We wear shoes for diffrent occations. We wear them for comfort or work. For style and special events. I guess this is a specail event. Today I wear black shoes. Black shoes matching a long black dress for this occation of tears. I chose platform heels, 6 inches tall, they have a closed toe. I waked a long trying to focus on the pain in my feet rather then the fain in my heart. I didn't want to remeber them like this.
The balck heels vlicked on the hard wood floor. My tears were falling in tune, makeing the sadest symphony only I could enjoy.
The last thing I wanted was someones sympathy. but thats exactly what it is- what I am doing. I am pretending I am still the same person. Pretending that, even though I do, I dont know.
I think of the mother of this chiild and wonder if she is doing the same thing. She has her family around her- supporting and sheltering her. I also wonder If I could be so Strong. If it were possible for me to be in that situation, couldd I hold my head up and say goodbye?
I keep my eyes on the flood and black shoes cloud my bison. So many the same color but diffrent personality. Some weep intensly and others are pollished to perfection.
At the grave sight the frass is moist and my heels easiily make tiny holes in my wake. They say the rayer and deticate the grave , but all I can focus on is shoes. Not a soul wore another color. Form that moment black shoes meant more to me then just accesorries. Those black shoes symbolized my love for the lost.
I will never forget the magic of those black shoes.