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Forever and Always
We're stuck in traffic again. You're sat beside me, in the car. I'm driving. You're humming to the music. Kings of Leon - Use Somebody. Our song. I look at you and smile and smile right back. The traffic starts to move so I turn my attention back to the road. "I hope it's gonna make you notice" I laugh at this and so do you. You act out playing the song on guitar, and you're singing so loud, I can't help but join in. I come to the realisation that I don't actually want the traffic to move.
I want to spend hours here, with you. One hand one the wheel, the other hand on the gear stick, I fall back into my chair with a sigh. You put your hand on the gear stick too, so it's laying softly on top of mine. I've always loved the way you know what I'm thinking without me having to utter a word.
I pull into our spot. the cliff looks beautiful. Albeit this tears prick, threatening me. I will not cry. I will not cry. I repeat it like a mantra.
But the pain does not subside. You're gone now. No, you didn't leave me for something better. No, you weren't cheating on me. You're gone because you sacrificed your life for me.
You're gone so I can stay.
But you should've known I'd never want to stay anywhere where you aren't nearby. The tears are streaming down my face now but I don't care.
I step out of the car and slam the door. "It's time to leave this behind. It's time I joined you again" I think to myself. I hope you're listening, hope you're watching.
I step near the cliff edge and wait. I close my eyes and ask myself if I want to do this. But I knew the answer before the question was asked.
And with that, I step forward...we'll be together again. I promise, baby.
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"i CaNt Be AwAy fRoM hEr BeLlA, iT hUrTs ToO mUcH." (Jacob from the breaking dawn book)