Makeup can't cover the fatigue from restless nights. I lay down and wish I could just fall asleep, and not worry, not cry. If I had any control, I would sleep forever. Because when you're sleeping, there are no worries. You know it's just a dream, and if it's a nightmare, you can just wake up. Life isn't quite so simple. I want to "wake up" from life, and learn that my sweet sister is still alive. I want to open my eyes, and find her sleeping in the bed beside mine. No. That's never going to happen. Reality doesn't have happy endings. Not for me, at least. I try to think back to the joyful memories we shared, but memories only make me more sad. I long for those moments, if only I could have her for one more day! I'd tell her I love her, and she is the most important person in my life. I'd ask her to please forgive me, I didn't mean the words I said. Sister dearest, I love you. I need you. Living is a burden, but a blessing as well. I want to live, but not without my sister. I lay down, try to sleep, but my thoughts keep going back to her. Tears stream down my face, as I whisper, "Sister dearest, I love you. I need you."