I walked slowly through the park.
Our park.

My feet dragging slowly behind me. A small tear slipped down my face as I sat against a tree.
One of our trees.
How could this happen? What did I do to deserve this?

I watched people walking past me. The ones in a hurry, the couples, the workers, the teenagers on their phones. They all had a purpose. Some reason for them to want to keep on going.

I tore my eyes away from the people on the other side of the park. I looked up at the sky. The moon shone brightly above me. It seemed kind of melancholy though. It’s shine was duller, the faint specks on it had deep meanings. It seemed to say, “Am I as good as the sun?”

I closed my eyes and felt so much at peace, but I couldn’t just stay here, I had to keep going. I stood up and slowly continued on the pathway.
Our pathway.

I looked at everything that was around me. It had been ours, but it was now only mine. The world seemed different, like I was seeing everything in black and white. It was like an old movie we had watched together. But this wasn’t a movie. Sometime or other there will be a sad ending.

A tragic death maybe, or cancer. There is no happy endings, I thought dejectedly as I looked around.

Before, everything seemed to have a purpose, but now I wasn’t so sure.

As I walked slowly away from the park to go back to the house, I felt like I had left a piece of me behind and I felt like probably nothing could fill the void in me.

I walked up to the door and fumbled around in my pocket for the key. I stuck the cold metal into the lock and pulled the door open.

Walking into the huge house was like walking against a heavy wind. I couldn’t bring myself to walk past the foyer.

I probably stood there, staring at the door to the rest of the house for hours, until the big clock on the wall told me it was midnight.

I settled down on the marble floor and fell into a deep sleep.

I woke up on the floor of the house. The cold marble pressed into my skin as I sat up. I sighed and walked towards the door to the rest of the house. Standing in front of it made me feel so small. It loomed over me, big and foreboding.

With a shaking hand I pushed it open and walked into the kitchen. A thousand memories flooded into my mind making my head pound. I pushed forward through the kitchen and into the bedroom. Here it was worse. I fell to my knees, clutching my head, trying to make it all stop. It was too much for me.

I crawled into the next room. The bathroom. I sat on the floor curled up into a little ball. Everything was coming back to me. Everything we had done together. We had accomplished so much, and yet I wished that we had more time. I couldn’t be here, it was a mistake to come back.

I ran through the room and out the front door as fast as I could. I just had to leave.

And here I was, staring down at the churning blue waters below. To most people it might be scary, standing so close to death, but for me I was close to somewhere safe. Soon, I could be with him again. Maybe It’ll be better for us. We could finally be happy.

I looked around at all the people around me. They were all in their own worlds. Taking pictures of the scenery, of each other. They were oblivious to the broken person standing next to them. In a way I was happy for them to just be in their happy little worlds, but there are no happy endings, and it won’t be like that forever. I know.

I took a deep breath and stepped off the bridge into thin air. For a second I felt like I was flying, but then I plummeted down, and let the darkness overtake me.