I sat quietly with tears rolling down my cheeks and my eyes were all pink as I sat alone in the church. I sat there with none of my family surrounding me at me at my mother's funeral. My mom was in an awful car accident the week before with me in the car. I was hurt only a little bit my mom had to be taken away in an ambulance to the hospital. The worst part was that I was in the ambulance when my mom's life was trying to be saved.



At the funeral there were many pictures of my mom which made it even sadder. Just looking at the pictures made me cry. I looked over to see my brother and my dad and they looked just as sad as I did. My dad tried not to act upset but I could tell he was. I remembered my mom's face lying in the light green hospital dress in the hospital bed. I
remembered my mom very well. “I love you Kelli” and those were the very last words that my mom said to me. Her face and those words repeated over and over again in my mind all through the funeral. When the funeral ended my dad comforted me which made me feel a little better.


The ride home was very long and quiet. My dad didn’t talk. By looking at his face he looked annoyed for some reason. I thought that maybe he was just upset. I sat still with absolutely no expressions. When we got home and I was getting out of the car my dad asked me what we were going to have for dinner. I had no idea what to say. I thought that it was his job to figure out what we were having for dinner. I was very frustrated. “Umm, I can see what I can do” I replied not really knowing what to do. I walked up the stairs to my room and sat down at my light blue bean bag. I glanced over at a picture of my mom and me at my Elementary Graduation. I was now in 8th grade and my mom wouldn’t be able to see me graduate. The tears rose in my eyes but didn’t come out. I reached down for my diary and began to write.



Dear Diary,

Today had to be the saddest day of my life. I sat teary eyed in the cold church at my mom’s funeral. I don’t know what I am going to do without a mom. She had always been there for me but now I don’t have her. Sure I have my dad and brother but it is not the same. Plus my dad wants me to make dinner. I was getting kind of frustrated. I didn’t want to be treated in the kind of way where I have to do everything. Hopefully my dad will change.

-Kelli





I slowly set down the diary and curled up in a ball on my beanbag. My dad walked in and asked if I needed anything. I replied no. “But dad” I began to say. “I don’t know if I am going to be able to make dinner” I said. “Okay Kelli, if you can’t it’s fine but you can still try” he said leaving my room and closing the door behind him. When he left I wished that I hadn’t told I didn’t think that I could make dinner. My dad looked very sad and knew that I had let him down.



The week that I didn’t go to school went by very quickly and I was still very sad. I didn’t think that the thought of my mom would ever go away.



Monday came and I got ready for school just as I usually did. I went down stairs and into the kitchen to see if breakfast was being cooked. It wasn’t. My mom usually cooked breakfast but now that wouldn’t happen anymore. I grabbed my crumpled brown lunch bag and walked outside to wait for the bus. When I got on the bus it was very quiet and everyone was staring at me. I sat next to my friend Amanda just as I usually did. I put my stuff down and Amanda spoke right away. “How was the funeral?” She asked. “I don’t want to talk about it” I sad in an angry tone of voice. And for the rest of the ride to school I didn’t talk to Amanda or even look at her. When the bus stopped at school I told Amanda that I was sorry and that maybe we could hang out this weekend to take my mind off my mom. She said sure and we walked into class. I saw everyone staring at me once again. Everyone was saying “I feel so bad for you” and “Sorry about your mom”. I took my seat and the teacher walked in. She was staring at me too. During class people were passing notes and saying sorry and they knew how I felt. That made me very upset because they really didn’t know how I felt and all that I had been through.



The day went by slowly but finally ended when my dad picked me up. “How was your day?” he asked, “Good I guess” I said back. And my dad seemed very happy. “We are going out to dinner tonight” he said. When he said that I was so excited. He seemed back to normal again which made me relieved. And from that day on my dad was happy just as he was before my mom died. We do still think of her time and time again but the thought just washed away and it was not always on my mind.