I dropped the note, my mouth wide open. I couldn’t move, not one step. Once my legs thawed, I ran upstairs, threw on the first clothes I could find, shoved my contacts into my eyes, and pulled my hair up. I rushed out the front door, and ran right into your house.
“Mrs. James!” I called out.
“Remi? Is that you?” She said from the top of the stairs.
I took the stairs two at a time and ran into her at the top. “Yes it’s me! My mom said you were going to take me to the hospital once I woke up, because Jesse’s there?”
“Oh, yes,” she frowned, “well, let’s go, then.”
“Okay, let’s hurry.”
We rushed out of the house, and into the car, hurrying to meet you in room #346. Mrs. James weaved in and out through the traffic, and pulled up in the parking lot. We ran to the hospital doors, pushed hard, and walked into the sick smelling air. I marched to the receptionist desk and asked for room #346, the lady said it was on floor 3 at the right.
The elevator took forever, it felt like, but we finally got there. The doors opened and I practically ran through the hallway, bumping into nurses as I went, your mom following close behind me.
340, 341, 342, 343, 344, 345, and then finally, 346. I took a deep breath, and paused outside the doorway. I imagined what you and I would say in front of all our family. How would we act, when you were in the hospital, hurt? I closed my eyes and thought it through for what felt like hours, but your mom never rushed me, so I guess it was only a few seconds.
When I finally knew what I would say to you, I pushed the door open, and walked inside the white hospital room. Mom, Adrian, and your dad were sitting in chairs around your bed, crying.

I stopped, and looked around. Mom looked up at me and whispered, “It’s too late.” I drop my purse, not believing what I just heard. No, I couldn’t be too late. No, not when we finally had something the very night before. It wasn’t possible. No.

I walked slowly over to your hospital bed, and I cried for what seemed like hours and hours. Right then, my heart broke into a million pieces and scattered all over the floor. I struggled to breath correctly, and I had to sit down so I wouldn’t fall over. Adrian hugged me while I cried in his arms, looking down at your lifeless body.


Eventually, Mom, Mr. and Mrs. James went down to the cafeteria for some lunch. Adrian was still holding me, and I was still crying.

“Remi, there was something he told me to tell you, right before he died,” Adrian said gently.

I just looked up expectantly. I couldn’t speak, it all came out as blubbering, because my tears would never stop.

Adrian looked down at me, making sure I knew he wasn’t making anything up, and said, “He wanted me to tell you that he’s sorry for leaving so soon, and he loves you more than anyone, more than he’s loved anybody else ever before, and he’ll continue to love you, wherever he is.”

I smiled through my tears at Adrian and whispered, “Thank you. Thank you for telling me that. Dear God, thank you,” and then I looked up in the sky, where I expected you to be, and said, “I love you, too.”