TAMMY
“My counselor told me that I should start writing down whatever I may be feeling. Well, I hope Dr.Collins can put up with a few blunt thoughts because I’ve got a few things to say. Now, and God forgive me for this, but I hate going to church with my nana! From the time I could remember putting together a complete and comprehensive thought, I have HATED going to Greater Ebenezer Missionary Baptist Church with my nana. Imagine if you will, a sanctuary of the most holy, peaceful, forgiving and pure…packed to its limits with some of the most judgmental people you have ever met in your life! I mean these are some of the most venomous freaking people you’ll ever have the displeasure of knowing. And I, Tammy Elizabeth Marquet, the very bain of their existence just for breathing. I mean, the stares and whispers aren’t as bad as when I was younger, but don’t get me wrong they’re still there. So, here me out, it’s Sunday morning and I am ‘casket sharp’ to use my nana’s favorite analogy. You should have seen me really. White Michael Kors blouse with a matching black leather skirt and boots to top off the ensemble, and I even went out of my way to put on a little blush! Dare I say, I actually looked womanly…whatever the hell that means. So, I stride through the doors of Greater Ebenezer Missionary Baptist Church with my dearly beloved yet just as equally and unbelievably judgmental 77 year old grandmother in tow, and I kid you not, eyes start to roll no sooner than I step foot into the aisle! I mean, Jesus you would have thought I walked into the church butt naked! But no, to top it all off, my nana decides to rest her ‘poor swollen feet’ right next to Sister Brenda. Now, and believe me I’m trying to find the right way to word this…exactly how can I put this? Yeah, I wouldn’t piss on fire to put Sister Brenda out. I mean this woman is just Old Testament evil and I swear on everything she’s got to be two days older than dirt! So, we take our seats and as Reverend Baker goes through the usual ‘eternal damnation’ spiel…I notice from my peripheral Sister Brenda lean over to her daughter…as she rifles through her autographed copy of The Bible…and whisper in her ear, ‘Well I’ll be, she done put on a skirt today!’. Well I hate to burst your bubble Brenda, but word on the street is that your husband fancies a nice skirt too! Now, honestly I’ll say it would’ve been a cold day in hell before you ever saw me in anything that showed my legs when I was little. I can still hear my nana screaming from the back porch as I bathed myself in mud pies… ‘Tammy! Tammy! Gal, come in the house and get out of them overalls! You just can’t be wearing them long pants all the time that just ain’t ladylike! I tell ya, she ain’t never gone get her no man dressing like that. You acting just like your brother! Lord have mercy, that child ain’t never gone get her no husband’. Nana probably would have stroked out had I told her that I didn’t necessarily want a husband, but I digress. I mean the point is, people like Sister Brenda and my nana make me want to chew bricks! Honestly, I get so much crap in my classes and the only few weekends I get to come home, I have to get treated like a walking contagion there too? ‘Oh no sweetie, stay away from that mannish woman’. To top it all off, you walk through the doors of the only spiritual home you have ever known, and people look at you as if you’ll be teleported straight to hell. But honestly, for now, I just say screw it. I’m just waiting to transfer to San Francisco State anyway.”