We stepped off of the train and right in front of me there was a lady in a big fur coat, and she was carrying a little puppy in her arms and it was so cute and I wanted to cuddle and pet it so badly. It had big brown eyes and its fur looked super soft. I reached out my hand to touch the doggie, but the lady was already on the train and the doors closed and I couldn’t pet him. But I know he saw me because he barked hello and goodbye at me through the doors. Daddy grabbed my hand and we walked down the steps.
“Daddy, how far away is the museum?”
“Just a few blocks and then we’ll be there.” Daddy smiled at me and squeezed my hand. “Are you excited to see the Egyptians?”
“Oh yeah I am. I want to see the hieroglyphs and stuff.” I rubbed my runny nose with my sleeve. “Why did we take the train?”
“Mommy has the car for the weekend, remember?”
“She’s gonna go see Grandpa, right?”
“Right. She’s going to Grandpa’s house.”
“And then she’s gonna come back on Monday, right?”
“Yup, she’s coming back Monday morning.”
“And she’s bringing Grandpa back, right?”
“No, she’s not going to bring Grandpa back with her.”
When we were crossing the street an angry car honked its horn at us. I slapped my hands onto my ears and shut my eyes as tight as I could. Daddy pulled me by the hand and walked me over to a bench on the sidewalk. It was too cold, but Daddy sat down anyway, so I stood in front of him. I started to cry, deep down from my tummy, like I do when Mommy gets angry. People were probably looking at me funny and I wanted to tell them to stop but I couldn’t get my words out.
“What’s wrong?” asked Daddy.
“Wh-why—” I gulped. “Why did he—” tears stuck inside my throat. “Honk at us?”
“He wasn’t honking at us,” said Daddy.
“Then, then why was he honking?”
“You know, sometimes cars honk to tell each other things. Maybe the man in the car was late for something and was asking someone to move a little faster.”
“But how—but how did the other car know he wasn’t angry?”
“Well, it’s kinda like a language. If I was driving and wanted to tell someone that I was right behind them, I would let out a little beep to say ‘I’m here!’”
“What else do cars say to each other?”
“Sometimes, let’s see—sometimes they’ll do a toot to tell another car that the light’s turned green.”
Daddy was so funny. “A toot?”
“Yeah, or a honk or a beep.”
I was so excited to have my own car that would speak car language and honk and toot and beep at all the other cars. “Can we go to the museum now?” I said.
We got up from the bench and started walking down the street. I looked at the bricks in the sidewalk and tried not to step on any of the cracks. Your mom’s back breaks when you step on the cracks.
“Did Grandpa really go to see the pyramids?”
“Yeah, he did, a long long time ago.”
“Did he see the mummies too?”
Daddy laughed. “I don’t think he made it to the mummies.”
We walked past two kids and a mommy and daddy. The kids were laughing and pulling on the daddy’s sleeves and the mommy and daddy were holding hands. Everyone was smiling.
“Are we gonna see Grandpa at Christmas?” I waited for Daddy to answer. “Are we?”
“I don’t know if Grandpa’s going to make it to see us,” he said. “This year.”
“Oh,” I said. “We still have to play dominoes, even if Grandpa stays home. And have hot chocolate. Will you put marshmallows in mine if I win? Like Grandpa does?”
“We’ll see,” said Daddy.
* * *
I looked down at the sidewalk and at my Batman sneakers. I scratched my leg. It was real itchy. Mommy touched my shoulder. “Stop fidgeting buddy.” I stopped moving. Kids were running around all across the playground, and sometimes they would run into each other and fall down and one of them would start crying. I didn’t want to do that at all. I sat in the sandbox and played with the sand. It was cold and scratched my hands in a funny way.
“Brian, who do you want to invite to your birthday party?” asked Mommy.
“Um, Grandpa, and—” I counted one person on my fingers.
“Who else?” said Mommy, her pencil floating over a piece of paper.
“Do I need to have a birthday party Mommy?”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well—it’s just that—”
“Hmm?”
“I just want Grandpa to come.” I looked down at my sneakers and Batman stared right back at me.
“Honey, Grandpa lives very far away—”
“But he comes every year. And you went to see him, and you didn’t take me with you.”
“Mommy had to go by herself. Plus, you got to spend a lot of time with Daddy while I was away. You wouldn’t be able to do that if you had to go see Grandpa.”
“Yeah,” I said. “But I wanna see him really bad.”
“Grandpa—he just can’t come this year.”
“Why not?”
“It’s just not going to work out. Is there anyone else you’d like to have at your party?”
“I—no, there’s not.”
“But Brian, just think of how much fun you could have with all your friends,” she said. She smiled at me really big.
“Well…”
“We’ll think about it, but I’m sure you’ll decide that it’s a good idea, right?” Mommy opened her arms up.
I walked over to where she sat on the bench and crawled onto her lap. “I guess.”
* * *
“Come on Brian, we’re about to cut the cake.” Daddy stuck his head in my room. I could hear the kids and grown-ups talking in the living room.
“I’m—I’m just gonna stay here.” I looked for a yellow Lego piece in the big pile on the floor.
“Are you sure? It’s your favorite kind of cake.”
“No, I’m just gonna build this.”
Daddy walked in and sat down on the floor next to me. “Are you okay bud?”
I found the yellow piece. Now I needed a green one.
“Bud?”
“Let me just find this green piece.”
“Here, I’ll look for it with you.” He started moving the pieces in the pile.
I pushed his hand away. “I don’t want any help Daddy. I need to do it.” I rubbed my eyes with my arm.
“Okay. Do you mind if I stay in here?” Daddy put his hand on my back and rubbed in circles.
“No.”
The door opened, and Mommy walked in. “What are you two doing? We’re about to cut the cake.” She had green frosting on her sweater.
“Brian’s building his present for Grandpa.”
I took a long skinny green piece and stuck it to Grandpa’s present. I looked up at Mommy. She put her hands on her hips and looked at Daddy.
“James, we have fifteen kids in the other room and they all want to eat cake.”
“Brian’s just going to finish up his present.” He stopped rubbing my back and looked at Mommy. “You have frosting on your shirt.”
Mommy looked down at herself. “I do, do I? Let me go fix that. You know what? I’ll just go and fix everything real quick. You can play Legos.” She closed the door. It made a loud noise. One of the kids screamed for cake.
I looked at Daddy. “When am I gonna see Grandpa? I want to give this to him.”
“Brian, we’re not going to see Grandpa for a really long time.” He started to rub my back again.