Stereotyping. We’ve all done it. We see someone walking down the street and we judge them. Preppy. Drop out. Rocker. Nerd. It’s subconscious. We don’t even realize we’re doing it, but we are. We convince ourselves we know someone, never having said a word to them, judging only by what they look like, what they are wearing, how they are carrying themselves. I know, and I bet deep down you know, too, that we’re probably wrong about them.

I have always been stereotyped. I’m shy, I don’t look like everyone else, and I tend to avoid conversations. Therefore, I’m scary, I’m dumb, no one wants to talk to me. Just because I have a tendency to wear black, put streaks in my hair, and pierced my ears a couple of times, obviously I hate the world, and I’ll probably beat you up if you try being friendly. Appearances, however, don’t determine personality. Appearances should not be the deciding factor. Appearances are only part of who you are. Appearance is your surface. Personality is your depth. That’s why I gave up on teenagers; they are all so judgmental. One person says something about you and it’s over. You become that weird, scary girl who sits in the back of class and doesn’t talk to anyone.

I started volunteering at the center for orphaned kids in my town when I was 14, and I fell in love with it. In my opinion, kids are the best people. Kids see only the good. As long as they are happy and having fun, they don’t care what you look like. They keep an open mind. They do not judge based on appearances.  The kids at the center became my real friends. I truly care about them, and every time they smile, I smile. One of the little girls once asked me why I volunteered. I told her it was for her. I wasn’t lying. I volunteer for each and every child and want to make them all happier. Everyone deserves happiness in life, and it is my goal to help someone get that.

On Saturdays I work at the animal clinic, helping with the dogs. Dogs are sort of like kids. They also try to find the good, and as long as you love them, they love you. What you look like doesn’t matter to dogs. Leroy, my border collie, is probably my best friend. I run with him nearly every day, and the fact that he doesn’t talk doesn’t have an effect on our friendship. He listens. He is one of the very few I feel truly comfortable around. He knows my true self and accepts me. The only other person I would consider a friend is Mrs. Jally. She is an elderly woman who lives in the apartment next to ours. She lost her husband a long time ago, and we have always looked out for each other. When I was a little kid she babysat me while my parents were at work, and as I got older, we never drifted apart. I kept going to her apartment just to talk to her. I have always felt like she is someone I can confide in. She knows all the problems I’ve had with kids at school, and she supports my choices and my style. She is Catholic and always tells me God is looking out for me. I wasn’t raised with religion. My parents are free-spirited environmentalists who encourage independence and making my own decisions.
One of my favorite times with Mrs. Jally was last year. I was 16. A girl in my class had told everyone I was the guitarist in a heavy metal band, which would have been pretty cool. I do play guitar, so it wasn’t that far-fetched.  However, she didn’t mean the kind of metal that people appreciate. I had stopped caring about what people thought of me at this point, but rumors still hurt. Mrs. Jally was there for me. I told her the whole story, and she comforted me. Within ten minutes we were laughing again. That’s just how Mrs. Jally is, she can bring joy to any situation. By the time I went home my cheeks hurt and my eyes weren’t watering from sadness anymore. The reassurance of Mrs. Jally and my parents has helped me remain strong.

Even when I was younger, I kept to myself. I never wore cute little bows in my hair, I’ve always hated dresses, pastel colors nauseate me, and I prefer wearing boots or sneakers, as opposed to sandals or flats. I just didn’t look like the other little girls, and the differences kept increasing as we aged. When all of them bought frilly tops and jean jackets, I got gray t-shirts and a leather jacket. They all put blonde highlights in their hair. I got blue and red streaks. I’ve always worn a lot of rings and have four piercings in one ear as well as two plus an industrial in the other. To some, I look abnormal or scary, but I just wear what I like. Why should I try to look like everyone else if that’s not my style?  Adding to all this is my shyness. I am uncomfortable starting conversations, and obviously no one is approaching me. Some could say I isolated myself, but if I made an effort to be like everyone else, I wouldn’t be me. Fitting in and being popular isn’t what’s important if you have to change yourself.

Despite the false impressions people created of me, I still took an example from dogs and kids. My core intent was to find the good in people. Everyone is on this earth for a reason and brings something unique. I believe that everyone has light inside, and that light should be spread. As long as you are spreading your light and bringing it into the world, the opinions of others do not matter. I had accepted the fact that people misjudge me. I was happy with myself, and that’s all that really mattered. I knew people’s opinions of me probably would not change, no matter how untrue they were. I was spreading light to people, and I was delighted about that. All I needed was Leroy, my parents, Mrs. Jally, and my music. Singing and writing music is another passion of mine. I started playing piano at a young age and also, as I said before, playing guitar. I love music because there are all different kinds. In the same way, there are all different kinds of people. Music symbolizes acceptance. There is a type of music for everyone. Everyone has different musical taste, like everyone has a different personality. People have similar tastes, but no one has exactly the same taste, just like no two people have exactly the same personality.  Music has no boundaries. It reminds me that I can do whatever I want with my life. I often play for the kids, in hope they will find the same comfort in music that I do.

That was my life. Volunteering, working with dogs, playing music, smiling, believing. I was happy. Obviously not everything was perfect, but I loved what was. I didn’t think my life needed to change. Then one day it did.
The day started out normally. I had gone to school, then headed to the center. I was laughing and playing music with the kids. They were smiling. I was smiling. We were having a great time. Then she walked through the door. A girl from my school. She was the “it” girl. You know the one. Pretty. Funny. Everyone knows her name. She was the one who had started the rumor. Apparently, she had taken a wrong turn and had come in to ask for directions. When she saw me, she didn’t hide her surprise. I don’t know what she thought I did in my free time. Wallow in my self-pity or maybe play guitar in a murderous metal band? But she definitely didn’t expect me to be playing music and volunteering with struggling children. She was so convinced of the version of me she had made up in her head, even though she’d never said two words to me. That’s what can happen when someone only looks at surface and then tries to create depths.

That experience had a forceful impact on me. It showed me just how far people take their false ideas. I don’t know how that day impacted her, if at all, but I hope it helped her to see the falseness of snap judgments. Maybe she’d even stop making them, or at least stop spreading lies. You may be able to see someone’s surface, but you cannot see their depths. Depths must be learned, not inferred.  My depths are not my surface. No one’s depths are their surface. This is my concept to spread.

It was that day I knew. I knew I could do more than make people smile. I could inspire them. I could inspire them with my story. Maybe God is looking out for me because it was that day my ambition developed, ambition to overcome my shyness and use my experiences to impact others. It was that day I understood my purpose. My purpose isn’t just to make people smile. It’s to make people smile at others. It is to decrease surface judgments. It doesn’t matter what you look like. It matters if you view yourself in a good way, view others in a good way. It matters if you view others as having depths, not only surface. It matters if you make people smile. It matters if you spread your light and look for the light in others.  My passion about stereotyping and misjudgment guides me. It guides me to show people that they are more, that others are more. This is my story. This is the story I will use to inspire.

My name is Leeya Arnesto.
I wear dark clothing.
I color my hair.
I enjoy experimenting with eye makeup.
I always wear jewelry.
I am a musician.
I am a dog lover.
I find comfort in music.
I am a volunteer.
I help others.
I love to make people smile.
I am ambitious.
I am confident.
I bring something to this world.
I am more than my appearance.
I am more.