“Steph, you’ll never guess who I saw at the Gas ‘n’ Go yesterday,” said Jaycee.
“Who?” asked Stephanie, slightly out of breath. The two were power-walking through the streets of Oakdale Meadows.
“Kevin Duran.”
“Kevin Duran? No,” Stephanie said in disbelief.
“Yes! I swear, there he was at the Gas ‘n’ Go, filling up his red Bronco. Gosh, I’m surprised that thing still runs.”
“Did he recognize you? Did you say hi?” This was already the most interesting conversation Stephanie and Jaycee had had on their weekly walk throughout the neighborhood, which usually consisted of talk about their kids or husbands, or something mundane as the homes in the housing development they lived in.
“No, I doubt he would have remembered me. I mean we weren’t friends,” said Jaycee.
“Wow. Kevin Duran,” said Stephanie, picking up the pace a bit. Jaycee nudged her.
“What?”
“Oh, c’mon, I know you had the hots for him back then.”
“Maybe I did,” said Stephanie, slightly embarrassed. She drifted from Jaycee, and walked up to her house. Jaycee kept walking.
“Call me!” Jaycee yelled out.
“Yeah, alright.” She waved. Stephanie walked into her house, took off her visor, and got a glass of water. She sat at the kitchen table, sipping her water. It was 11:32. The sun was bright, but not too bright. The marble flooring and countertops glinted in the light, and everything looked very white and clean. Usually Stephanie liked being home alone during the day, but today was different. Everything felt a little too put together so that she felt restless. She glanced out the window. The gardener was in the backyard mowing the lawn of her already well-groomed yard. She looked beyond her backyard to the coveted view of the golf course. She sighed and drank more water. “Jesus,” Stephanie muttered to herself.
She got up and left her glass on the table, and didn’t even think to move it because of the ring it might leave. The walls of the house were lined with mediocre artwork, and pictures of her and her family in matching orange polo shirts and jeans. In her bedroom she took off her matching exercise top and bottoms that flattened any rolls and shaped her body into one she maybe had four years ago. Naked, she stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t amongst the fittest of the housewives in Oakdale Meadows who jogged daily that every male, including Stephanie’s husband, stared at as they drove by. No, she was not that fit, but she was in fairly good shape for having had three children. She turned to the side and sucked in her stomach. It flattened, but when she lost her breath, it returned to its full, puffed state. “Dammit,” she said. She put on a robe and walked into her closet.
Stephanie’s closet was perhaps the messiest place in the entire house and was the only room without a color scheme. Clothes and shoes were scattered on the floor, stored without any sort of arrangement, and boxes were shoved on the top shelf. She reached up for one of the boxes that was labeled “Random”. It was heavier than she expected. She put it on the ground, sat beside it, and began digging through it. Old pictures, jewelry, magazines, and books sat in the box. They were sort of dusty and probably hadn’t been touched in at least seven years, when they moved into this house.
“Cosgrove High School ‘93-’94”. Stephanie pulled out her yearbook which was at the very bottom of the box. She opened it. The first pages were filled with signings scribbled into any space there was. “Remember that time at Chrissy’s? Wild times! Love you, Steph!” was the first she read. She hardly remembered anything that people had written about in their superficial yearbook signings. She flipped through the book, and found herself on a lot of the pages. Aside from being in the pictures for the clubs she was in like the yearbook club and soccer team, she was in a lot of the candid pictures too, one of which they used for the “Best Smile” superlative she was awarded.
She turned to the class photos. “Kevin Duran” she said as she dragged a finger across the pages looking for his picture. “Ah,” she found it. His face was expressionless, his brown hair combed back, and he wore a button down shirt, maybe it was blue, but Stephanie couldn’t tell because of the black and white photograph. He didn’t have a senior quote or any activities listed. In fact, unlike Stephanie, his class photo may have been the only picture of him in the entire yearbook. He looked in the photo just as Stephanie remembered him. Thin but substantial, and comfortable in his own skin, but not in high school. He was one person who Stephanie could safely say did not sign her yearbook.

She got up and put the yearbook in the box, and shoved it back on the top shelf. She showered, napped, cleaned, read Food and Wine, watched Oprah, napped again and waited. She waited for Jeff and the kids to get home so they could eat, have the kids do their homework, make a failed attempt to get Jeff interested in her, go to sleep and wake up to do it all, a day unfulfilled, over again.

She couldn’t help but think of Kevin Duran that day. While she chopped the carrots and rinsed the peas she thought about that day that she saw him behind the field house in his Bronco, smoking. Stephanie was back there because her boyfriend at the time was on the football team and he had forgotten his jacket in her car so she brought it to him. Kevin stared at her as she walked into the field house, and still stared at her when she came out. She parked right next to him, and as she was getting into her car he asked her “Smoke?”. Stephanie just shook her head and quietly said no, despite her mind telling her yes, excited that he had asked her.

The garage door opened which meant that Jeff and the kids were home. The kids stormed in, yelling, having no idea what an appropriate sound level was. “Hey, babe,” said Jeff. He wrapped his arms around Stephanie’s waist and kissed her neck. “What’s cookin’?”

“Beef stew.”

“Again? C’mon babe, can’t you get a little creative?” Jeff reached for the bottle of red wine that Stephanie had put out earlier, and poured them both a glass. She glared at him.

“Sorry,” she said. “It’ll be ready in about five.”

The five of them sat around the table. Kids still screaming, which Jeff conveniently ignored as he checked the sports stats on his phone. Usually Stephanie would try to control them and tell them to settle down, but not tonight. Tonight she was consumed with Jeff. She sat back and sipped on her wine and stared at him. He was so absentminded to the family atmosphere that he didn’t even notice her glaring. In this moment she hated him. His hair was spiked with gel, and his overall appearance could simply be described as sweat. At one point in time Stephanie thought he was the most attractive man she had ever laid eyes on, but oh, how that had changed. Now she couldn’t stand the sight of his sweaty, overweight appearance. Sex with Jeff was the last thing any woman would want, and yet Stephanie still tried night after night, but Jeff didn’t want much to do with her either. Why did she even want to try to sleep with him anymore? If she was not going to be appreciated for her work in the kitchen, or in the PTA, she wanted to be appreciated in the bedroom at least as any woman would.

After the kids had gone to bed, Stephanie and Jeff were both sitting up in bed reading the paper. Stephanie put down her half of the paper and turned towards Jeff. She started rubbing his arm. “What are you doing?”Jeff asked, not even turning away from the paper.

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“Not tonight, babe. I’m totally shot.”

Stephanie immediately turned away from him. “Goodnight,” she said, closed her eyes, and thought of Kevin Duran.

The next morning after she dropped the kids off at school, she went to O’Hanlon’s, the deli she worked at on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She only started working there a few years ago as a favor for her friend Rosalie who owned the place. She liked it because it gave her something to do during the day, and she usually brought something back home for dinner, which meant she didn’t have to cook, and she didn’t have to listen to Jeff’s whines. She worked the counter and took phone orders. The phone rang. “O’Hanlon’s,” Stephanie answered.

“I’d like to place an order for pick up,” said the man on the phone with a deep, velvety voice and a thick Texan accent.

“Alright,” Stephanie reached for a pen and paper. “What can I get you?”

“I’ll take the turkey club, no tomatuh, with chips. Comes with a pickle, right?”

“Um, yep, it comes with a pickle. We’ll have that ready for you in about twenty minutes. Can I get a name for the order?”

“Kevin,” he hung up the phone.

Stephanie gasped. There’s no way it could have been Kevin Duran; that just wouldn’t happen, but she was hopeful that it was actually him. She waited anxiously for him to come pick up his order and stared out the window, keeping an eye out for his red Bronco. She couldn’t remember a time that she was this excited working behind the counter at O’Hanlons. About fifteen minutes after the phone call, she saw a red car out in the distance. It came closer and grew bigger. The red Bronco. There it was. There he was.

The bells on the door jingled when he pushed the door open. “Hi,” said Stephanie immediately. “ How can I help you?”

“Pickin’ up an order for Kevin.” He was taller than she remembered and wore a white t-shirt, jeans, and boots. He looked like he had just been doing some sort of farm work or something laborious. Stephanie remembered that his family owned a large dairy farm in town, but she thought that they had sold it.

“Here you go. It’s $4.75,” she handed him the bag and he got out his wallet. He tipped her fifty-cents. “Hey, uhm, did you go to Cosgrove High, by any chance? You look familiar?”

“Yep, I did, class uh ‘94,” he answered, “I remember you.”

“I’m Stephanie,” she could tell he couldn’t remember her name.

“Stephanie, that’s right. I’m Kevin.”

“Do you still live here in Cosgrove?”

“Just moved back to help out my parents with the old farm. They’re gettin’ ready to sell it. I was livin’ outside of Dallas for a while,” he was rugged and dirty looking.

“Do you maybe want to get coffee or dinner or something sometime?” Stephanie blurted out. She didn’t expect to be so impulsive and bold, but she didn’t want to chicken out of asking him.

“Uh,” he was caught off guard, “Sure, here’s my number,” he wrote his number on the back of the receipt. “I’m available at most times,” he said.

“See ya,” said Stephanie as he walked out the door. She called him the next morning after she dropped the kids off at school. “Hi, uh, Kevin? It’s Stephanie,” she was driving. “I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight? Oh? Okay, great. See you then.” She hung up the phone and grinned. He was going to pick her up at six that night. She called Jaycee. “Jayc, guess what.”

“What?”

“Kevin Duran. I’m going out to dinner with him tonight. He came into the deli yesterday and I kinda asked him out,” explained Stephanie.

“Are you delusional, Steph? What did Jeff say about you going out with some guy from high school?”

“I haven’t told him yet, but calm down Jaycee! I’m not sleeping with him. It’s only dinner,” Stephanie was surprised by Jaycee’s reaction. She thought she’d be excited for her.

“That’s what you say now!”

“Well,” Stephanie honestly had not thought about sleeping with Kevin, but now she kind of wanted to. For all she knew, Jeff wasn’t interested in her because he was sleeping with Karen, his god-awful partner from the office. “Maybe I will, and maybe I won’t. I’ll tell you how it goes.”

“Alright, wild woman,” they hung up the phone.

Stephanie called Jeff next. “Hey, babe,” he answered. “What’s up?”

“I’m gonna need you to stay with the kids tonight and do dinner and everything. I’m going out with an old friend from high school.”

“Alright, babe. I guess I can handle that.”

“Okay, see you later tonight!” she quickly hung up the phone. She was surprised that Jeff didn’t ask her anything about who she was going out with, not that she was trying to make him jealous or anything, but she thought he would have at least found it a little strange that she was doing this.

That afternoon she showered and picked out her outfit for the night. She even blew her hair dry and decided to put on eyeliner, something that she hadn’t done in years because she didn’t like the way it felt on her eyes. But she felt like spicing up her look for tonight and figured what the hell. She wore jeans and a cream colored sweater that revealed the slightest bit of cleavage. She looked in the mirror and felt pretty for the first time in a while, maybe since her and Jeff’s anniversary which was months ago.

It was 6:04. She sat on the edge of her bed, getting up to look out the window every few minutes. She grew anxious that Kevin stood her up, until she heard a car coming down the street. Sure enough, the red Bronco came barreling down the road. She grabbed her purse, took one last look in the mirror, and went out to the car. He looked almost exactly as he did yesterday when he came in to O’Hanlons.

“Hi,” said Stephanie as she buckled her seat belt. Kevin wasn’t wearing his.
“So, where do you wanna go?” he asked.

“Um, we could go to Carraba’s, or Sully’s, or-” Stephanie spoke quickly. She felt nervous.

“How about Sam’s?” Kevin suggested. Sam’s was a divey sports bar that served bad fried food and had peanut shells covering the floor. Stephanie had only been there a few times after high school and throughout college. But she was up for anything tonight.

“Sounds good,” she said. They didn’t talk for the rest of the short drive to Sam’s. Stephanie just looked over at Kevin. She was slightly intimidated by his dirty exterior and frank demeanor. They pulled into Sam’s. It was dark inside, and deep, bluesy music was playing from the jukebox in the corner. It looked the same as it did when Stephanie was there years ago. They sat opposite each other in a corner booth. Kevin ordered a pitcher of beer and a basket of fried pickles.

“So,” said Kevin, picking a peanut out of its shell. “Stephanie Sanders,” he smiled.

“Well, its McGregor now,” she laughed nervously.

“Married?”

“Yep, with three kids.” She sipped from her beer. “What about you?”

“No wife, no kids,” he popped a peanut in his mouth. “Well, I was married.”

“Oh, yeah? What happened? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Ran off with some guy. It’s alright, wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

They both just looked at each other and sipped on their beers, eating the occasional fried pickle. Stephanie didn’t really know what to say now that they were actually out together.

“So why’d you ask me here, Stephanie?” he asked. She was caught off guard by this question, although she should have seen it coming because they never were friends in high school.

“Well, to tell you the truth, I had a bit of a crush on you in high school, and I wanted to see what you were up to.” She matched his bluntness.

“You had a crush on me?”

“Sure did.”

“Well by golly.” He drank from his beer, and it dribbled out the side of his mouth. Like Jeff, Kevin looked sweaty but because of a physical labor, not by nature. Stephanie liked his farm boy, labor workeresque appearance, much different from that of her insurance salesman husband. About a pitcher and a half later, they had loosened up and were laughing, and decided to dance.

Kevin wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close into him, and held her hand. She rested her hand on his shoulder and leaned her head on his chest. They swayed together in the middle of the empty bar room. It was Wednesday. But this was the most alive Stephanie had felt in a long time.

Kevin looked down at Stephanie who looked back at him, their eyes locked with intensity. “You wanna get outta here?” he asked.

“Okay,” she said. They walked out to his car. He opened her door. She grabbed the collar of his white t-shirt and pulled his face to hers. She kissed him, and he kissed her back. They fumbled into the car, Kevin on top of Stephanie, kissing her with more passion than Jeff ever had. Stephanie ran her hands down the sides of his torso and down his back. He was muscular and built, and had one hand on her face, the other on her breast.

Kevin unbuckled his belt. “Wait,” Stephanie said. She pushed him off of her and jolted up, her sweater shifted, exposing her breasts. “I can’t.” Kevin leaned his head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said. She felt overwhelmed with emotions she didn’t expect to feel, and felt a lump forming in her throat. Her stomach turned from the beer.

“Its okay,” Kevin rubbed her back, “I understand.”

“I just wanted to feel something, you know? I just, I, I don’t know what I want.” She began to tear up. “Will you take me home?”

“Sure, Steph.”

Although she knew there was a possibility she would sleep with him that night, she didn’t expect herself to want to. She had become so good at suppressing her feelings that she thought she would just ignore her urge and desire to do anything with Kevin. She scared herself because she didn’t ignore them this time.

They pulled into her driveway. “Don’t sweat it, Steph,” he reached out his arms to hug her, “It was really good to see you.” She got out of the car, waved, and stood as the red Bronco drove away.

“Hey, babe,” Jeff was sitting at the kitchen table returning some emails. “Missed you tonight.” She walked over and hugged him. “You okay?” he asked, noticing she had been crying.

“Fine. I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Love you, babe. I’ll be in soon.”

“Okay, love you too,” Stephanie said as she walked to the bedroom. She curled into bed and thought about her day tomorrow. She smiled, knowing that tomorrow would be just like the rest, and for once, that comforted her. Jeff crawled in to bed and laid next to her.

“You sure you’re alright?”

“Fine,” she rested her palm on his face.

“Well, I love you, Steph.”

“I love you too.”








Mirabelle Wostrel-Rubin
Short story
3/4/14
Beef Stew Again?
“Steph, you’ll never guess who I saw at the Gas ‘n’ Go yesterday,” said Jaycee.
“Who?” asked Stephanie, slightly out of breath. The two were power-walking through the streets of Oakdale Meadows.
“Kevin Duran.”
“Kevin Duran? No,” Stephanie said in disbelief.
“Yes! I swear, there he was at the Gas ‘n’ Go, filling up his red Bronco. Gosh, I’m surprised that thing still runs.”
“Did he recognize you? Did you say hi?” This was already the most interesting conversation Stephanie and Jaycee had had on their weekly walk throughout the neighborhood, which usually consisted of talk about their kids or husbands, or something mundane as the homes in the housing development they lived in.
“No, I doubt he would have remembered me. I mean we weren’t friends,” said Jaycee.
“Wow. Kevin Duran,” said Stephanie, picking up the pace a bit. Jaycee nudged her.
“What?”
“Oh, c’mon, I know you had the hots for him back then.”
“Maybe I did,” said Stephanie, slightly embarrassed. She drifted from Jaycee, and walked up to her house. Jaycee kept walking.
“Call me!” Jaycee yelled out.
“Yeah, alright.” She waved. Stephanie walked into her house, took off her visor, and got a glass of water. She sat at the kitchen table, sipping her water. It was 11:32. The sun was bright, but not too bright. The marble flooring and countertops glinted in the light, and everything looked very white and clean. Usually Stephanie liked being home alone during the day, but today was different. Everything felt a little too put together so that she felt restless. She glanced out the window. The gardener was in the backyard mowing the lawn of her already well-groomed yard. She looked beyond her backyard to the coveted view of the golf course. She sighed and drank more water. “Jesus,” Stephanie muttered to herself.
She got up and left her glass on the table, and didn’t even think to move it because of the ring it might leave. The walls of the house were lined with mediocre artwork, and pictures of her and her family in matching orange polo shirts and jeans. In her bedroom she took off her matching exercise top and bottoms that flattened any rolls and shaped her body into one she maybe had four years ago. Naked, she stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t amongst the fittest of the housewives in Oakdale Meadows who jogged daily that every male, including Stephanie’s husband, stared at as they drove by. No, she was not that fit, but she was in fairly good shape for having had three children. She turned to the side and sucked in her stomach. It flattened, but when she lost her breath, it returned to its full, puffed state. “Dammit,” she said. She put on a robe and walked into her closet.
Stephanie’s closet was perhaps the messiest place in the entire house and was the only room without a color scheme. Clothes and shoes were scattered on the floor, stored without any sort of arrangement, and boxes were shoved on the top shelf. She reached up for one of the boxes that was labeled “Random”. It was heavier than she expected. She put it on the ground, sat beside it, and began digging through it. Old pictures, jewelry, magazines, and books sat in the box. They were sort of dusty and probably hadn’t been touched in at least seven years, when they moved into this house.
“Cosgrove High School ‘93-’94”. Stephanie pulled out her yearbook which was at the very bottom of the box. She opened it. The first pages were filled with signings scribbled into any space there was. “Remember that time at Chrissy’s? Wild times! Love you, Steph!” was the first she read. She hardly remembered anything that people had written about in their superficial yearbook signings. She flipped through the book, and found herself on a lot of the pages. Aside from being in the pictures for the clubs she was in like the yearbook club and soccer team, she was in a lot of the candid pictures too, one of which they used for the “Best Smile” superlative she was awarded.
She turned to the class photos. “Kevin Duran” she said as she dragged a finger across the pages looking for his picture. “Ah,” she found it. His face was expressionless, his brown hair combed back, and he wore a button down shirt, maybe it was blue, but Stephanie couldn’t tell because of the black and white photograph. He didn’t have a senior quote or any activities listed. In fact, unlike Stephanie, his class photo may have been the only picture of him in the entire yearbook. He looked in the photo just as Stephanie remembered him. Thin but substantial, and comfortable in his own skin, but not in high school. He was one person who Stephanie could safely say did not sign her yearbook.

She got up and put the yearbook in the box, and shoved it back on the top shelf. She showered, napped, cleaned, read Food and Wine, watched Oprah, napped again and waited. She waited for Jeff and the kids to get home so they could eat, have the kids do their homework, make a failed attempt to get Jeff interested in her, go to sleep and wake up to do it all, a day unfulfilled, over again.

She couldn’t help but think of Kevin Duran that day. While she chopped the carrots and rinsed the peas she thought about that day that she saw him behind the field house in his Bronco, smoking. Stephanie was back there because her boyfriend at the time was on the football team and he had forgotten his jacket in her car so she brought it to him. Kevin stared at her as she walked into the field house, and still stared at her when she came out. She parked right next to him, and as she was getting into her car he asked her “Smoke?”. Stephanie just shook her head and quietly said no, despite her mind telling her yes, excited that he had asked her.

The garage door opened which meant that Jeff and the kids were home. The kids stormed in, yelling, having no idea what an appropriate sound level was. “Hey, babe,” said Jeff. He wrapped his arms around Stephanie’s waist and kissed her neck. “What’s cookin’?”

“Beef stew.”

“Again? C’mon babe, can’t you get a little creative?” Jeff reached for the bottle of red wine that Stephanie had put out earlier, and poured them both a glass. She glared at him.

“Sorry,” she said. “It’ll be ready in about five.”

The five of them sat around the table. Kids still screaming, which Jeff conveniently ignored as he checked the sports stats on his phone. Usually Stephanie would try to control them and tell them to settle down, but not tonight. Tonight she was consumed with Jeff. She sat back and sipped on her wine and stared at him. He was so absentminded to the family atmosphere that he didn’t even notice her glaring. In this moment she hated him. His hair was spiked with gel, and his overall appearance could simply be described as sweat. At one point in time Stephanie thought he was the most attractive man she had ever laid eyes on, but oh, how that had changed. Now she couldn’t stand the sight of his sweaty, overweight appearance. Sex with Jeff was the last thing any woman would want, and yet Stephanie still tried night after night, but Jeff didn’t want much to do with her either. Why did she even want to try to sleep with him anymore? If she was not going to be appreciated for her work in the kitchen, or in the PTA, she wanted to be appreciated in the bedroom at least as any woman would.

After the kids had gone to bed, Stephanie and Jeff were both sitting up in bed reading the paper. Stephanie put down her half of the paper and turned towards Jeff. She started rubbing his arm. “What are you doing?”Jeff asked, not even turning away from the paper.

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“Not tonight, babe. I’m totally shot.”

Stephanie immediately turned away from him. “Goodnight,” she said, closed her eyes, and thought of Kevin Duran.

The next morning after she dropped the kids off at school, she went to O’Hanlon’s, the deli she worked at on Tuesdays and Thursdays. She only started working there a few years ago as a favor for her friend Rosalie who owned the place. She liked it because it gave her something to do during the day, and she usually brought something back home for dinner, which meant she didn’t have to cook, and she didn’t have to listen to Jeff’s whines. She worked the counter and took phone orders. The phone rang. “O’Hanlon’s,” Stephanie answered.

“I’d like to place an order for pick up,” said the man on the phone with a deep, velvety voice and a thick Texan accent.

“Alright,” Stephanie reached for a pen and paper. “What can I get you?”

“I’ll take the turkey club, no tomatuh, with chips. Comes with a pickle, right?”

“Um, yep, it comes with a pickle. We’ll have that ready for you in about twenty minutes. Can I get a name for the order?”

“Kevin,” he hung up the phone.

Stephanie gasped. There’s no way it could have been Kevin Duran; that just wouldn’t happen, but she was hopeful that it was actually him. She waited anxiously for him to come pick up his order and stared out the window, keeping an eye out for his red Bronco. She couldn’t remember a time that she was this excited working behind the counter at O’Hanlons. About fifteen minutes after the phone call, she saw a red car out in the distance. It came closer and grew bigger. The red Bronco. There it was. There he was.

The bells on the door jingled when he pushed the door open. “Hi,” said Stephanie immediately. “ How can I help you?”

“Pickin’ up an order for Kevin.” He was taller than she remembered and wore a white t-shirt, jeans, and boots. He looked like he had just been doing some sort of farm work or something laborious. Stephanie remembered that his family owned a large dairy farm in town, but she thought that they had sold it.

“Here you go. It’s $4.75,” she handed him the bag and he got out his wallet. He tipped her fifty-cents. “Hey, uhm, did you go to Cosgrove High, by any chance? You look familiar?”

“Yep, I did, class uh ‘94,” he answered, “I remember you.”

“I’m Stephanie,” she could tell he couldn’t remember her name.

“Stephanie, that’s right. I’m Kevin.”

“Do you still live here in Cosgrove?”

“Just moved back to help out my parents with the old farm. They’re gettin’ ready to sell it. I was livin’ outside of Dallas for a while,” he was rugged and dirty looking.

“Do you maybe want to get coffee or dinner or something sometime?” Stephanie blurted out. She didn’t expect to be so impulsive and bold, but she didn’t want to chicken out of asking him.

“Uh,” he was caught off guard, “Sure, here’s my number,” he wrote his number on the back of the receipt. “I’m available at most times,” he said.

“See ya,” said Stephanie as he walked out the door. She called him the next morning after she dropped the kids off at school. “Hi, uh, Kevin? It’s Stephanie,” she was driving. “I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner tonight? Oh? Okay, great. See you then.” She hung up the phone and grinned. He was going to pick her up at six that night. She called Jaycee. “Jayc, guess what.”

“What?”

“Kevin Duran. I’m going out to dinner with him tonight. He came into the deli yesterday and I kinda asked him out,” explained Stephanie.

“Are you delusional, Steph? What did Jeff say about you going out with some guy from high school?”

“I haven’t told him yet, but calm down Jaycee! I’m not sleeping with him. It’s only dinner,” Stephanie was surprised by Jaycee’s reaction. She thought she’d be excited for her.

“That’s what you say now!”

“Well,” Stephanie honestly had not thought about sleeping with Kevin, but now she kind of wanted to. For all she knew, Jeff wasn’t interested in her because he was sleeping with Karen, his god-awful partner from the office. “Maybe I will, and maybe I won’t. I’ll tell you how it goes.”

“Alright, wild woman,” they hung up the phone.

Stephanie called Jeff next. “Hey, babe,” he answered. “What’s up?”

“I’m gonna need you to stay with the kids tonight and do dinner and everything. I’m going out with an old friend from high school.”

“Alright, babe. I guess I can handle that.”

“Okay, see you later tonight!” she quickly hung up the phone. She was surprised that Jeff didn’t ask her anything about who she was going out with, not that she was trying to make him jealous or anything, but she thought he would have at least found it a little strange that she was doing this.

That afternoon she showered and picked out her outfit for the night. She even blew her hair dry and decided to put on eyeliner, something that she hadn’t done in years because she didn’t like the way it felt on her eyes. But she felt like spicing up her look for tonight and figured what the hell. She wore jeans and a cream colored sweater that revealed the slightest bit of cleavage. She looked in the mirror and felt pretty for the first time in a while, maybe since her and Jeff’s anniversary which was months ago.

It was 6:04. She sat on the edge of her bed, getting up to look out the window every few minutes. She grew anxious that Kevin stood her up, until she heard a car coming down the street. Sure enough, the red Bronco came barreling down the road. She grabbed her purse, took one last look in the mirror, and went out to the car. He looked almost exactly as he did yesterday when he came in to O’Hanlons.

“Hi,” said Stephanie as she buckled her seat belt. Kevin wasn’t wearing his.
“So, where do you wanna go?” he asked.

“Um, we could go to Carraba’s, or Sully’s, or-” Stephanie spoke quickly. She felt nervous.

“How about Sam’s?” Kevin suggested. Sam’s was a divey sports bar that served bad fried food and had peanut shells covering the floor. Stephanie had only been there a few times after high school and throughout college. But she was up for anything tonight.

“Sounds good,” she said. They didn’t talk for the rest of the short drive to Sam’s. Stephanie just looked over at Kevin. She was slightly intimidated by his dirty exterior and frank demeanor. They pulled into Sam’s. It was dark inside, and deep, bluesy music was playing from the jukebox in the corner. It looked the same as it did when Stephanie was there years ago. They sat opposite each other in a corner booth. Kevin ordered a pitcher of beer and a basket of fried pickles.

“So,” said Kevin, picking a peanut out of its shell. “Stephanie Sanders,” he smiled.

“Well, its McGregor now,” she laughed nervously.

“Married?”

“Yep, with three kids.” She sipped from her beer. “What about you?”

“No wife, no kids,” he popped a peanut in his mouth. “Well, I was married.”

“Oh, yeah? What happened? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Ran off with some guy. It’s alright, wouldn’t have worked anyway.”

They both just looked at each other and sipped on their beers, eating the occasional fried pickle. Stephanie didn’t really know what to say now that they were actually out together.

“So why’d you ask me here, Stephanie?” he asked. She was caught off guard by this question, although she should have seen it coming because they never were friends in high school.

“Well, to tell you the truth, I had a bit of a crush on you in high school, and I wanted to see what you were up to.” She matched his bluntness.

“You had a crush on me?”

“Sure did.”

“Well by golly.” He drank from his beer, and it dribbled out the side of his mouth. Like Jeff, Kevin looked sweaty but because of a physical labor, not by nature. Stephanie liked his farm boy, labor workeresque appearance, much different from that of her insurance salesman husband. About a pitcher and a half later, they had loosened up and were laughing, and decided to dance.

Kevin wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close into him, and held her hand. She rested her hand on his shoulder and leaned her head on his chest. They swayed together in the middle of the empty bar room. It was Wednesday. But this was the most alive Stephanie had felt in a long time.

Kevin looked down at Stephanie who looked back at him, their eyes locked with intensity. “You wanna get outta here?” he asked.

“Okay,” she said. They walked out to his car. He opened her door. She grabbed the collar of his white t-shirt and pulled his face to hers. She kissed him, and he kissed her back. They fumbled into the car, Kevin on top of Stephanie, kissing her with more passion than Jeff ever had. Stephanie ran her hands down the sides of his torso and down his back. He was muscular and built, and had one hand on her face, the other on her breast.

Kevin unbuckled his belt. “Wait,” Stephanie said. She pushed him off of her and jolted up, her sweater shifted, exposing her breasts. “I can’t.” Kevin leaned his head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she said. She felt overwhelmed with emotions she didn’t expect to feel, and felt a lump forming in her throat. Her stomach turned from the beer.

“Its okay,” Kevin rubbed her back, “I understand.”

“I just wanted to feel something, you know? I just, I, I don’t know what I want.” She began to tear up. “Will you take me home?”

“Sure, Steph.”

Although she knew there was a possibility she would sleep with him that night, she didn’t expect herself to want to. She had become so good at suppressing her feelings that she thought she would just ignore her urge and desire to do anything with Kevin. She scared herself because she didn’t ignore them this time.

They pulled into her driveway. “Don’t sweat it, Steph,” he reached out his arms to hug her, “It was really good to see you.” She got out of the car, waved, and stood as the red Bronco drove away.

“Hey, babe,” Jeff was sitting at the kitchen table returning some emails. “Missed you tonight.” She walked over and hugged him. “You okay?” he asked, noticing she had been crying.

“Fine. I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Love you, babe. I’ll be in soon.”

“Okay, love you too,” Stephanie said as she walked to the bedroom. She curled into bed and thought about her day tomorrow. She smiled, knowing that tomorrow would be just like the rest, and for once, that comforted her. Jeff crawled in to bed and laid next to her.

“You sure you’re alright?”

“Fine,” she rested her palm on his face.

“Well, I love you, Steph.”

“I love you too.”