“You make me so much happier than she does.” He said when I asked him why he was driving around with me at two in the morning when he should have been with Emily. They had been together since freshman year, so I often wondered why he would choose to be with me on so many late summer nights. Every time we saw each other I asked him what she thought he was doing, and it was always some lie like he was at his grandma's or out with friends. Knowing he had to lie to be with me filled my stomach with guilt, but I would have done anything for more nights with him.

The feeling I got when I was with him compared to no other. Time stopped when he looked at me and I started to feel my heartbeat get faster and faster. All of this made the fact that we had to sneak around our small town to be together worth it. 

“Where do you want to go tonight?” He asked like he did every time, even though he knew what I was going to say.

“Anywhere with you will make me happy,” I responded. We spent the whole summer finding places to go that late in the night, but it never mattered where we were to me, only that we were together. The end of summer was approaching, though, and I had to know what it would be like for us after this. “Are we going to keep doing this when school starts?” I ask.

“Of course. I wouldn’t give up these nights for anything.” He answers. The rest of the night we drove around town and talked until we decided to go home. 

When school started I sat around waiting to hear the sound of his ringtone, but I just assumed he was busy with work. As many days turned into a month, I didn’t want to wait anymore. I called a few times, none of which received a response. I started to worry about him. I hadn’t seen him around in ages. He was one of the closest people in my life and now he wasn’t responding. After two months passed and I could not get him off my mind, I had to see him.

I pulled up to his house and knocked on the door, not sure what to expect. The door opened and the first thing I saw was a look of distraught on his face. He starts to frantically look around while almost shouting “What are you doing here?” I was frozen. I didn’t understand why he was so angry that I came to see him.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” I quietly responded.

“Why wouldn't I be? Why do you even care?” 

I couldn't respond. I had no idea what to say.

“Can you just go? I don't want to see you anymore. Just leave the past in the past.” He finally says. 

I ran to my car and drove away as fast as I could. I never wanted to see his face again. I would have done anything to erase his memory from my mind. How could he say those things? After all the nights we spent, all the moments we shared, all the talks we had. Had it meant nothing at all to him? Thinking about how he said he would call and how everything would be the same brought tears to my eyes. How could he lie that easily to my face? The person I thought I could trust with my life so suddenly turned into someone I never wanted to remember.

Thinking about it now I realize that I do want to see his face again. But not the face I saw that day on his doorstep. The face that was there for me when I had nowhere else to go. The face that helped me when I was at my worst. I try to remember that version of him looking back at the memories, but still, I wish we could have what we did that summer now. I should have known not to get involved with someone like him, but I didn’t realize that until it was too late.