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Daylight Epiphanies
I let my annoyance bubble down and fade away as I rolled the words over in my head, "We'll always." I didn't even listen to the rest of the sentence.That's when i realised that the thought of being lumped into a sentence in a word as impersonal as 'We' or 'They' was a disturbing thought to me. I didn't want to be like 'Them' or lumped into a group with other people at all. All i really wanted was to be different, to stick out like a lightning scar in a spring garden. I didn't exactly want to be beautiful either, I knew that there was no chance of me being known as beautiful, but, i wanted to be unique. As soon as i let go of all hopes of beauty, i got used to and eventually embraced the thought that this could be another universe for another version of that story. In this universe, i'm like the beast and maybe I won't find my love or beauty. But, this beast accepts that because the whole world wants love. Why should I chase a dream as common as the sky is blue? Most around me say they want to stick out, they want to be a flower in a field of thorns or a rainbow on a black drop-back. i realised that it's not so much a want as a reality for me. I'm different. I see it the more i accept it. They try to stick out, I just don't bother to blend in. I want credit for that. I want people to know that my mind doesn't work the same way that theirs does. There's so little control in life, I like having control over how unpredictable or predictable i am. I don't want to be a thing of beauty surrounded by darkness, like a diamond in coal, I want to be the thing of darkness that's surrounded by things of beauty, like a coal in diamond. In my heart i know i am, but, do they?
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