‘Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch’

Nate wasn’t even watching the news when his father first called him. Something terrible had happened and his wife was in it. Living or dead he did not really know. Without even bothering to know about the casualty or listening to his father he hung up and ran.

 And that was how he found himself at the edge of the city where the camp was set up. A plane had crashed and a lot of people had lost their lives. He did not bother with miniscule details; it made him sick. And anyway, he had only one reason and that was his wife.

The camp had an aura of morbidity and misery. He looked around and realized he did not fit in the scene, nobody present there fit in the scene.  The officer sat behind a large wood table and herds of people were asking him questions, shouting at him all at the same time.

Another officer tried to calm people down and the group soon formed itself into a line. Silently, he joined the line and waited for his turn. The worry and the thought of loss were heavy on his shoulders. All he wanted was his wife. He ran a hand through his hair, if only she had listened to him. If only she had waited for some time and delayed her trip. But no, stubborn as she was, she did go.

She had gone and now there was a fair chance that he might never see her. His whole future was a weak thread about to break.

“Sir, how can I help you?” a voice startled him. Suddenly, he was in front of the line, a gruff looking officer in front of him. The lady that was standing in front of him was now leaving whilst wailing loudly. He turned his gaze back to the officer.

“I….my wife, she is stuck there…I don’t know where she is,” he fumbled out; words seemed to fail him.

The officer nodded in understanding, “Alright, do you see that board over there?” the officer paused for his response. When he nodded, the officer continued, “The first list there; is of the people who have been found, the hospital that they have been admitted in is also mentioned.” He pointed towards the list.

“The second list is of the bodies that have been found. If your wife’s name is on any of the two, please strike it off,” Said the officer.

He felt numb, “What if her name is not on any of the lists?” he questioned. He had no idea how he could even question something like that.  But then he had no idea how he found himself in the situation in the first place.

The officer sighed, sometimes he hated his job, “Then, you come back here and report her missing. And we will call you as soon as we have any news. ”

Nate walked towards the board and dread filled him.  He first checked the second list, and let out a breath he did not know he was holding. His wife was not dead, she was alive. His eyes now went to the first list.

His wife’s name was not on it. That meant that she was still stuck there; that she was missing. This also meant that nobody know if she was alive or not. Defeated and dejected he went back to the officer and gave all the details that the officer asked.

For the next two days, he felt no comfort. He paced down the halls and barely ate. Office was obviously the last thing on his mind. Sometimes he would just stand in front the phone and urge it to ring. He thought of every outcome he could ever imagine and worried sick.  Nights would bring sheer agony and sometimes he would just give in and cry. But mostly he stayed silent cooped up in his house waiting for a signal from anyone that would lead him to his wife.

……………………………………………………………..

It was on the third day, when he got a call from one of the officers. They had found a woman in her early thirties and she matched Nate’s description perfectly. He rushed to the city hospital. The woman that was found was indeed his wife. A wave of relief and happiness came over him. He wanted to see her desperately but the nurse said that they should perhaps wait for the doctor.

The uncertainty in the nurse’s voice should have worried him but he was too relieved to notice. After days he had felt such tranquility. His wife was here and he was not about to let go.

He was walking towards his wife’s room when the doctor confronted him. His wife had severe brain damage and internal bleeding when she first came here, the doctor explained. She had gone through a brain surgery and recovered perfectly. Suddenly Nate could feel that there was something bad coming up.

“But?” He questioned.

The doctor let out a heavy sigh and continued, “Although the surgery went fine. Your wife lost her memory.” The doctor continued to give medical reasons for his wife’s condition but he hardly listened. He peeked into the room that was his wife’s. She laid on the bed, her physical injuries a bare minimum.

His wife was here in a perfect condition. Most importantly, she was alive. But the disaster had taken away her memory. She did not remember him; she did not remember any moments that they had spent together. She did not remember their fights over trivial things or that on Saturday nights they would sit and watch classic movies. He did not know how to do this anymore. She did not want a stranger in her life.

 He now realized that at the end of the day that is what he was, a mere stranger.