The Undeterminable Decision

Collin was ambitious. He was competitive in everything he did. Whether it was being the first one done with a test in class or being the first one to lunch, he loved to win. It ate at him whenever he wasn’t trying his best because he wasn’t exemplifying his full potential. Although competing in everything felt like second nature to him, nothing ever was quite at the same caliber of importance as was soccer. It was the one place where he truly felt at home, calm, and secure. If he had a soccer ball at his feet he didn’t have a worry in the world. He loved the creative flow and unpredictability of the game, for it meant seemingly anyone could come out on top which gave him the chance to always let it be him.

Today was no different. Outside in his backyard, Collin was practicing on his makeshift soccer field that consisted of a bright orange lacrosse goal and an old weathered lawn chair sitting in the dead center of the goal, blocking any bad shots from going in the goal. He stood, scouting out how he should kick the ball according to his location like a diver determining their next style of dive. The cool wind swept his long brown hair across his face and his foot twitched with anticipation. Collin quickly accelerated in two strides and struck the ball with dangerous precision, sending it right to the left upper corner of the net, sending the familiar noise of the swish of the net to his ears. He snickered at his beautiful shot and ran to go get the ball to set it up in a new position.

“Collin, come inside!” his Mother called to him.

“Why?” he responded wondering why his practice was being interrupted.

“We need to talk about your registration for soccer this season” she said

“Fine” Collin settled with, dismayed that his alone time had come to an end.

He walked up the new wooden stairs of his deck, setting his soccer balls in the corner of the platform when he reached the top. Collin’s family had a rather large modest house at the end of a cul-de-sac. They were an average American family. Four children, Christian, two full time working parents, and they were all seemingly happy. However the recent economic problems in 2010, had made money tighter in their family and caused sacrifices to have to be made.

Collin opened the bright white sliding glass door and walked in.

“What do we need to talk about?” he inquired

“Well, your Father and I have been looking over our finances and have decided that we need to cut back. Honey, you’re going to have to decide if you want to go to Soccer camp or play your spring soccer season.” She informed him, nervous of what his response would be.

“What!” Collin screamed in outrage. “Why can’t you cut back somewhere else? You could sell Marrisa’s car, she only uses it to drive to school, or you could buy cheaper dog food, Buster has perfect health, or… or… there has to be some other way!”

“Collin, I promise you this is the only way. We’ve been lucky to let you have it this long! Everyone has to give things up and make tough decisions, I’m afraid it’s just your turn now.” Collin’s Mother said with authority, showing the conversation had reached an end.

Fury spread through him like a spark on kindling. He stormed back out the door, back outside to refuge himself on the old weathered lawn chair and sat back. The back of the chair snapped and gave way from his weight and Collin fell to the ground. “Great, just great!” he thought to himself as he stood back to his feet, feeling like the whole world was against him. Pacing back and forth he began to consider his options. What was really most important to him? The fact that he would have to give up one of his events wasn’t what was bothering him; it was the consequences of not participating in them that he was afraid of. For as long as Collin could remember he had always wanted to play varsity soccer for East Prep High School, and now that he was going to be a junior and most of the seniors had left last year, it was the perfect time to secure his spot on the team. Competition had always been fierce to make the team, and there were plenty of other talented kids in his grade. Somehow he had to make himself stand out to the coaches and by going to East Prep High School soccer camp where the coaches were directly guiding them through drills and scrimmages, that’s where he planned to do it. But many of the fellow players played for the local competitive soccer team, that was one of the top teams in the state, which he’d been playing on for the last three years. It greatly improved his skills as a player and let him become familiar with his teammates style of play. Both of the programs were going to make him better as a player, but he wasn’t sure one alone would allow him to put him to the next level. The choice chewed away at Collin’s brain like an unsolvable problem.

The bright sun beat down on his pale skin, sweat raced down his brow. Suddenly it came to him. It didn’t matter which thing he did. He was doing what he loved and as long as he was doing it, nothing else mattered. So why not choose the program that lasts longer? He started back towards the house, feeling resolved and confident with his decision. Somehow, accepting the fact that he would have to sacrifice one of his most beloved things had changed him into a better person. He was no longer that foolish boy who needed a glorified training facility to help him make Varsity. When it came down to it, everything he needed to reach his full potential was all in his head.

He carefully opened his old oak front door, which hinges screeched with the slightest movement. Walking into the kitchen he found his Mother busily preparing dinner.

“Mom, I’ve made my decision.” He informed her confidently.

Approval spread through her face, relieved that he was able to come to a conclusion. Collin knew he’d made the right decision.