They found his diary under his bed. Phil let out a sigh of relief as Ally struggled to pull it out from under his mattress.
“You need to stop losing your diary P”, said Ally. Ally plopped the diary down in Phil’s lap, encouraging him to write.
“I told you, it’s NOT a diary Ally. It’s a journal and you know it”
“Mhm, whatever you say”, Ally found a pencil in the side drawer of Phil’s bedside table and dropped it in his lap.
“It’s been too long and you get a little extra crazy when you don’t write P. I’ll be downstairs whenever you’re ready. No rush.” Phil sighed. He hated how well Ally knew him, but he never told her because she was the only kid at school who didn’t exaggerate ignorance or judge him for sitting by the lake during lunch and talking to the water. Of course no one knew Ally sat with him. No one knew about Ally because she was just as invisible and Phil was.

Phil quickly scribbled down some details in his “leather bound treasure chest”, as he liked to call it, about how school had been going and the new kid in school, who accidently acknowledged his prescence the other day. People were astonished when the new kid, whatever his name was, had one of those awkward moments in the hallway when both people try to avoid running into each other at the same time. You know, that stutter step trying to juke out the person walking towards you to avoid collision. People were surprised the new kid actually made the slightest effort to avoid bumping. Though, it didn’t last long, because after lunch the new kid had gotten the jest and marched through his transparency just like everyone else.

Phil’s thoughts were kind of bumming him out so he shoved his book back under the mattress and threw the pencil under with it. He felt instantly dizzy as he stood up and struggled to focus, almost tripping down the stairs. He was starving. As he walked into the kitchen, he saw Ally sitting at his kitchen table, arms crossed. Joining Ally at the table, not bothering to reach for an orange, apple, anything. His medication made him lose his appetite.

Phil’s mom was sitting at the counter, finishing up whatever she was always typing. Phil looked at Ally and they picked up their bags and walked out of the side door. It was late March and in Virginia, that meant it was fresh out, but not cold enough for the “thick rug of a cardigan” that Ally always wore. They got to the end of the street when Ally asked Phil what they were doing and reminded him that they never have and never would walk to school, based on the fact that it was ten miles away. Phil wondered what he would do without Ally. He was a little extra out of it that particular day. Phil’s mom pulled up in her white Audi, yelling at Phil while he looked at Ally had smirked.
“What are you smirking at?!” said his mom in a tone that questioned the fact that he was a junior in high school and not just some toddler that had wandered out of the house.

Phil slid across the seats, leaving a spot open for Ally.
“Well are you going to close the door, or just sit there like some idiot?”
Ally sat there motionless, so Phil rolled his eyes and reached across her to slam the door shut.

When they got to school, Phil rushed out of the car as usual while Ally just trailed behind, taking everything in without a care in the world.
“Have fun. Bye.” That was Phil’s mom’s kiss of death each day when she dropped him off. Everyone else drove themselves but Phil wasn’t allowed to. He didn’t know why, but he didn’t care. He liked riding with Ally every day in the back seat. Phil walked through the parking lot and frowned. It made Phil furious that his mom never said bye to Ally. He always asked his mom she treat Ally the same way she treated him, but all she ever said was something about not antagonizing his creativity. He didn’t know what that meant. It made him furious.
“See you at lunch loser.” Ally peeled off, heading behind the building. Phil always wondered what Ally did while he went to class. He was curious, curious enough to skip class and join her. He offered to hang out with her on multiple occasions, but she never wanted him to. Being the awkward kid he was, Phil stumbled a bit while trying to hold his arms in a way that felt comfortable. He struggled with his body, especially his arms. He settled with crossing his arms, it was the somewhat confortable position he knew.

If you asked Phil what his school schedule was, he couldn’t tell you. His day was 45-minute blocks of time when he would day dream about different things. From 8:00- 8:45 he always found himself thinking of being stranded on an island called Madagascar with these mystical people who controlled different aspects of his life. From 8:50-9:35 he dreamt of living in the back woods of an ancient town with a woman and her daughter. They were outcasts just like him, so he liked them. Especially the bright red letters the woman wore on her dresses. From 9:40-10:25 it was lava lamps. He just watched the globs of color float around. I don’t know. It was soothing. From 10:30-11:15 was Phil’s favorite time of day. His teacher always brought their class outside. Phil always thought it was History class and that they were doing some sort of war reenactments with all the guys running at each other. He just sat in the shade; legs crossed, and watched the madness unfold. He was always looking around for Ally during this class. She always disappeared behind the building before school but she was nowhere to be found. He thought about it and questioned whether Ally had attended one single class since their first year of high school.

Some high pitch sound rang in Phil’s ears and all the kids ran back into the building. Phil got up and headed to the lake, before realizing he forgot his lunch, but he didn’t want to have to maze through the hallways, he couldn’t remember where his locker was. After the bell rang, some kids went to class, and some went to lunch. The hallway was empty and Phil decided to hunt down his locker. He got so frustrated everyday when he would forget where it was.
“You looked like a complete loser sitting in the shade by yourself P” Ally appeared out of nowhere. “Do you even know how to play capture the flag?” Ally nudged her elbow into Phil and he nearly fell. “God you’re weak. I guess I understand. If you were to attempt participating you would be ripped apart by those monster kids.”
“I’m not that weak” Phil protested. In attempt to prove himsel, Phil put his hands on Ally’s shoulders and pushed as hard as he could. Catching her off balance, Phil was able to knock Ally onto the floor.
“I guess I was wrong” Ally put out her hand, asking for Phil to help her up. As Phil grabbed her hand, she pulled onto the floor alongside her. Phil grunted as he fell and tears formed in his eyes. Ally stood there smirking, chuckling to herself.
“Calm down stud”. She kept a couple yards between her and Phil as they walked over to the lake after having given up the search for his locker. Phil wasn’t hungry anyways and neither was Ally. She never was. In fact, Phil had never seen her eat anything. Ever. Phil had never met her parents either, but she was always bragging about how great they were and all the fun they always had. Phil was always jealous.

Phil and Ally picked up rocks and started throwing them at the lake. Ally tossed them in and Phil threw as if he wanted to hurt the lake, mostly because he was scared of it. He didn’t know how to swim.

After lunch, the day always seemed to fly by. Ally disappeared after lunch and Phil would go to the rest of his classes. After school ended, while everyone else went home, Phil would stay and meet with a tutor. She would always explain all of this useless stuff to Phil very slowly and carefully. Phil hated her. He wished she would die. She made him feel dumb.

“And the halogens can only bond with other elements that have one valence electron so that it can be balanced and the…”
Phil didn’t bother to pay attention, it’s not like he could catch up anyways.
“Phil please concentrate. I need you to do this problem. Phil! Phil! Pay attention!”
Phil threw the book on the floor and stormed out of the room and started running down the hallway. Why couldn’t he just finish school at a regular time like the rest of the kids? Why did he have to have special tutoring?

Through the tears welling in his eyes, he could see a girl leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway, leg propped up with her arms crossed. She pushed herself off the wall and stood in front of the door, “Phil, calm down. It’s not your fault you’re stupid.”
“SHUT UP ALLY! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! I DON’T LIKE YOU! YOU’RE MEAN AND I DON’T LIKE YOU! I WISH YOU WOULD JUST DIE!”

And with that Ally had disappeared.
“Ally?” Phil’s voice calmed and quivered. “Ally where are you?” He turned around in circle searching for Ally. She just disappeared, she couldn’t have run, but if she did run then she couldn’t have gotten far. Phil burst through the doors, spring rain blurring his vision.
“ALLY? ALLY? ALLY?” He couldn’t see anything. It was too blurry and dark. Phil was so confused. It shouldn’t be this blurry he thought.
“WHY AM I SO STUPID!!” Phil shrieked before he blacked out.

Phil thought he was in a movie when he opened his eyes in the hospital bed. There were no bright white lights, or majestic doctor leaning over him asking if he’s okay. He was alone in the room.
“Excuse me!” There was panic in his voice. A nurse walked in.
“Yes sir?” He automatically hated the nurse.
“Where is my mom?” Phil wondered whether or not she cared enough to even come.
“She is meeting with your doctor. Can I help you with anything? Are you feeling okay? Is your vision blurry?”
“No. I’m fine. I want my mom” Phil was frustrated and curt.
“Alright just give me five minutes.” The nurse left and Phil punched the bed. He was wondering why Ally wasn’t here. If anybody were to care it would be her, but then again he didn’t know if she would because of the mean things he said to her.
“Ally?” Phil couldn’t stand knowing she wouldn’t come. “Ally are you here? ALLY! ALLY STOP HIDING FORM ME ARRGGGHHHH! ALLLLYYYY” Phil couldn’t stop shrieking. He started thrashing his legs and tried to get up out of his bed but he couldn’t. His waist was strapped down, “ALLLLYYYY” He started ripping at the belt, scratching it and trying to rip it.

The nurse ran in with his mother and the doctor.
“Phil calm down it’s okay, it’s okay” Phil’s mom stroked his head to calm him down but it just made him more mad.
“WHY ISN’T ALLY HERE MOM?”
Phil’s mom’s face went white.
“Honey stop talking about Ally okay, she’s not coming back” Tears welled up in her eyes.
“If it’s starting again we need to increase he dosage again, maybe go back to the medication he started with” The doctor took out a little book of papers and immediately began writing down his prescription. Phil’s mom sat down on his bed and held his hand. “Honey let’s do our exercise again”
“I don’t want to.” Phil was still furious.
“Please Phil, come on.”
“Fine.” He would do anything at this point to get her to stop touching him.
“Alright now who is Ally?”
“Ally is my friend”
“No Phil let’s try it again, who is Ally?”
“Ally is my friend!” Phil was getting worked up again.
“Phil look at me okay! Ally isn’t real!”
Phil burst out into tears.
“But mom, she’s my friend!”
Phil’s mom was full on crying at this point. They just sat together until Phil fell asleep.

When he woke up he was alone. A kindergarten class was touring through the hospital. Phil was listening in on the group standing near the door to his room.
“So that was the maternity ward, and this is where people come who have mental problems. Does anybody know what that means?”
The kids raised their hands, bouncing on their toes, “Ooo, Ooo pick me” The nurse picked a small boy with blonde hair, and missing his two front teeth.
“My brother told me that’s what they call crazy people”
“Some people say that but the correct way to say it is people who have a disorder in their mind.” The boy looked around the room through the door and made eye contact with Phil. Phil frowned.
“What about him?”
“Oh, please do not bother our patients.”
“Well isn’t he crazy?”, the kid kept pestering.
“He isn’t crazy, he has Schizophrenia. Now let’s move on.”
The group left.
Phil heard a chuckle across his bed.
“He’s almost as much of an idiot as you are” Phil heard and he watched Ally walk out of the room and then disappear.