Part I

The little girl stood there unmoving and certainly confused. She was a child of merely four years old but already carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. She heard a loud bang that resonated from her mother’s head hitting the side of the wall. Here she saw her father rushing to her mother. He looked as if he had been a deer in headlights, full of shock then distress. The little girl saw him holding her mother just like he held her sometimes, cradled in his arms.

He yelled to her, “Sweetie, go get the phone for daddy! Come on go get the phone!”

She knew where the phone was, it was next to her mommy and daddy’s picture in the hall. The little girl thought her mother looked like a beautiful princess in the dress she wore, and her daddy looked like a prince dressed as a penguin. They were both smiling, that’s what she liked about the picture the best.

Then she heard her dad again, “Sweetheart, where is the phone? Please bring the phone! Quickly!”

She turned away from the happy picture and picked up the silver phone. She bobbed back to the room where her daddy was holding her mommy like a baby and gave him the silver phone. She saw him shaking and mommy looked like she was asleep.

“Kate! Kate! Stay with me Kate! Please!” her daddy cried, “Please! I am so sorry!”

The little girl had never seen an adult cry before, there she stood even more confused.

“Please help me! My wife, she’s unconscious. She won’t wake up! Please send somebody!” said her daddy into the phone.

She remembered she heard a bang just like this one before. She had to get her Dad the phone that time too.
“Last time though,” she thought, “Mommy was awake but her wrist looked like a big blue and purple balloon.”
The little girl remembered a lot of screaming that time too. Her mommy
Screaming at her daddy, her daddy screaming at her mommy. She knew that no one was screaming at her, and that made her happy. But she was still scared because of all the loud voices and the angry faces.

This time she heard the yelling, but it was not as loud. It was muffled, like someone put their hand over their mouth and started talking. She saw her mommy and daddy go into their room and they told her to go play. Then she heard the bang.


Her dad looked up at her now, hanging up the phone. He gently took a hold of her soft curly-haired head and said, “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry!”

He picked her mommy up like a baby and walked out of the room. The little girl bobbed behind them, her little ringlets bouncing as she hopped down the stairs. She opened the door to the garage for her daddy just like she always did. He carried her mommy into the car and put her into her seat.

“Daddy! Where are you going?” she asked.

“We’re going to the hospital, sweetheart,” he responded.

After securing his wife in the passenger seat, the little girl’s father helped her into her car seat. She saw the light flood the garage as he opened the garage door. The little girl heard the car engine as her father drove along. It sounded loud and fast just like the race cars on TV.

They rounded the corner and she saw the big, red cross that meant they were at the hospital. People in gowns and gloves opened the car and asked her daddy what happened.

“My wife…she hit her head,” is all he said.

Someone else with white gloves put a mask over her mommy’s nose and another person started strapping her to a bed. They were all talking very loudly and were all covered with white. The little girl thought they looked like a big flock of chickens, all surrounding and pecking at her mother.

Her dad unbuckled her from her seat and picked her up in his arms. They followed the chickens into a big shiny room with a lot of beds. She looked up at her daddy, his eyes were red and watery. One of the chickens came and started talking to her daddy very fast. As soon as she was done he tried to get past her to see the little girl’s mommy. This chicken told them they couldn’t see her until later and would have to wait until she was done.

The father placed his little girl down on the floor and they walked hand in hand to a waiting room.

“Daddy, why can’t we see mommy?” she asked him.

“I don’t know sweetheart, I really don’t know,” he said.

The little girl enjoyed the waiting room. There were a lot of toys and a television. There was also a machine with yummy snacks that came out when you put money inside it. The pair of them, father and child, sat waiting in the room until the light outside turned dark. The little girl was the first to see a lady with a black suit approaching them.

“James Cooper?” she asked her daddy.

“Yes! That’s me,” her daddy said as he stood up, “Is there any news on my wife?”

“Yes there is,” the lady said, “but first you’ll have to talk to me.”

The little girl saw her dad and the lady walk to the other side of the waiting room, near all the puzzles and books. She saw her dad start to cry and the lady talking. Her dad came back to her and picked her up.

“Jamie, I’m going to have to let this lady watch you for a little bit. Is that okay? She will take you to see mommy,” her daddy said to her.

“Where are you going, daddy?” she asked.

“They have to take me away for a little bit. Just like a time out, because I did something wrong. You’ll be okay, stay strong. Chin up, remember,” her father responded.

“What did you do daddy?” she asked.

“I will tell you when you’re older, baby. For now I have to say bye bye. Okay? I love you so much Jamie,” he said.

Her daddy kissed her on the head and put her down next to the lady in black. She saw her daddy walk towards two police officers and then gradually vanish down the hall.


Part II

He sat staring at the wall of concrete. He knew everything was gone. James just sat, his hair matted, his face unshaven, his eyes ringed with tears.

“What happened? Did Kate say anything to cause you anger?” the social worker asked.

“All Kate told me to do was relax,” he said, “all she told me to do was calm down.”

“Then what happened?” the social worker asked.

“Then…well that’s the thing, I don’t really know. One minute Kate is standing in front of me and the next she’s laying in my arms unconscious,” he responded.

“Well, Mr. Cooper that would be the definition of blind rage,” the social worker said, “your wife has informed me that your last assault on her caused her a fractured wrist. This time it caused her a concussion.”

“Yes,” he said, “that’s true.”

“She also informed me that this argument was caused by her desire to take Jamie and leave you. Is that correct Mr. Cooper?” asked the social worker.

“Yes,” James responded, closing his eyes, “yes, she wanted to leave me.”

“Do you understand that as a result of this, you will no longer be given any custody of your daughter, Jamie?” asked the social worker.

To this James did not respond. He sat unmoving and unspeaking and unbreathing and hating every part of himself. He himself, became his most hated object. He became a monster.

“James, what are your thoughts on this?” asked the social worker.

“I will do whatever it takes to save my family,” said James, “even if it means staying away from me.”