SAILOR

Sailor doesn’t like to smile. Sailor doesn’t like to laugh. I like to smile, and I love to laugh. But Sailor is my best friend.

“Start walking, you’re going to be late to school”

“Okay, mommy”

Sailor goes to school with me. She hates it. She hates a lot of things. Sometimes she says she hates me too when I don’t want to help her. I tell her I don’t want to help her because it’s mean. I always do though, because she’s my best friend, and she says that’s what best friends are supposed to do.

I opened the front door. It had snowed last night.


“I’m leaving now!”

“Bye, be careful.”

I stepped outside and nearly tumbled down the ice coated steps.

The sun was nowhere to be found. It was going to be another cloudy, cold, winter day in this tiny town.

I was a block away from school when I noticed someone, a man, walking my way. He was now running towards me.

“Darcy!” he shouted, flapping his arms everywhere. I knew who it was now. He wasn’t a man, not really. He was about ten years older than me. He was getting closer to the point where there was only a crosswalk between us, and that didn’t stop him because he kept running.

“Darcy!”

My eyes widened, my heart stopped, my mouth was open, there were tears rolling down my cheeks and I tasted the saltiness as they fell into my mouth.

“No!” I choked.


“That’s why you’re always supposed to look both ways before you cross the street, Darcy.” I looked at Sailor.

“Sailor, you didn’t do that to him did you?”

“No. How would I do that? I was next to you the whole time.” I looked at her skeptically.

“But you hate him” I said
“Yes, yes I know I hate him. You know what he did!” she shouted back. She was getting mad. I didn’t say anything more.
“We’re going to be late. We can’t be late, Darcy.”

“I don’t like this idea. I don’t want to do it anymore.”
“You’re my best friend, and I’m yours. You have to.” She said. I nodded absently, because only about five feet away from me lay Jason’s lifeless body.
“Come on, let’s go already.” We turned the corner and entered the small parking lot of my elementary school.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Jason. He’s my mommy’s brother and the only friend I had before Sailor. He was.

I remember mommy gave me some money and I went out my window at night to the little store across the street where Jason worked. I wanted something chocolaty because I had icky green things for dinner.

Jason was one and six together. I can never remember that number. Mrs. Manning, my teacher, says I’m no good with numbers. She tells me I’ll never be a first grader if I can’t count to one hundred. Sailor hates Mrs. Manning. I think I do too.

When I walked into the store that night, I saw Jason. He was talking to Sailor and he looked scared. He looked more than scared. He looked mad too.

That was the day Sailor and I met, and that was the day we became best friends, because I saved her.

“Jason, what are you doing!” I screamed.

“Darcy, get out of here!”


I remember running towards them and getting in between. I got in between Sailor and Jason’s gun.

“No! Darcy!” yelled Jason behind me after I ran out of the store with Sailor. I never spoke to Jason again. I told mommy he wasn’t my best friend anymore. I told her I had Sailor now.

“Are you ready?”

“No. I told you I don’t want to help you with this.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not nice.”

“And when have they ever been nice to you?”

I stared at her. She was right. The kids in my class have never been nice to me, not one of them. They call me things like weird, stupid, and crazy.

“I’m not crazy.”
They say I’m a freak. I don’t know what that means, but I know it’s not a nice word, because it doesn’t sound nice, and it hurts. Nice words don’t hurt.
“Of course you’re not, Darcy.” Sailor reassured, smiling with just her eyes.
We entered the school and ran into one of the nearest bathrooms.
“It’s 7:38; we have twenty minutes before she comes to pick up breakfast.” She explained.
“How much is twenty-two, Sailor?”
“There’s no time for that. We have to find a way into the kitchen.”
We tiptoed down the hallway into the cafeteria. The lunch lady was putting the milk cartons into the boxes to take to the classroom

“That one!” Sailor pointed to a box labeled Manning, “You have to go get it Darcy.”

“B-but the lunch lady…”

“She’s going into the kitchen, hurry!”

I ran to the table and grabbed the box. I could hear the lunch lady’s footsteps getting louder behind me. We ran out with the box before she entered the cafeteria

We were in the hallway again.


“Where to now?” I asked her.

“Let’s just… there!” She pointed to the janitor’s closet. I walked the couple steps to it and opened the door. We entered the closet and sat on the floor with the box of milk cartons in my hands.

“Get that” demanded Sailor as she began to open the milk bottles.


“What is it?’ I asked.

“Just pass it here and open the rest of the milk bottles.”

I gave her the white bottle and opened the last couple of milk bottles. I tried to read what it said on the bottle. I wasn’t any better with letters than I was with numbers.


I didn’t know what the first letter was. It looked like half of an O. The second letter was just a line. I knew the third one was an O. The one after that was almost an N. After that came another O. The last letter was so familiar. It was on the tip of my tongue. Mrs. Manning uses it on all of my papers and it tells me that I had the wrong answer.


“Here” Sailor handed me a half empty bottle. She opened more milk bottles and dumped half of their contents into a bucket.


“Pour that into this until it’s full.” I did as I was told. Sailor dumped half of each milk bottle and I filled it with whatever was in this white bottle. She closed them and told me to shake them afterwards. I did as I was told.

“There,” I looked at Sailor and she was smiling. I’ve never seen her smile. Her smile wasn’t like any smile I’ve ever seen. It gave me a funny feeling. The feeling I get when I’m in the dark, “help me put them all back in the box.” She ordered.

“Sailor,” I whispered. She didn’t hear me. She was busy putting the bottles in the box. I got on my knees to help her.

“Let’s go, grab the box.” I held the box tight in my hands.

“I’ll tell you when to go.”

I listened the clinking of the bottles in the box as it lay in my shaking hands. “Go.” said Sailor and I began to enter the cafeteria, when a voice from behind stopped me.


“Ms. Walker,” I turned around to see Mrs. Manning behind me, “what are you doing?”

“Uhm, I was-“

“You should be in the classroom!”

I grabbed Sailor and walked away. Our classroom was only a hallway down from the cafeteria.

I opened the door and walked in with Sailor. Mrs. Manning walked in a few seconds after we sat down. She looked at me and gestured me to come.

“Stay here.” I said to Sailor. The boy in front of me looked at me with wide eyes and a raised eyebrow.

“Freak” he said. I smiled at him and walked over to Mrs. Manning.

“Young lady I don’t know who you think you are wondering the hallways trying to steal food. For that behavior, you will not be receiving breakfast this morning. Instead, you will be serving it to your classmates and maybe, just maybe, you won’t have to clean up after. It’s not likely though, sweetie.”

“Yes, Mrs. Manning.” I said while glaring at her as I took food in handfuls to my classmates.

First, I passed out the cinnamon buns. Then, I gave everyone an apple. And lastly, I gave them their milk bottles.

For minutes I listened to the rustling of cinnamon bun wrappers, the biting of apples, and the swallowing of milk. Then, the complaints.

“Mrs. Manning, I don’t feel so good.”

Then, the splashing of vomit.

“I want my mommy!”

And finally, the thumps of small five year old bodies falling to the ground.

“What did you do!” Mts. Manning was grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me. “You’re sick! You’re a sick child!” She was pulling my hair so I bit her till I could taste her blood in my mouth.

“Ugh! Look at what you’ve done! Someone call 911!” she screeched as she let go of my hair.

“Sailor told me too!” I pointed at Sailor.

Mrs. Manning started to laugh, “You really are crazy, aren’t you Darcy?”

“I’m not crazy!” I began to cry. I wanted a hug from my mother. Or Jason.

“Listen to yourself!” I looked at her through the tears in my eyes as she pointed to Sailor who was still sitting at my desk, smiling.

“You’re blaming this on a doll?”