Deeper and deeper I fall. It doesn’t seem to matter how hard I push upward. My tiny body isn’t budging. I just keep going down. I can faintly hear the sound of the strange men’s voices— the men that made this happen to me. This isn’t supposed to happen to me. I am only sixteen years old, and I still have my whole life to live. There are so many things I have not yet experienced. Why won’t my arms work? Why am I not going towards the surface? I should be floating upwards not down.

One day ago...

Up until now my dad was the best man I knew. He always chose to do the right things. He was always present at my dance recitals and practices. We always got whatever we wanted; Dad had a good job. He even came home and cooked my favorite foods for me whenever he made dinner, but I guess everyone has their secrets, and my dad was no exception. Today I found out that my dad is not an honest man like I thought he was. He has stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars from a company he scammed. They just discovered that the man who caused their company so much distress was my dad, and now my family has to leave town before they come to get us.

I am so angry with him. I love this small cozy town; it is my home. We are supposed to leave town in three days, just enough time for us to pack up our necessities and get out. I decide that I need to get some fresh air, and some time away from my parents. I take off down the sidewalk toward the only place that I could be securely alone; the place where I can think about how it is all going to be turned upside down. I head towards my old tree house; it is rotting and broken-down, but it reminds me of all the memories that I built when I was free and when life was so easy. I needed to be back there. Back to the times when I didn’t have to worry about the future but instead I could just live in the moment.

I am only one block away now. I am so close to being free from the nightmare I am living. I just want it all to go away. As I am trotting along the sidewalk a car is slowing following behind me. I don’t think much of it because the road I am walking along is always busy. It is probably just someone trying to ask for directions. When they pull to the left side of the road, and come to a stop I can see two men sitting in the front two seats of the car and a light shadow of someone who is seated in the rear part of the vehicle. It is a black little Chevy; the man in the driver’s seat called out to me, “Hey come over here. We need some help.” I approach the window of the vehicle expecting to point in a direction and maybe say a few words, but what I am hit with is completely different.

Suddenly I am hit in the eyes with what I assume is pepper spray. I have never used or seen the spray, but the way that my eyes are stinging and burning it is the only weapon I could think of that would have that effect. My eyes are not the only things that are in pain. I can’t see the ropes but I can feel them. The men in the vehicle have tied my two legs and my arms together. I am alone and truly stuck. My whole body is shacking, I didn’t know these men. What did they want from me?

Soon the young and more hairy man starts to ask me questions. He questions me about where I live, who my family is, and where I was going. I scream at the top of my lungs trying to get someone’s attention, but my actions are pointless considering that we are now back in the little car heading down some unknown road, where no one can hear me. I yell and ask the men what they want, where are we going? They skip my questions and start interrogating me some more. They all have to do with my family and where I live, but even more than that a majority of them have to do with my dad. Finally it hits me; the men that attacked me must be the ones who are out for my dad and for my family. They want me to tell them where he is located so they can attack him too. I calmly state, “I know who you are and what you want, but I am not telling you where my dad is.”

The men do not like my response to them. They start to beat me every time I don’t answer one of their pointless questions in attempt to get me to rat out my dad. I know my dad didn’t do the right thing when he scammed these men sitting around me, but he is still my father and he has always been there for me. This time I was going to be there for him. Every few minutes I receive a new scar on my small body from whichever man decided it was his turn. We just keep traveling down this road. Down the road of unknown, so again I ask, “Where are we going?” This time I get a response. The low grumbling voice says, “Unless you start talking, you will be taking your dad’s spot on our hit list as number one.” I don’t say anything but instead of words, tears start to drip from my eyes. I try to hold them in, but the news of my certain death has brought about new emotions that I can’t stop.

They give up on trying to get information. I just sit here tears dried on my face, bruised, and completely numb. I can’t feel anything other than the worry of how I am approaching my almost certain death. In the distance I can see a faint outline of what looks like a body of water. What could they have planned that they need a lake? They didn’t even have a boat. Then I hear the one who is driving whisper, “Are you sure you don’t want to tell us where your dad is?” I couldn’t even find my voice to verbally say no so instead I just bobbed my head up and down in response. I can’t give up my father. They will probably end up killing all of us anyway. We approach the lake faster and faster. All I can think about is my fear of drowning.

We got the edge of the lake and lucky for the dangerous men it is just the four of us there. There is no one in sight. They don’t even need a boat… they just steal the one on the dock and push me into it. They follow me in and we head towards the deeper part of the water. My heart is racing as fast a race horse and I can’t control it. They give me one more chance to save my own life in return for my dad’s, but yet again I refuse. I will do this for him. One of the men reach for the tied rope behind my back and my heart almost jumps for joy, but right after he removes his hands, I feel the shock of the cold water on my skin. I have no chance to say my goodbyes to my family. I struggle in the water, I reach for the surface and I kick with my tied legs as hard as I can. Nothing is working. I then realize that the man did not untie my roped hands, but instead he added weight to them. My life is over as I am drowning further and further into the deepness of nothing. My fear of moving to another place has been replaced by the fear of drowning. I struggle more in the cold water, but there is nothing I can do. I thought I hated my dad for doing this to me, but I could have saved myself in exchange for his. I couldn’t do it. My fears led me to this place and now I can do nothing other than drown into the dark deepness of nothing.