David, I wanteth to preface this by saying, thee wast loved, thee at each moment wilt beest loved, and thee wilt beest missed. I hadst desired that, after Joan, I would nev'r has't to giveth another one of these again, but tragedy doth not obey our wilt. David, at each moment the poet, loved writing and speaking in Shakespeare's language, fusty English, so as a final tribute to that gent, this speech wilt beest given in that tongue. No matter how much we tryeth and how much we beg, we can’t cease those we love from dying and we can’t bringeth those folk back either. David tooketh his own life after feeling hath lost and alone. I should has't seen this coming.   David wast the ideal grandchild, at each moment visiting me at which hour I hath felt depress'd and alone. While I wast busy wallowing in mine own sadness, David wast facing pain and torment I’m sure none of us could imagine. Bullying, pressure, a divorce, and the death of his grandmother, mine Joan, wast just some of the things David hadst to deal with alone. Alone. That knave wast a issue, not coequal 15 years fusty yet. And that knave wast alone.
I’m ashamed in myself, I should’ve seen this coming. At which hour his visits ceased, I should’ve gone out of mine fore God, well spoken see that knave. That knave wast one of the few remaining lights in mine life and I alloweth that gent drift hence. I should’ve been thither for that gent as that gent wast for me, at the very least I should’ve emailed that gent or something. Just to maketh sure that knave wast tis fine. I hath killed David. But it wasn’t a one sir job. Joan hath killed David. David’s parents hath killed that gent. David’s siblings hath killed that gent. David’s friends hath killed that gent. David’s teachers hath killed that issue. Everybody that hath spent a decent amount of time with that gent tooketh part in killing that issue. No exceptions. I’m guilty. You’re guilty. We all has't David’s blood on our hands.
But we can maketh it better. As a family, we can maketh it better by making sure that this doesn’t befall to anyone or any family again. I’m personally donating half of mine personal wealth to the school district, in which David wast a inhorn man to fund a suicide prevention course that is mandatory for all students. I wanteth all students to beest aware of the signs of a suicidal person, as well as to beest able to recognize these signs within themselves. I encourage every single one of thee to contribute in some way in or another to the fund I’m setting up to fund the class. The fund is called For David, and not only wilt it fund this course, but t'will eke putteth wage towards advertising of the suicide prevention hotline, to ensure that people in a state like David knoweth that those gents can receiveth holp. Something that gent didn’t knoweth that knave could doth. Within this wall of flesh, there is a soul that counts thee its creditor for listening for me and all of mine ramblings, but ere I finish talking I would like us to all close our eyes for a second and feeleth David around us. David from everyone hither, as well as those that couldn’t maketh t, we love thee, wilt nev'r cease loving thee, and we wilt at each moment recall thee. Farewell David, I’ll see thee soon.

Normal English Translation:
David, I want to preface this by saying, you were loved, you always will be loved, and you will be missed. I had hoped that, after Joan, I would never have to give another one of these again, but tragedy does not obey our will. David, always the poet, loved writing and speaking in Shakespeare's language, old English, so as a final tribute to him, this speech will be given in that tongue. No matter how much we try and how much we beg, we can’t stop those we love from dying and we can’t bring them back either. David took his own life after feeling lost and alone. David was the ideal grandchild, always visiting me when I felt sad and alone. While I was busy wallowing in my own sadness, David was facing pain and torment I’m sure none of us could imagine. Bullying, pressure, a divorce, and the death of his grandmother, my Joan, were just some of the things David had to deal with alone. Alone. He was a child, not even 15 years old yet. And he was alone.
I’m ashamed in myself, I should’ve seen this coming. When his visits stopped, I should’ve gone out of my way to go see him. He was one of the few remaining lights in my life and I let him drift away. I should’ve    been there for him as he was for me, at the very least I should’ve emailed him or something. Just to make sure he was ok. I killed David. But it wasn’t a one man job. Joan killed David. David’s parents killed him. David’s siblings killed him. David’s friends killed him. David’s teachers killed him. Everybody that spent a decent amount of time with him took part in killing him. No exceptions. I’m guilty. You’re guilty. We all have David’s blood on our hands.
But we can make it better. As a family, we can make it better by making sure that this doesn’t happen to anyone or any family again. I’m personally donating half of my personal wealth to the school district, in which David was a student to fund a suicide prevention course that is mandatory for all students. I want all students to be aware of the signs of a suicidal person, as well as to be able to recognize these signs within themselves. I encourage every single one of you to contribute in some way in or another to the fund I’m setting up to fund the class. The fund is called For David, and not only will it fund this course, but it will also put money towards advertising of the suicide prevention hotline, to ensure that people in a state like David know that they can get help. Something he didn’t know he could do. Thank you for listening to me and all of my ramblings, but before I finish talking I would like us to all close our eyes for a second and feel David around us. David from everyone here, as well as those that couldn’t make it, we love you, will never stop loving you, and we will always remember you. Goodbye David, I’ll see you soon.