Test Subject A arrives in the sterile room, three walls and a one-way mirror enclosing her in the experiment.


- An observation -
1) Her mousy, reedy hair
clings to her unimpressive face.
2) Her disproportionally long arms, attached to more of a male’s body than that of a female, are crossed protectively over her perpetually flat chest.

A perfect specimen.

Test Subject A lacks beauty, yet does not exactly possess ugliness either. She’s rather lost somewhere in between the two poles; simply there, inhaling oxygen and retching out carbon dioxide.


- The hypothesis -
1) Given a finger, the test subject will seize the whole hand and develop the “Green” condition.

Test Subject A’s purgatory-identity puts her at somewhat of a disadvantage to the ailment. A personality built on recessive alleles and DNA mutations makes her rather susceptible to the genetic disorder.



- The apparatus -
1) 1 × paranoid human mind
2) 1 × innocent stimulus
3) 1 × green notebook

The speakers in the examination room erupt and send thick sound waves to penetrate the thin silence. A man’s voice (her unlucky husband’s) serenades the small room.

“Yes… Yes… Unfortunately my wife’s away for a few days, but it would be great to catch up with you. Jessica and I miss our days as the three musketeers! Remember? …Okay, see you then, Sarah.”



- A secret -
1) “…see you then…” refers to a date by which Test Subject A will be back at home.
2) This date was specifically chosen by her husband so as to allow her to join the reunion.
3) Test Subject A does not know this.

Test Subject A’s face remains a perplexed blank for several moments. Her denseness could devastatingly jeopardize the accuracy of this experiment.

- An epiphany: “Green” condition -
1) The corner of her paper-thin mouth twitches slightly.

After the slow start, the illness possesses Test Subject A’s body at an alarming rate. Before long, the advanced symptom of a green lump on her heart appears, with an imminent threat of the mitotic spread of the mossy tumour to the rest of her build.
Her melanocytes are infected not too soon after, the “Green” condition dyeing her melanin pigments until a slimy, sickly green diffuses into her complexion.



- A task -
1) Find a more original name for the “Green” condition.

Test Subject A now exhibits majority of the advanced symptoms of the sickness. Green moss is growing out of every pore and it seems a dangerously aggressive anger is tending to this garden. Yet, even more aggressive is Test Subject A’s sense of self-loathing. No doubt she views her husband’s supposed (he hasn’t set a foot in the wrong, she has simply been made to believe so) ‘Scarlet Letter’ betrayal as her own sin for being so utterly boring.



- A neologism -
1) The “Green” condition will from now on be referred to as “Jealousy”.

The experiment has been a raging success. Test Subject A firmly believes her husband is being unfaithful to with Sarah. Such a response was brought on with only a few well-chosen, vague words. Her condition is a sour concoction of a pitifully low self-image and a far-fetched, self-induced belief; the disgusting ‘fun’ she believes they were having.


- Possible treatments -
1) Pesticides
2) Clozaril
3) Sterilization




- Conclusion -
1) “Jealousy” is a hypochondriac’s disease.