Monica, she was happy with her life and her family. School, well that was torture she hated it because of her disgusting, horrid, overweight body. The boy she liked didn’t notice her, he was way too busy looking at all the other pretty girls that had skinny bodies. Nobody would ever envy Monica with her chubby stomach sticking out. The bell rang first day of school as a 7th grader, Monica’s day was just getting better when she walked into Ms. Mann’s room, she was greeted by some class mates. She almost fell headfirst, when she saw him, it was, Danny! He was 5’ and had curly brown hair and a cute little mustache that made her blush, except he was her best friend.
“Yo Moni sit over here”
She sat beside him and starting feeling butterflies in her stomach, he always made her feel better. “At least the day is staring of great” She thought to herself with a smile on her face.
The rest of her classes were ok until...PE... She got a ten on the pacer while the other girls got 40 or 50, Monica felt terrible. The other girls snickered mocking her because she couldn’t run. Totally embarrassed she rushed to change into her comfy cargo pants, they were dark brown and army like in a way, and put on her blue long sleeve blouse. That day Monica made a decision she should have made a long time ago. Her fury kept building up and it developed into hating herself for letting herself do this to her body, she shouldn’t have eaten so much. Monica woke up the next morning and looked at herself into the mirror, she saw someone she didn’t want to know.
“What a disgrace!!”
Monica didn’t go to school that day, she told her mom she didn’t feel good and stayed home. When her mother left to work she decided to work out from 7am to 6pm, when her mother came from work all she said was, “I’m going to shower.”
She was really exhausted and went to sleep. In the morning her mother called her to go eat breakfast, “Monica come down I made your favorite pancakes!”
Monica walked down the stairs almost as if she was being dragged to the presence of the yummy smell coming from the kitchen.
“Really! Thanks mom you’re the best, it sure smells delicious. I’ll eat it upstairs, my favorite show is on ok? Love you.”
She walked up those stairs and dumped it all in her private restroom toilet. For two weeks Monica didn’t attend school and her mother didn’t know about it. Monica had called in as her mother saying Monica wasn’t going to be attending school for two weeks on account of a family emergency in Florida. Monica started skipping meals and then altogether not eating. The way she saw herself in the mirror she was a monster she had successfully secluded herself and her life from everyone, well almost everyone. She still kept in touch with Danny.
She saw that her stomach was smaller than it used to be and she could actually suck it in, she decided that she was ready to go to school tomorrow, it was Friday anyway. She entered that misty classroom of Ms. Mann and everyone stared at her mouths gawking. Danny stared at her with a puzzled look in his face
“Moni, you look different.”
“How?” replied Monica.
“Smaller?” Danny noticed this made Monica shudder, that day Monica went home and looked at herself in the mirror, she weighed 120 and punched her stomach out of anger, it just wasn’t enough! She punished herself for not losing more, Monica bruised her stomach purple and black all over. It didn’t even seem to hurt her, what the other girls had snickered and said about her before hurt way more and compared to this pain she felt nothing. She was incapable of being hurt anymore, she was already broken and all that mattered was to get Danny to realize he loved her. Monica imagined his big brown gorgeous eyes twinkling inside her mind.
One day Monica’s mother made her eat because she discovered inside Monica’s bathroom all the stashed dinners she hadn’t eaten. She gave her a plate of chicken and vegetables.
Monica started to cry and then said, “I hope you’re happy you ruined my diet”
Monica asked to be excused she said she was going to shower. Turned on the shower head, undressed, but didn’t go in the direction of the shower she went to the toilet. That was the first time Monica threw up her food, it felt good it was like an accomplishment. No one could tell her what to do it was her body, it was a relief to get rid of the hatred.
Monica wanted to feel accepted, more than anything by Danny At lunch she started to hang out with two other girls Serena and Daphne. They were beautiful with long blond hair a size 1 and 0 compared to Monica’s 5. At lunch a daily routine occurred that Monica would have to get her lunch, since her mother would check into the school to see if she was getting it , and she would give it to Serena and Daphne. One day during p.e Monica fainted during the pacer, she woke up at home realizing her mother picked her up, her mom was so worried.
“Monica what’s going, on you don’t have any idea what this is doing to me. I can’t concentrate on anything else but you. I have to monitor your eating, do you even know what you look like! You’re pale, bony, your eyes are so dark, you’re a mess!”
Monica was really getting temperamental, besides the fact she consumed a granola bar and nine glasses of water a day she was pretty grouchy stubborn you name it.“Shut up and leave me alone, you don’t understand anything, you don’t understand how it feels to be a whale next to everyone at school.”

She marched up to her room. In her head she thought of everything that was going on in her life she thought about Danny, still wondering why he didn’t love her. He always flirted with Serena, she was a zero why wouldn’t he. The pain for a boy who didn’t notice her was getting bigger into an obsession Monica walked into the kitchen and got the kitchen knife.
She went back into her room and started to cut her stomach when she was finally numb and happy she cleaned up and went to sleep. Monica would throw up her food, drink nothing but water, and work out 5 hours. It was the day to weight herself on the scale.
She lifted up her shirt full of scars and undressed. She weighed 102 and now she was a size zero, she did it, but Monica wasn’t happy. She cried herself to sleep, she didn’t know why but she cried until she bawled her eyes out. Monica waited for it to be morning to see Danny.
She walked to school that day as a girl that any guy would want to go out with the envy of all the other girls, in her hot pink lace top and designer jeans from Paris. Monica was something special and she was determined to tell Danny the way she felt about him that morning. She walked in to see a girl in her seat.

“Danny what is she doing in my seat?”

“Oh I’m sorry, let me introduce her to you Monica, Alondra this is Monica my best friend, Monica this is my girlfriend Alondra.”

“I don’t feel so good I’m going to go home bye.”
Monica couldn’t hide the fact that she was crying and left Danny screaming her name and chasing her.
Monica only lived one block away from her school when she suddenly stopped running, because she couldn’t see anything, everything went black. Monica was dizzy and fell onto grass she couldn’t keep running from Danny; he caught up to her and carried her as if she was a baby.
“Where are you going?”
“Like you care!, all you care about now is your new girlfriend Alondra , you ruined everything Danny, go away!”
“I’m not leaving you Monica! Look at yourself, you can’t even stand up, why did you react that way?

“You know what Danny I’m going to tell you, (sighs) the reason I ran away is because I love you. Ok we’ve been friends since elementary, and I’ve been trying to make you like me but I guess I’m not losing enough weight fast!” Monica started to cry hard in Danny’s arms.

“You silly girl is that why you haven’t been eating and I hardly see you, I guess I have someththing to tell you too. I love you too Monica, I just thought that if I told you it would ruin our friendship.”

“Then why are you going out with Alondra!!”

“Because I wanted to get over you, but were not going out anymore I broke up with her after you ran away, I told her it wasn’t a good idea and that we weren’t going to happen.”

“Really, you mean it?”

“I mean it but you have to start eating Monica, This isn’t healthy for anybody.”

“Ok I understand, I’ll start eating healthier but whats going to happen with us?”

Danny stood up and said.

“Monica will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes Yes Yes!”

A few days passed and Monica was in complete trance she was happy and Danny was happy, they finally shared the love they wanted to tell each other and it when better than she hoped. One day Monica was going to shower and she stood in front of the mirror and she saw that she had gained some weight, what! This can’t be happening to me! Monica immediately began throwing up and went to work out after. It had become a habit for so long that when she ate food it would feel like she had to throw it up she couldn’t contain it inside her stomach for long. She hid it very well from her parents, but Danny noticed her shrinking again, he decided to keep it to himself and said she looked stunning instead. Monica’s hair started shedding a lot her color looked yellowish and she would get tired very easily. She was living, but she wasn’t in the moment enjoying it. Every time Monica would see a girl she would often compare herself to that girl. How she wished her body looked like that, or that she looked better than the girl she was comparing herself to.

It was weigh day. She stepped on the scale and was ninety-five, this was a tremendous rush that she got to this goal. She was so happy she went to celebrate with a five hour workout, except thirty minutes in she fainted and was taken to the emergency room by her parents. Monica’s blood work showed that she was very unhealthy and needed to be kept in the hospital until she gained twenty pounds for her ideal weight. Monica was in denial and said she didn’t need help, that she looked great that and everyone was crazy. She needed to get out of there, two days later Danny went to go check up on her.

“Danny’! My love you’re here! Help me get out of this room, they think I’m crazy.”


“I came to tell you something Monica, and it’s not easy for me to tell you, but I think we should take a break until you get better.” There was a strong silence.

“Why are you doing this to me Danny? You’re all that I have” and she started to cry and cry.

“I’m sorry” Danny couldn’t see her cry like that and rushed out of the room Monica didn’t understand she did everything for Danny, she became beautiful for him she loved him yet he didn’t love her he left her here all alone she didn’t have a reason to live for anymore she hated school, she hated her life without him. That night Monica got the needles from the doctor’s drawer and committed suicide, three days later was her funeral. The funeral of the girl that thought beauty was everything she needed. In the back shadows was Danny remembering the girl he used to know.