Being there was strange. It hurt. She had changed since then, but she always assumed that this place would stay the same. If she closed her eyes hard enough, she could almost make it the way it was, but it would never be perfect. Her mind was not the same, her feelings were not the same, and neither was the one place she could count on. It had grown without her, and that was the hardest thing of all.

A world of mermaids and fairies swarmed around the little girl as she opened her eyes. Her head seemed to be surrounded by a halo of pure happiness and her face lit up the moment she awoke. She had nothing to fear in a world that was filled with so many horrible things. Although she was quite young, the innocence that became her was starting to fade. Time was a silent enemy oblivious to her mind, which would soon be her adversary. She was only just starting to understand life and was commencing on a journey that may have taken a lifetime to complete. The world was her oyster, but only when she would allow it to be.
Although her mind may have been small and forgetful, the date was one she could never overlook. A birthday was so much more than presents and balloons, but she was not aware of it at this point in her life. She placed her small feet on the ground and ran outside her door. Dreams filled with candy and ribbon could not touch the excitement she felt in the moment. Neatly wrapped presents lined up together against the wall, taunting her. The unknown objects in the boxes aroused feelings of nervousness and excitement. Her mind and body were only able to take so many emotions at one time. She slowly gravitated towards the pile that appeared to be ten feet tall, but was surprised by her family behind her before she could reach it. They wrapped her in a warm embrace and kissed her on the cheeks with big grins on their faces. The girl was loved deeply and she was safe in their arms. She ran to the pile and started to rip off the one layer of paper that was protecting her from each surprise. Laughter and shrieks filled the air as dreams became a reality and the girl enjoyed her day full of love. She had everything in the world, but still understood so little about it.
The day went on and the rush of excitement continued. Streamers that previously hung from the walls were starting to fall and newly opened toys were scattered everywhere. The bright colors of the wrapping paper had seemed to fade and the room had already become a memory. She stood silently in all the havoc of the world and her smile was the sun. Her eyelids became heavier and heavier, and her excitement began to wear out. As she slowly lowered herself onto the chair, her mother beckoned her to come to the kitchen for one last surprise. The girl gave another smile as she got up and entered the kitchen. There, between the leftover wrapping paper and fallen balloons was a beautiful, homemade chocolate cake. A fire lit in the reflection of her eyes as she stared at it with admiration. Placed gently in the thick icing were ten candles and pink icing decorated the sides of the it. The cake beckoned her and was her last sweet memory on such a beautiful day. As she gazed down at the sweet structure, her mother gently stroked her hair and whispered softly in her ear “Say goodbye to 9”. The little girl held onto those words as she let out a gust of air. As she blew out each candle, a piece of herself was being left behind: One, two, three… ten.
A jolt caused the girl to gasp and open her eyes. She was still in her bed, but was now surrounded by sweat. It was a dream, a horrid dream, that had done this to her. She panicked as she looked around her room to see what was missing, but was unable to find what was not there; her childhood. Tears filled her eyes in memory of the world that would never exist again. Fear and hurt over the past was now her enemy. The little girl that she once was no longer existed, but was forever a piece of the girl now. As tears stained her face, the girl frantically dug around in the drawer right next to her and sighed when she found it. It was the candle she had blew out at her tenth birthday party and now meant more to her than it ever did. The past was her history, and the present was her gift. A beautiful childhood had turned into nothing more than an everlasting memory and a distant dream.