“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is growing up.” I heard that quote while learning about James Baldwin in high school. I will forever remember that quote for the rest of my life. My story is a long one that creates a blur between my real life and the movies. It’s a never ending story at that, but in all honesty I’m glad I live the life I do. I’m from the small city of Effingham, Florida. Growing up here was the best. My dad always took me out to the Lynches River County Park to fish and camp the first week of every summer till I was recruited during my senior year of high school. Summers there were damp and scorching, it constantly felt like you were melting to the ground beneath you. One time a pair of my shoes actually melted to the walmart parking lot when I was 12.
Boot camp was one of the most physically enduring challenges I have ever faced in my life, till I was deployed. I went to boot camp at MCRD in San Diego, California. The weather there was so much different than home. It was bearable over here, definitely didn't have any of my shoes melting to the ground. Morning jogs at three in the morning after marching four hours the night before. Doing a hundred pushups on the demand of your Sargent. After boot camp I was placed into 3rd Battalion 5th Marines, also known as ? Darkhorse. 3rd Battalion 5th Marines is one of the highest decorated battalions in the Marine Corps. The measure of Marines that I worked with within this battalion is some of the roughest and toughest Marines both mentally and physically. It was a honor to be apart of such a great battalion and fight next to some of the greatest Marines to ever walk to earth. We specialized from everything between infantry to negotiation. Personally I was decorated with a bronze star ribbon, Marine Corps Commendation ribbon, good conduct ribbon, and many more for several good reasons. The true reason why I joined the Marines was because my Uncle Josh. He died overseas in Afghanistan by a roadside bomb, his death changed my life drastically. It changed my life forever, I lost my uncle, my best friend. I didn’t know what to do so I thought to myself, why not join the military to honor him? Decorations spill out words that soldiers do not want to say. It shows what a man has been through in life with just a look at his uniform. A mans uniform is the pride and joy of his military experience.
I have deployed twice to combat zones in Fallujah, Iraq and Sangin, Afghanistan and once on the 31st Marine Expeditionary unit which was on a ship. We trained in Thailand, Okinawa, the Philippines, and Australia. I never thought I would see the day where my life would become more important than the will to save anothers life. I have seen things that are indescribable, I’ve done things that no man should ever be proud of. Still after saying that, I am glad that I did the things I did; because it gave me a life I never knew I could have. The desert was a very hard place to live in. The temperature was radical by day and drastic by night. Night shifts were the worst overseas for months on end, they gave you a sense of despair and agony. I was part of the Battle of Sangin in 2011-2012; it was one of the toughest battles that the Marine Corps had seen. We fought and destroyed the last remaining Taliban strongholds. This battle took part of many different firefights many in which I took part in. We lost 25 outstanding Marines along the way. Children wandered the streets of Sangin at all hours of the nights. Here’s where the movies have it wrong, they always show soldiers smiling with the children, like there isn’t anything they would rather be doing. But that is not the case all the time. The children are much scarier than they appear. Many carry weapons on them as if they are ready for war at age six to ten.
I got to see some things that others will never get to experience. During the naval deployment I did many indescribable things. We were docked at a port on the South side of Australia. We had that entire weekend to do what we pleased. A few buddies of mine had heard of this bar. It was about 16 miles away from the ship where we were docked. I insisted on not going out and just staying at camp, but they were determined and had their hearts set on going out. So being the man I am, I flagged a taxi down and we all made our way to the bar. That’s where my life truly began. It was a shanty bar, didn’t seem like it had any kind of class. The bar had carvings throughout all of the wood. The barstools there could barely stand on four legs like many of the customers couldn’t stand on two legs. And you guess it, the alcohol there was s***. I stuck with sealed beers. I've always had that weird trust issue and constantly feel like open drinks are poisoned, guess I had just seen it happen one to many times.
Her name was Kali Barde, with eyes the size of the moon and the sparkle of all the night stars in the sky. I was mesmerized, I was in awe. I knew right then and there that she was the one. She was going to be the one I wanted forever. I was 27 at the time and she was 24. Age was simply just a number to us. She was around 5’ feet tall, long wavy brown hair, luscious lips, beautiful green eyes and her freckles glimmered in the lights. Her grin was intimidating, almost like a challenge. She was very fit, she was a petite size and I could tell by the way she walked that she was confident and independent. We sat there all night talking to each other learning new things about each other. She explained to me that she was from Rapid City, South Dakota. Her mother raised her by herself, and that her father died in a work accident when she was about 5 years old. She was here in Australia to do some reporting on the music artists that were popping up around the towns. She had a deep love and connection to music, she couldn't keep her feet from the dancefloor that night. We rode home together in the same taxi, once we got to her hotel room she invited me into the lobby so I could get her american phone number and her address. As she kissed my cheek goodnight I slipped the ripped piece of paper into my jean pocket, holding on to it tightly.
That 20 dollar ride to the bar and home was worth every single penny. After we shipped away Sunday morning I got out a piece of paper and my pen, then began to write Kali. I sent her a letter everyday I could, and every time I received a letter. My heart pounded out of my chest. It wasn’t like there was a mailman to deliver our mail on time everyday like it was at home. It was really hard for us to stay connected, but we did. Boy am I glad that we did. True love can be found in war, and I was lucky enough to be apart of that. The movies always illustrate that the war hero gets the pretty girl, but in my case; I was no war hero, and she wasn’t the prettiest girl at that bar. I knew when her eyes met mine, I just had to have her for my own. It was true love.
War was the most terrifying incident I ever faced, I’ve seen things that a civilians eyes couldn't imagine. My feelings about war didn’t change any, I believe that there needs to be Marines and soldiers to keep our enemies in line. I wish that one day this world will see a time of peace where was is not the only option. Even saying that, I love the fact that I met the love of my life in a time of war and poverty. I have fired my weapon to save my life and the ones around me, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. I am a man with good qualities, and a very lucky man at that. The military brought me to the love of my life. It gave me a sense of where I stand as a man. Right next to Mrs. Greg Hinkle. We are married now, and have been for seven years. We have two children; Madison and Andrew. And I am the happiest I have ever been, thanks to the military.