The night was young and Joe Simmons was getting ready to finally confront his crush,
Chanel Livingston. Joe overheard two athletes in the locker room talking about a house party on
Elm St. So then it hit him like a lightning bolt hitting the Empire State building. Joe decided to
invite himself to that party, and he was running late. Joe ran down stairs to take his mom’s car,
but he had to be silent. His mom was Madea Simmons, Georgia’s toughest matriarch. You would
have to be insane to steal her car, but it was worth it. Joe approached his mom and couldn’t see
the car keys. Suddenly he heard the cling of the keys on his mom’s chest. This was very
disturbing. Joe unbuttoned her shirt and reached for the keys and tip-toed his way out. He got
inside his moms low rider and drove to Elm St.
Arriving to the party Joe felt a little anxious at the thought of not being able to confront
her. Joe headed inside and couldn’t believe his eyes. He had no idea what he had missed out on
all these years. There she was, Chanel Livingston stunning like always wearing that white dress
he likes and gold 6-inch pumps. He walked towards her but then he freaked out so he walked
towards the pastries table. The food looked delicious. He started grabbing and munching at
whatever he grabbed without seeing what he was eating. He kept checking out Chanel suddenly
he got an abdominal cramp. “OH SHAVING CREAM! I just ate cheese!” Joe yelled in agony.
Joe rushed to the restroom and slammed the door. Next thing you know it was an
eruption, Joe had explosive diarrhea. When he finished his business he noticed there was no

toilet paper. He freaked out. Then Joe tried to flush, but it wouldn’t. He had clogged the toilet.
Joe tried and kept trying to flush the toilet but it just wouldn’t. Then Joe heard people knocking,
he noticed he’s been there for quite a while. Knock Knock Knock! Joe kept hearing, “I’m going!”
Joe shouted. “Desperate times call for desperate measures” Joe said unsure. Joe took off his sock
and used it to wipe himself but it wasn’t enough so he had to take the other one off too to finish
wiping himself. Then Joe noticed a cup with beer inside. Then it hit him. Joe tossed the beer out
the window then he used the cup to scoop up his diarrhea and started tossing it out the window as
well. There it was the last scoop, right when Joe tossed the last scoop Chanel Livingston was
passing by smoking a cigarette and got hit with his diarrhea. AHHHHH! Chanel shouted. There
she was the love of his life covered in Joe’s diarrhea. The white dress wasn’t white anymore. Joe
ran out the restroom and rushed to the backyard where Chanel was and tried explaining.
“I’m sorry I didn’t see you!” Joe said with such shame. Chanel was furious, yet
disgusted. She was dripping in anger and poop. Chanel ran away furiously and vowed never to
speak to Joe; Joe felt like his world had ended. The next day the police showed up to Joe’s house
and told him Chanel placed a restraining order against him. The next day Joe went to school and
there was a rumor going around saying he would stalk her and that she feels harassed in the way
that he would stare at her. Joe was confused and bummed. He thought that it was cruel and
dramatic of her and that it wasn’t necessary. The next couple of weeks and even years Joe would
think what would have happened if he wouldn’t have eaten those pastries but most importantly
he wondered how different things would have been if there would have only been an extra role
of toilet paper in that bathroom.