As I look around, to take a last glance at my basement room that I have lived in for 12 years,I suddenly feel lost and scared. I remember my first day here when I was only 8, how I was sitting on the mattress, looking around, feeling lost and somehow at peace without the noise of my parents arguing. Now that my last day is at hand, I suddenly feel lost and scared. For a sudden moment, I feel like I should stay. I feel like my plan is going to fail, and I should not even bother to regain my freedom that he took away from me. No, I can’t give up now, maybe when I was 8, he was kind, but all the other evil things he did, cannot be forgiven by small acts of kindness, that he used to do. My plan seemed simple, I am locked under a filthy garage, and from what I remember  12 years ago when he brought me down here that there are about five doors, before I reach the stairs leading up to the garage door.  There is a metal stick hanging from my window, that I have been loosening up for a month now so I can easily remove it to use it as a tool to break the  doors. I chose Sunday, for one reason. He is not home in the morning on Sundays, no matter what he did to me, ever since I have been here, sharp at 9:00 AM on Sunday he leaves and comes back at 12:31 PM, never a minute later or earlier. Later on I found out, he goes to church, as he says “to cleanse his soul”. One time I asked him, how he can cleanse his soul when he has none. What happened after, is something I will never forget.  I never back talked again. I look at the clock and its 8:59 AM, the minute the clock hits 9:00 AM, I hear the car engine turn on above my head, the garage door is opening, and he drives off for his weekly cleansing.
My plan needs to begin right away, I can’t waste another minute. I put my little clock in my pocket that I got just last year after begging him for two years, due to “lack of money” or more like lack of love and sympathy in my opinion. As I pull up my chair to the window, to take the metal piece of the small window, I use all my anger built up inside me and turn it into power. I grab the metal handle, and I twist it outwards loosening the screws even more. My first attempt failed, but I felt the screws loosen, as I heard the sound of the screws loosen up, I heard the sound of hope. I estimated that about after two more tries, the metal handle will be in my hand, ready to break me free from this prison. My estimation was right, after two more tries, the handle slowly unscrews from the window. As I hold my “key” in my hand, overwhelming joy hits me. I quickly glance at the clock, 9:20 AM, I am 5 minutes late with my plan.  As I have no time to waste, I stand as far away as I can from the door, and I give myself a few seconds of mental preparation. After three seconds, I run, I run as fast as I can, with the handle in front of me, ready to break free. My first attempt made a big dent in the relatively thin metal door. I repeated my steps, twice more. When I heard a loud boom, from the sudden noise I close my eyes. When I open my eyes, I see. The big dent, is now a hole. As I have been starved out for my “bad” behaviour, I have no problem fitting through the hole. As I am climbing out of the hole, this sudden wave of memories come back to me. I start remembering the first time I tried to run across him when he visited me. I remembered how he caught me, threw me on the ground and beat me till he started loudly sobbing. After he put his belt away he looked me in the eye, both of us crying and said “ I love you, and one day you will understand why I want you here, don’t wake the monster inside me again”. After saying that sentence he wiped his tears and left. He did not visit me for 71 hours, I was so thirsty I forced myself to drink the water in the toilet. As I remember this, I remind myself, that someone needs to hear my story. Someone needs to know about my monster.
I quickly take out the clock in my pocket to check the time, 9:35 AM. I wipe my tears, and realize where I am. Behind the door I just broke, there is a dark room, with stairs. As I walk up the stairs, I see another door. The door is not metal, but wood. I make an attempt to open it with the door handle. Its locked, of course. I panick for a second, when I suddenly remember. One time, on my birthday, he brought down a TV, and showed me an episode of “Friends”. That was the best day of my life, he never screamed or hit me. He just stared at me, like I was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. The one episode he showed me was when the tall, dark haired girl’s husband tried to unlock a door using.. Oh my god, I don't remember. “ Think, think harder” I tell myself as I stroke my long, blonde hair. As I touched my hair, I suddenly remember a bobby pin. Yes of course! He used a bobby pin! The first time I had noticed a change in my body, he yelled at me. He told me to loose all the weight I gained, so I don’t grow any breasts. To make me look even more like a young girl, he always demanded me to wear my hair pulled back, in a ponytail with no hair coming out. When my hair didn’t reach below my butt, it was easy to put it up with no hair coming out.  A few years ago, my hair grew below my butt, and it made it harder to put it up. That one night when my hair was messy, he suddenly entered the room, and freaked out. When he was done throwing his shoes at me, I quietly told him, I need a mirror and something else to secure my hair with. The next day, he came downstairs, gave me a pack of bobby pins and a filthy mirror. He barked at me “ Never ask for such expensive things again, you ungrateful dog, for a few days you won’t eat, you are too expensive for me to keep”. I never asked for anything else again. As I snap out of another bad flashback of this place, I take out a bobby pin from my hair, and get on my knees. “ Think, when he comes down to visit you, he puts the key in, and turns it left to lock it, and right to unlock it.” As I put my bobby pin in the keyhole, I wiggle it around thinking it will help my situation. As I hear something click inside the keyhole, I try  gently turning it around to the right. My attempt fails, the bobby pin just bends. I start to get frustrated. If I don’t escape now, he will see the big hole and he will, no I can’t even think about it.  I have to keep trying, I tell myself. As now for my second attempt I take out two bobby pins from my hair, I make sure I have three left in case this attempt fails. I put the two bobby pins in the keyhole, I hear the click again I turn it to the right, and I hear two more clicks. As the door opens in front of me, I want to scream of joy, and jump up and down. As I pass the second door, and step on the next room. I see no door, as I look to my right and left, I run into walls. I look up, and I see the exit. How does he get up there? He possible cannot be that tall. The handle must be here somewhere, with the little light the air- conditioner gives, I try to look around, and feel where the handle is. Suddenly I hit my foot into a metal thing, as I bend down to pick it up, I can feel it, its long with a hook at the end. As I stand below the exit, I hook the end on the door, and I use all my power to pull it down. As I pull down the exit, a staircase comes falling down. As I jump away, it hits my foot. I fall down, and I can feel my face getting warmer, as the tears are coming down my face. “ You can take the pain, you can do this. Its this one last door, and you are out, you have taken so much pain, from his belt, to his hands, this cannot keep you on the ground” . As I tell myself this, I stand up, ignoring the excruciating pain in my feet. I climb up the stairs, as I get to the last stair I feel my head bagging against another door. Metal door, I can handle this, I can handle breaking through this. I take the metal handle from the window, and start banging it against the door. “ This is the last door, I can feel it” As the joy overcomes me, I get stronger. Suddenly, I can see, the light coming from the garage. It worked, my plan worked, I am out.
As I step out, on to the garage, I am suddenly paralyzed with anger. All this time, I was hidden under this garage. All my screams from the times he climbed on top of me, without my will, were swallowed by the walls and doors, keeping me away from the real world. I want to go into his house, and wait for him. I want to see his face, and stab him till he bleeds. Then I remember, I am weak. I have not eaten in the last day, since my last panic attack from the last time he climbed on top of me. I remember, that I am the only thing he has, me running away is greater pain, than being stabbed to death.
As I look around in the garage for something to open the door with, I see pictures. I see pictures of me, from when I was a baby. I see pictures of my parents, my baby doll that he took away the first time I asked if I can leave. I see pictures of my first day of school , and of my father coming back on the same day.  My father looks sad, maybe that is the day he lost his job. Maybe that is why they were fighting.  He planned this, he watched me from when I was born, he wanted me. All this was planned to the very detail. I look at my watch hidden in my pocket, its 11:30 AM, i have one hour till he comes back. As I step closer to one of his desks, I can see the remote to the garage, and I can also see a notebook. As my curiosity takes over, I open the notebook, and I start to read. “ She is starting to resent me, I can feel it, but I just can’t resist, the way she resembles her mother. Makes me want her even more, every single night. If I have to I will keep her there forever, just so I can see her every day to remind myself of the beauty of her mother, the gentle touch she had the first time we were together.” As the questions I have wanted answered, for all these years, laid in front of me on a piece of paper, the puzzle in my head started to make sense. My mother found my father, left him and had me. As revenge he kidnapped me, and I looked like my mom, so I had to lose weight, and tie my hair back so he can control himself. He could not do it though, he still loves my mom. After all these years I knew, I knew why all this happened to me.
I look at the clock in my pocket, and I see that it is 12:10 PM, I press the button on the remote control. The garage door makes  a squeaking noise as it starts to slowly open. As the garage door is opening, I feel like door to my life is opening in front of me. I have to stop for a second, to take in all the light, and the overwhelming smells. I run out the frontyard, and it all seems so unrealistic. I am here, I can feel the concrete burning beneath my feet, I can hear kids playing tag in the neighbourhood. For a moment, I feel like I should stay. In a weird way I do love him, when his inner monster was not awake, he cared for me. He taught me how to read and write, at the end all he wanted was my beautiful mother from what I can remember. As I look back on the house for the last time, I realize it is time for me to leave. It is time for me to leave all the memories of the past behind. As my feet start to run, I can’t stop, I just run, I take in all the new scenery, the fresh air brushing against my cheek, the wonderful smells. I don’t know my next step, but I know I am never looking back again. I no longer feel lost or scared, since the voice in the back of my head is telling me everything will be fine from now on.