. The ride kept going, I tried to look down to see him. I saw a body face down on the ground. I started screaming and crying. Tears flew back into the face of the person behind me. I wanted off this ride! I yelled and shook mom and dad who were also panicking. People towards the front of the ride didn't have a clue what happened. But the people near us were sick and worried.
I squirmed around in my seat, kicking and and screaming like a two-year old. “I WANT OFF!!!” I yelled!
I kicked, cried and screamed for another two minutes. When the ride was finally over, I ran as fast as I could over to the large crowd of worried people. I pushed and shoved to get to my brother. There was a puddle of blood next to Matt's head. I turned away. I couldn't look any longer. I knew he was dead. Mom put her hand on my shoulder. But I just ignored it and ran away. I had no idea where I was at, so I just curled up on a bench. I heard sirens coming to take Matt away to the hospital.
Mom and dad were both crying and mom was on the phone. She was either calling C.J. or my grandparents. It turns out she was talking to C.J. because he came running to where we were at. I saw that he was sobbing too, just like the rest of us.
“Come on Kelsey, let's go to the hospital,” said dad in a depressed voice.
I said nothing but followed them to the car. Dad drove, mom cried and called family members, C.J. sat in silence and me, well I cried too.
When we arrived at the hospital, my eyes were red and hurt from all of the crying. Everyone got out of the car except for me. “I'm staying,” I said.
“Kelsey -”
“No, mom...I can't.”
Mom had a frown on her face and she shut my door. From the time they left to the time they got back, I thought about Matt and cried. What am I going to do without him? How will the family act now? WHY COULDN'T IT BE ME!? He was the-----
I guess I fell asleep because I woke up to mom saying, “Kelsey get up. We're home. Come on, get some sleep in your bed, not the car.”
I just groaned and walked inside, up the stairs, into my room and buried my face in my pillow. Mom was now talking on the phone with the owner of the park. It turns out that they are going to be giving us lots of money because of Matt's death. They also said that the cause of his death was from the broken seat belt. Once he said that, mom was furious. So was I.
Mom and dad were always discussing things about Matt. I never wanted to hear any of this. I stay in my room all the time now. My family members sometimes call and ask to talk to me, but I never accept the call. I'm afraid that they will bring up times about me and Matt and I'll explode into tears.


PART TWO

It has been months now since Matt's death, we also had his funeral. I'm back in school and I never say a thing. Kids and teachers want to help me. They say that I should go see the guidance counselor. But I shake my head “no” and walk away. My family members keep calling me. When my grandmother called, I did answer. And what do you know? She says that I should talk to a therapist. I gave it a thought for once and instead, I thought of a better idea. I don't want to talk about Matt, I want to talk to Matt.
So, I have decided that I should go to a psychic if I want to talk to Matt. Clop. Clop. Clop. Is mom wearing heels? Clop. Clop. Or flip-flops? Eeeerrrr. She opened my door... She wore heels.
“Don't you know how to knock?” I mumbled.
“What was that?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said.
“I'm surprised you're talking. What are you up to?”
“Hmm....nothing.”
“Okay then. Well, would you like some pizza? I never see you eat,” asked mom.
“Mmm... no.”
“Kelsey. Come on! You have got to brighten up!”
“Well maybe I can't! Okay! He was the best brother in the world and now he's gone!” I yelled.
Mom stood there for a minute and then shut my door. Oh well.
I went back to work on finding different psychics. My first visit was a guy named John. His office was about twenty-three minutes away from home. I put some things in my backpack and went down stairs.
“Where are you going?” asked dad.
“Out,” I said.
“But wait you ha------”
I already shut the door. I hopped on my neon green colored bike and rode off to John's office. I just realized that I'm going by bike, not by train or bus. “Great! That means an extra 10 minutes to get there.” I said out loud to myself. Next time I'll ride a bus, if this guy is a failure.
I looked up to a tall, dark building. 23 East Julian St. It must be it. I threw my bike on the sidewalk and walked up the crumbling concrete steps. I pulled the door open and a whoosh of cold, musty air rushed into me. There was an old lady sitting at the front desk.
“Uhh....Hi Miss. Is there a John Decklin here?”
Her voice was shaky, “Second door to your right.” She pointed to the old door in the hallway.
“Thank you Ma'am,” I said. I walked up to the door and knocked.
“Come in!” said a voice.
I walked in. “H-hi. My name is Kelsey.”
“Nice to meet you Kelsey.”
“Um, I'm here to see if you can help me talk to my brother Matt. He died from a roller coaster accident.”
The old, wrinkly man pointed to a chair. I walked over to sit in an old leather chair from the 70's.
“May I take your hands?” asked the man.
I put my hands out in response. He took them in his and closed his eyes.
“Your brother, he has blond hair, brown eyes and is short.”
Wrong.
“Like you said, he died in a roller coaster accident.”
Right.
“He is trying to tell me something. He says, You need to, you need to... I'm sorry, he's not here any more.”
I dropped my head and pulled my hands away slowly. I stood up, thanked the old man, and left. I had a feeling this guy was a fake.
When I got home, I went straight up to my room. I got a list of different psychics and hoped that at least one of them could tell me something.
I went through every Pete, John, Bob and Jack on the list. All were fails. So I decided I'll try to find one more psychic and hope the best that he'll be a good one. I laid on my bed and stared at the white ceiling, thinking of Matt.
After resting up for a bit, I actually went down stairs for once in my life.
“Wow! I'm surprised you're down here!” said dad.
“Yeah,” I sighed as I looked around trying to find something to eat.
“So, what have you been doing all this time? And why are you always going places now?” asked mom.
“No reason. I've just been searching for answers to things,” I said.
“Like what?” mom asked.
“Nothing! Will you stay out of my business!” I yelled angrily. Uhhg! I don't know why they always want to know where I'm going and what I'm doing! They should be more sad than I am! He's just a brother to me. I mean really! Brothers and sisters usually fight! Whatever!
I guess it's time that I search for the last psychic. If he's a fail too, then I'm going to go berserk! I made sure that I read everything on each person's website. If their description is like all the other people's that I visited description, then they are no good!
Frankie, no. Ronald, no. Joel, no. David, no. Robert, no. Am I going to find anyone? I clicked on a website for a man named Jason. Surprisingly, this guy looked fantastic! I read his description and the comments people gave him. There were very many satisfying comments.
I looked for his address so I can finally, hopefully get the chance to talk to my brother.




Jason Lonegan:



8340 Wiltshire Blvd.



Beverly Hills, CA 90211

Great! This guy lives hours away! I would never take my bike on a ride like that! I suppose I'll waste some time sitting in a train. Now I have to buy train tickets....good thing I saved up all my money.
October 8th finally arrived! It's the day I visit Jason! I jumped out of bed, got myself cleaned up, and ate breakfast. I grabbed my backpack and said, “Be back around five o'clock dad!”
“Okay, be careful!”
Running, Running! As fast as I could, I sprinted to the train station so I didn't miss the nine o'clock train.
“Waaaah!” I screamed as I tripped on the sidewalk.
“Stupid old sidewalk!” I got up, brushed myself off, and started running again. I can't let little things like that stop me! Oh well, I ripped my jeans a little. Who cares? I like ripped up jeans! I could almost see the train station! Almost there!
“Whoops! Sorry sir!” I almost ran into that guy! I have to pay attention!
Finally there, I threw myself against the door. People were staring at me and I realized why, I was panting like a dog. Hahaha!
“Hi. I'm here for my nine o'clock train tickets to Beverly Hills, California,” I told a lady at a desk.
“Sure. Your name please?” she asked.
“Kelsey Rasse.”
“Here you go Miss. You have 8 minutes until the train arrives.”
“Thank you ma'am.”
I walked down the stairs to wait outside for the train. I thought about what I was going to say to Jason, and this time, I'm not going to tell him anything about Matt. I checked my watch, eight minutes is up.
The train showed up and I climbed on and showed the man my ticket. He told me to sit in seat 18. Good thing I got to sit alone because if I got stuck with some smelly guy, that would be a miserable ride. The train started moving so I looked at my watch, 9:05. We would be in California at 12:15, so I took a nap.
I guess I should have set an alarm because a guy tapped my shoulder and told me my stop was up next. A voice on the speaker said,
“You have arrived at South Robertson Blvd. Beverly Hills, California.”
I got off of the train and looked at the map I brought. I crossed a few busy roads and walked past a couple houses. I looked at my map again and looked up. I was standing in front of Jason's house now. I walked up the new wooden steps and knocked on his front door. It looked like his house was freshly painted dark brown. This guy must have a lot of money, hopefully that means he's good.
A good-looking man – probably in his 30's – opened the door. He had short, dark brown hair, blue eyes, and smooth looking skin.
“Hello, you must be Jason. I'm Kelsey,” I said as I put my hand out to greet him.
He shook my hand, “Yes, that's me,” he said with a smile. “You, Miss Kelsey, must be here for a reading, correct?”
“I sure am. I hope you are the one who can help,” I said.
“Trust me, many people in the world come to me, and they leave either happy, or crying because they got to listen to a family member's words for the last time. Would you like to come inside and sit down?”
“Sure,” I said. I walked into a house full of different fragrances. It smelled of honey, tea, and cinnamon. His furniture was all dark leather and dark wood.
I took a seat in a leather chair next to a table with a plate of chocolate chip cookies. I don't even know when the last time was when I ate a cookie. Jason sat in a chair across from me and asked for my hands, just like all of the other psychics. I let him take my hands and do his job.
“Okay, so when I ask you a question, just say yes or no,” Jason said.
“Okay.”
“This person you lost, are they male?”
“Yes.”
“Is this man your brother?”
“Yes.”
“He's only....seven years older than you?”
“Yes.”
“He's telling me his name is Matt. Correct?”
“Yes.” I looked at Jason. His eyes were still closed and his face was sad. I had just noticed that his shirt was my favorite color, hunter green.
“Did you and Matt get along? Were you two close?”
“Yes, he was the best brother anyone could have,” I said.
“Now I'm feeling pain in my head. Did he hit his head? Was there a bad crash?”
“Yes, he flew off a roller coaster and landed head first.” I said.
“I'm sorry Kelsey,” said Jason. His eyes were open now. His deep blue eyes looked straight into my green ones. I frowned.
“Okay. Okay. He's telling me that he doesn't want you to be sad anymore. He wants you to talk to your parents and family. And he says that if you don't start talking in school, you'll get in trouble.”
I shook my head.
“Matt says that he wants you to stop thinking about him so much....Because his life is over now and you need to continue your own life... in a good way...not being depressed over his death. I-I'm sorry Kelsey, he wants to go.”
“No! Don't go Matt! I need you!” I was crying again.
“He says you should stop crying. You need to think of other things. He says he loves you, he misses you. And he says he wishes that you and the family would have had a better time at the amusement park.”
“Matt! I'm sorry! I wish it was me! I wish I was the one who flew off the roller coaster! It's not your fault, it's mine! If I was faster when I was getting ready, this might have never happened!”
“He told you not to say that. There's no way to go back in time. He's telling you to go home and enjoy your life. Stop being so sad. He loves you, you were the best sister ever. He's gone now Kelsey, I'm sorry.”
“I love you too Matt! I'll miss you. Goodbye Matt.” I was still sobbing. But I was happy I got to talk to Matt.
“I guess that's it then. Kelsey, I hope you do listen to your brother and be a little happier. It's not a good thing to be depressed.”
“Okay Jason. Thank you for the help. Your are definitely the one and only great psychic in the world!”
“Hahaha! Thank you Miss Kelsey,” said Jason as we both stood and walked to the door.
I gave Jason a hug and said “Thanks, you're a nice guy. Maybe I'll visit again....you would make a great friend!”
“Thank you. Goodbye Kelsey.”
“Goodbye Jason,” I said and walked down the wooden steps and toward the very busy and crowded train station. I stopped at Burger King to get some greasy, fast-food for “on the go,” I also decided to call my parents and tell them I got to talk to Matt. They were kind of freaked out that I talked to my dead brother. Then I made my way to the two o'clock train.
I climbed on the train and actually, I had a pleasant ride home. I am happy I found Mr. Jason Lonegan. I was even happier that I got to talk to Matt, if I hadn’t, my life would have been a wreck just as it was after Matt was killed. I’m surprised that I actually let Matt say good bye to me, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.