School used to be fun for me. I would wake up, get ready, and then go meet my friends outside the gym. What made it even better was we had managed to have four classes together. Who wouldn’t want classes with their friends right? Well you wouldn’t if those friends stabbed you in the back big time. These four people used to be my best friends. We have known each other since grade school, and we have hung out every weekend since we first met. These guys have seen me at my very best and at my worst, but they have never seen me completely break down. Today, they get to witness me breakdown for the eighteenth time. And you know why, because they made me breakdown. They started it eighteen days ago and refuse to grow up and let it go.

I don’t know why this happened. “Why did it happen to me? Why would they do this to me?” I mumbled to myself. Rolling over I noticed the time and decided I should start getting ready. I’ve already been late three times this week, and cannot afford a fourth. Even though I’m going to risk being embarrassed even more. No one could even begin to understand how betrayed I feel. I can’t even look them in the face anymore.

Sunday night--eighteen days ago--I was walking into the movie theater with four of my friends. Joshua Miller and Angie Taylor were two of them. They are probably the cutest couple at school. The best word to describe them both is silly, just silly. They’re always dancing or running after each other. Charlie Shaffer is the third person accompanying us tonight. She is my best friend, my sister, my rock since day one. I do not even consider her as my cousin anymore. We have been way closer than cousins ever get. She means the world to me. The fourth person in this quintet is Michael Hulbert. He just transferred to Barrington High School, and we took him in. So even though Michael has not known us very long at all he still felt the need to join in on their fun to humiliate me.

Monday morning when my dad dropped me off at school I shuffled down the steps and walked to the gym. None of my friends were there. So I walked back inside and up the steps to find them. When I reached the top of the steps I noticed that a few people were pointing at me. Then a few more and eventually everyone in school came to gawk. I kept walking with a raised eyebrow wondering why they would be pointing at me. Then I saw why. There was an oversized poster with my fourth grade yearbook picture plastered on it. That had to be the worst picture anyone could have taken. My eyes were going separate ways, my hair was complete chaos, and that was of course the year I had head gear. And down at the very bottom of that poster was “-the quintet” which is what we called ourselves. I couldn’t believe it. Why would they even do this? Everything was alright at the movies. I’ve never done anything to them. Not once have I told a secret or went behind them. So why were they doing it to me now. Confusion and frustration took over and I trudged back outside and to my first period. I hoped nothing would happen there.

Thank god our teacher had a lot of busy work for us, and she took the whole no talking thing strictly so I knew I would be fine. Mrs. Row had a lot of strengths, but eyesight was not one of them. I got a text shortly after the tardy bell rang saying “Nice face gear James,” then another one saying, “What a nerd.” I was going to text back telling them to shut it, but then I heard my name.

“Elizabeth,” Mrs. Row said.

“Yes, Mrs. Row?”
“Put the phone away please.”
Of course I was the one who got caught. I turned my phone off and went back to work. Could this day get any worse? I thought to myself. Yes, yes it could. During lunch we get our food wrapped in aluminum foil. Just take a guess at what happened. Yep, they made their foil into headgear. Just my luck today. Of course Principal Walsh made them take it off, but that didn’t help much. They still did it during classes or would Snapchat pictures to me. The rest of my day never brightened up. I got mocked every period and on the bus ride home. Luckily I go home to an empty house; being an only child has its perks. That night I stayed up trying to figure out why they would do this, and I debated whether I wanted to even go to school tomorrow. Could I handle the humiliation again? Somewhere in my self talk, sleep finally caught up with me.

I didn’t want to go back, but I forced myself. I had to show them that I was stronger than they thought I was. I had to show them that they were not getting to me. I arrived to more mockers, although it had died down a bit since yesterday, I wasn’t going to let my guard down in case something else popped up. As I opened my locker a piece of folded paper fell out. I grabbed my morning books then sat down to read the paper. I expected a paragraph or at least a few sentences but all there was, was five little words. Do you remember me yet?
Who was it that I needed to remember? I asked myself.

I wanted to show someone, but who could I show? My parents would not know anything. My “friends” might but I cannot ask them now can I? Stuffing the note in my backpack I got up and carried on with my day.

Wednesday came and I thought all the bullying was over, I was wrong. Everyone was passing around multiple phones. Each one containing a different screen full of different words. Those phones showed all of my secrets. One of the four of my ex-friends had posted all of my secrets. The last thing I would have ever expected from them, especially Charlie. We had pinky promised, gave the girl scout code, and made each other eat a concoction of things before we exchanged secrets, but here we were with mine spreading like wild fire. I couldn’t believe it.
Pushing through the herd of people I made my way to my locker. Again another note fell out. It contained a picture of a small boy about seven years old. Red hair, glasses, and freckles all over his nose. He was wearing a baseball uniform and in a hitting position to complete the look. I recognized him, but from where? I scanned the picture for what seemed like hours then it came to me. It was John Nichol. I turned the picture over and in cursive it read, How about now? Our moms were best friends when we were little so we were always together. As I thought about it, John doesn’t even go to our school. I have not seen him since we were seven, how was he getting these notes to me?

“Aww, you have a crush on Kenny. How sweet,” a girl said as she walked by.

“Why can’t you guys just stop?” I yelled.

“Cause it’s funny!” some guy yelled back

Wow, that’s the response I was looking for. I should just convince my parents to let me transfer schools. I don’t care if they think they’ve won, I just want my life back. Instead of pushing through the day like I’ve been doing, I just decided to go home. I wasn’t going to put up with this anymore. Old school photo? Fine, but all the secrets I’ve had stored away my entire life draws the line.

“Hey Liz wait up,” Michael called.

“What do you want. Haven’t you done enough already?” I responded.

“Just hear me out OK?”

I sighed. “Fine.”

“Look, I never wanted to hurt you. I barely know you.” His shoulders dropped. “They made me do it. They said if I didn’t help them then they would ruin me too. I know it was a stupid decision. I should have gone down with you.” Why was he just now telling me this? “I know you probably won’t forgive me, I wouldn’t, but just keep in mind that you can come to me…” he grinned and held his arms out like it was all good.

Should I forgive him? I thought to myself. He looked sincere. maybe he was telling the truth, but I didn’t want to trust him, not yet. I needed to hear more


“Go on,” I said.

“OK. Well after we dropped you off Sunday night, Angie was talking about playing a prank on you. She said her and Joseph would take care of it as long as we all went along with it. I thought it was just going to be something small like a fake phone call or something.” He sat down on the sidewalk and laid his head in his hands. “When I got to school Monday morning I saw the picture. You have to believe me when I say I didn't know this was the prank.”

What was I supposed to think? I wanted to believe him, but a part of me said not to. If he really was telling the truth then I don’t know. I had to hear it all though. I needed to know why.

“Michael, I don’t know what or who to believe right now. Just.. just keep going.”

“I started looking for them as soon as I saw it. When I found Charlie I asked her if she knew that this was the prank. She said that she knew and that I had to keep my mouth shut. I asked her if this was a little too harsh, but she just snapped at me. Said I better keep my mouth shut unless I wanted something to happen to me too.” I released a breath of air I did not know I had been holding. I had been holding. He looked up with glossy green eyes, like he was on the edge of crying. “Please Elizabeth, please believe me. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“I need some time to think, Michael. I’ll find you if I need anything, okay?”

He pushed himself off the ground and kept growing. I had forgotten how tall he was. He took two steps towards me offering a hug, I was almost going to accept, but pulled away at the last second. It was too much right now especially after hearing his side of the story. I watched him as he spun on his heel and started walking back towards the school. I turned the opposite way towards my house. Some time alone was my best option right now. Especially when I don’t know if I want to believe him or not yet. For all I know he could just be trying to get more stuff out of me.
I wasn’t surprised when my mom gave me “the look” as I walked through the door. She looked angry, but I guess she knew I needed some space because she didn’t ask what was wrong just went back to cleaning windows. What am I going to do now?
“Hey, Mom,” I yelled over the vacuum. I heard it slowly die before she walked in my room.
“Yes Liz?”
“Do you still have John’s number?”

“I think so,”
“OK. I was thinking of catching up. It’s been a while,”
“That sounds great. Let me go find it for you,” she said as she walked out of the room. She sounded excited that I wanted to talk to him.
That afternoon I called John. He was pleased to hear from me. He probably expected me to call since I got his notes. I guess he was trying to catch up too. We had made plans to hang out this weekend. I wonder how much he has changed.

The weekend finally came. I was pacing my room trying to figure out what to wear. I wasn't meeting John until six o’clock. I cannot decide what to wear. What do you wear when you meet up with someone you have not seen for years? Do I go cute and classy or fun and sporty? I still needed to decide if Michael was telling the truth or not. I’ve been avoiding him ever since he told me. What would you do if your friends bullied you then one came back begging for forgiveness?

When the time finally came I had my mom drive me to the movie theater. I have to admit, I was nervous. I would have much rather liked to go to the park or something, but no he just had to say the movies. He didn’t even tell which movie we were going to see. We pulled into the parking lot and I spotted John leaning against the cement wall of the theater. Arms crossed with his hair swept to one side.
“Be careful and have fun,” my mom said as I slid out of the passenger side seat.
“I will, bye love you,” I replied before shutting the door.

I walked up to John and we headed towards the single glass door. He paid for the tickets while I went through the line to get us popcorn and drinks.

“Theater two,” he said as he grabbed his drink and the popcorn.

We walked in through the heavy wood doors and down the red carpet. I noticed a lot of people from school were here to watch the movie also. I guess it was a pretty popular movie, if only he would tell me what it was called. All I got out of him was ‘It’s a surprise.’ Finally finding two open seats we settled our stuff in the little holders and sat down for the previews. I watched as the lights dimmed, swallowing us in the dark. The movie started by showing us the grass blowing in the wind followed by a girl on a tire swing. The world turned as the camera man walked around to show the girls face. My heart stopped when the girl looked up. It was me. They were playing a short film I had made when I was about nine. I couldn't believe it, I thought all of this was over when they spread my secrets.
“You knew about this didn't you?” I asked John.

“Of course I knew. I set it up,” he replied.

Him of all people. I have not seen him in about eight years and this is how he acts.

Why is everyone doing this to me? I thought.

I stormed down the side steps and out into the bathroom. I didn't know what to do now. I didn't know who to turn to. I wanted to end it right then, right there. Standing at the sink looking blankly into the mirror I did not see a point in even living. My friends turned against me, even John.

“Why would he want to hang out then do this?” I muttered. “Why were any of them doing this? What did I even do?”

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, Charlie walked in. What did she want now?

“Hey can you come with me please?” she whispered.

“Why should I?”

“Please, I’m not going to hurt you I just want to show you something.”

“I guess. Nothing could get much worse than this.”

I walked out into the hallway with her and followed her around the wall and up the steps. I didn't know where they led to, but I am guessing the filming booths. We took another right and entered a black door that read ‘Theater 2’. As I walked inside I saw Michael sitting in the only chair there. What was he doing here?

He looked right at me and said, “Did you figure it all out yet, James?”

“Actually no I haven’t.” I replied

“Well I’m pretty tired right now so I’m just going to cut this whole explaining thing short. I did it. I turned your friends against you. I was never your friend, I only have one friend, your date for tonight. We met about a month before I transferred.” John is his friend? “Those notes you found in your locker. Yeah, I put them there. John and I knew you would want to catch up with him. It took a little longer than expected to get you here, but every great plan takes a little time.”

“Why would you do this? Turn my friends against me and ruin my life? Why would John want to do it?” I asked.

“Simple, we were bored.”

I took two simple small steps and punched Michael in the face. Blood immediately flowed out of his nose. I hope I broke it.

“Come on. Lets take you home. You've been through a lot.” Charlie said as she put her arm around me. I shrugged away and started walking; it was too soon for this.