It started off a normal day, waking up at 6:40 not wanting to go to school, but being forced to anyway. I get ready wash my face brush my hair, then like usual leaving without eating breakfast. My step-sister, step-brother and I get to school around 7:15 every day so we sit in the parking lot until 7:24 so we don't have to socialize with anyone. I'm friends with everyone there isn't a soul in this school that I do not like. It's not normal for me to not want to talk with everyone, I'm known as the girl who talks to everyone and is not shy at all. That all changed about 2 months ago. My dad passed away. He was diagnosed with stage 4 skin cancer in May of last year, it was really hard seeing the man, who made who I am today, go through this. I think it was one of the hardest things we’ve ever been through. Things started changing in him and the way he lived life, I realized that. We started going to church a lot more, we spent more time together that made me happy, but I always feel like we should've spent more time with each other. Then again that's how everyone feels when they lose a loved one.

Anyways, one of my best friends who is now my step-sister, we are matchmakers. We are the ones who got our parents to go out. They both felt a bit iffy at first and her mom knew what was going on with my dad, she knew what the outcome could be, but he took it on anyways. I thank her so much for being so strong, No, she didn’t have to take in another kid, but she did anyways. The first time they met, my sister and i felt like this was it. They have a very bright future together. We all spent so much time together, we were finally a complete family. Then things started turning upside down, dad became really sick right around Christmas break. I just got back from Florida, i went with my basketball team, we had blast. The day after i left my dad had an appointment at the OSU James Cancer hospital, he told me that he would call me after and tell me what happened. I never received a phone call Monday night, so i thought everything was fine. Turns out i thought the wrong thing, because nothing was “fine”. His cancer spread throughout his whole body and there was nothing they could do besides keep him as comfortable as they could. In February, he was in the hospital for about a week and a half. My siblings and i needed to go to school that week, one day my step mom came to pick me up 10 minutes before school let out, i had a feeling that whole day that something was wrong and this just made it worse. So when she picked me up so many thoughts were going through my head at this point. I asked what was going on, she told me to wait till we get into the car, i did. She then told me that my dad was being sent home from the hospital on hospice. I remember this day as if it were yesterday because it sure feels like it. He came home the day after and we all knew that we weren't going to have much time with him. So we all just took it day by day and spent as much time together as possible. It was hard for us because we couldn’t be home with him all day. Around 3 weeks later he passed away.
The day was amazing, couldn’t have gotten any better. Then us kids headed home after school listening to our church music, what we do everyday. We got home and my step-brother came out into the living room and gave me a hug and told me he loved me,  I just received really bad vibes and knew something was wrong. Seconds after that i hear my step-mom sobbing so loud that the neighbors could have heard her. I then went to their bedroom and i felt an overwhelming sense of mixed emotions. I did not know what to do so i just left and went outside and just sat there, crying not knowing what to do with myself. Then everyone came outside and we all just sat there hugging each other. Today is May 9th, yesterday marked two months and I find myself sitting in class I get a sudden rush to start crying and feeling sad and empty. I don't want anyone to see me crying, so i bury my face into my sweatshirt. My friend asks me if i’m okay, i usually always say yes because i don't like people feeling sorry for me. But something was different, i got really mad when she asked that specific question. The one that's always so easy to answer, the one where there's always that one answer. I just got up and yelled, “I’m not okay, but i will be. So would everyone do me the biggest favor and quit asking me that question”. I mean if i’m crying clearly there is something wrong, so what's the point of asking you could just be say, “ If you need anything, i’m always here for you”. After i yelled I went to the bathroom to clear my mind to get away from everyone, i texted my step-mom and asked her if she could come get me, so about 30 minutes later she came to get me. We got home and just talked about how our days were, watched a movie, after that we just fell asleep in each others arms, i knew i had someone there to talk to me and felt the same way as me.