The foundation covers the bags, the Abercrombie sweatshirt covers the bruises, the ponytail pulled up on the back of my head hides the bald patches, the pink lip gloss covers the quivering lips, the flip flops are the best for people with shaky legs like me. People will look at me and say what diet are you using? And all I’ll do is just smile and smooth over my shirt and say thank you but I don’t give away that kind of information. I look in the mirror at a girl, who is, just almost, me. Do I really want to be this girl trying to hide all of the bumps and bruises of life? Do I just want to cover it up and pretend it has never happened? Or do I just want it to be all over with like that? All so close, but yet so far at the same time.

I hear a car horn outside- it’s her, I don’t know anyone else who would honk their horns that enthusiastically at seven thirty in the morning. Quickly I smooth on another layer of mascara to cover up the tears and slowly walk down the steps.

“Have a good day honey.” Mom meets me at the stairs with a brown paper bag in her hand and a big kiss aimed at my forehead. “I promise, it will help.”
“Mom, seriously, you don’t have to make me lunch every morning. I’m 18; you have better things to do.” She smiled. It’s quiet for a couple seconds before I leave the house to go to the driveway.

I can hear her music from the steps and it already stings my ear drums. The air is cold and the rain dripping from the sky tickles my face. Carefully I pull open the passenger seat to her green buggy and step inside. Pop music is blaring from the radio and the scent of bubblegum wafts in the air.

“Did you get any sleep last night?” she asks me. All I do to answer was shook my head no.

“I can tell. Here, try this.” She goes into her bag and pulls out a compact mirror and some tan powder with a small brush. I nod as I begin to brush on the powder. It does cover up the bags better, it makes my face look brighter, and it lifts my eyes. “Better,” she says as she takes the mirror and powder from my hand just to drop it back into her bag which I was more than capable of doing.

Students stand huddled in the parking looking past all of my covers. It stings as their eyes just sit glued to my face. Kate tries to rush me through the halls without any longer than three second conversations, that’s she said wasn’t good was more than three second conversations because too much could be said and too much could be retained. My locker seemed almost cold when I pulled up my sleeve and touched the lock. It seemed like a vacant place I would laugh with my friends while reaching in for the binders in books, now just a fuzzy memory.

She stands behind me blocking views from behind of my mysterious reappearance. Honestly, I didn’t give a damn if anyone asked me questions, all I would do is yawn and say how tired I was. But she said there was more to it than just yawning. Slowly I grabbed the books I needed having to check my planer a couple of times to make sure I had everything then at the same rate walked to the end of the hall for biology. Dr. Montgomery stood at the doorway like she always did waiting for her students to enter her class. The second she saw me though, she looked away. She looked in the opposite direction and waited to say a word until I was right in front of her.

“Well it’s nice to be seeing you again, January,” she said sweetly. Almost too sweetly that it sent a sickening feeling to my stomach.

“Nice to see you again Dr. M,” I responded politely.

“I have a folder with work that you missed out on my desk, you can grab and begin to flip through it all.” She smiled as I went inside the room.

Things seemed out of order compared to when I left it, students were now jumping around the room chasing each other and some where dancing to some kid’s cell phone in the corner. Another idiot was standing on top of his desk shaking his butt and another group was playing paper football. Kate sat down next to me totally nonchalant about what was happening beside her- I realized just then that two weeks is a millennium.

Class went by just as hoped, no one noticed really that I was back, no one seemed to compliment on my brand new sweatshirt, not that I cared, but still one comment of compliment would have been nice. English went by just the same followed by social studies and calculus. Lunch finally floated through the air when Kate and I returned to our lockers to grab my brown bag and her lunch money. We walked in the halls silently not really saying a word to each other, I don’t think we could’ve.

The lunchroom seemed just how I left it, kids running around, waiting online for lunch, and kids at tables munching on snacks and sandwiches. She lead me to the back of the cafeteria where nobody sat and put down her lunch.

“Sorry, did you want to sit where we usually sat? I was just thinking that maybe it was time to change it up.” I nodded that it was okay and reached inside for the sloppy PB&J my mother made me. I looked up to see, I think I saw, blue eyes and a letterman jacket.