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Hanging On the Edge.
I flinch as he goes running through the house and into his room. Trying to make them go away. I sigh. He knows better than to do the things he does and yet he does them anyway. Can?t he see that she?s already at the edge? That she?s clinging onto that ledge with only one hand and it?s like he?s stomping and stomping on it. She follows and screams at him.
I?m going to get it know. I just know I am.
There?s crashing as he throws something in anger. I stand in the living room and do my chores. Hoping they won?t notice me. Desperate, he storms out of his room, right past me, and out the front door. She?s on his heels like a shadow.
Crap. He?s gone. Now I?m really going to get it. I?m the only one left for her to filter her anger out on.
She stands at the door and looks out into the darkness. I try to keep my eyes averted but they keep wandering back to that still figure. Finally, she turns and looks at me. The anger in her eyes made me freeze and suck in my breath.
It was my turn now.
She stalked towards me and I went back to work. Hoping she would just leave me alone. She didn?t. I stood there and took it all with a calm face. How I did this I will never know. She cursed my existence. Saying that she wished I was never born. Told me of every wrong I had done in my life. She hit me once on the back of my head. I guess to make sure I was paying attention. It didn?t hurt at all physically but the blow seemed as if someone had stabbed me right through my heart.
That night I sat in my room. I wanted to cry but I wouldn?t let myself. I was too proud of a person for that. Besides, if she had seen me it probably would make her happy. I just sit and think for the longest time. I think. If other kids out there in the world have this same problem. Are they hanging on the edge just like me? Just like her? And.
Does their mother not love them either?