Hot tears rolled down my face as I pushed my way through the crowd of people around him. I shoved through the police, and skidded down to a halt next to his cold body. He looked so helpless, with his eyes closed and with blood spread out around him. I ran my hands over his face, hoping to wake him, but I couldn’t even feel the spark of life inside him. I couldn’t believe it. My brain just couldn’t wrap around the idea that he was gone…forever.

Sirens blasted through the streets and car doors were slammed shut. I could hear peoples’ feet slap against the pavement, rushing to help him, but that’s not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear his sweet voice again, hear his musical laugh, and his perfect singing voice. Most of all, I wanted to hear his heartbeat, telling me that he was still alive and safe.

I shook my head as tears splashed out around me. My hands were now covered in scarlet red blood, and the voices around me were now just a faint buzz. I couldn’t stop screaming out his name. I knew it wouldn’t help, but I couldn’t stop my voice which now had turned husky. It just couldn’t be true, this had to be a dream. But I knew, deep down that this was really happening.

The sirens had faded, and time seemed to slow as someone tried to do CPR on him again. I hoped that his gorgeous eyes would flutter open, and he would be okay, but just the opposite happened. His body fell lifelessly back to the hard ground and his head nodded to the side. I took his cold hand in mine, and held onto it like it was the only thing holding me to this earth, like that I knew somehow that he was still in there. That he wasn’t ready to leave this earth just yet.

“No…” I shouted, but my voice was only just a whisper. The voices around me had swelled, telling me to get away from him, but I just couldn’t. I leaned down and rested my head on his chest, wondering if I could hear the faint beat of his heart again. Nothing. The salty-tears that rolled down my face blurred my sight, but not my memory of his face. Visions flashed in my head, making me remember the days when he was happy. When he would embrace me in hugs, when he would pick me up and spin me around, and when he would tell me that he loved me.

It was like these memories were mocking me, telling me that I would never feel happiness or love again. I tried to push them out of my mind, but the constant voices around me kept making them stronger. Tears were now pouring out of my eyes, and streaming down my face onto his body beneath me. I couldn’t help but think that he was dead, and that he was never coming back.

My eyes slowly closed as my grip tightened around his hand, hoping, wishing that the soft heartbeat would start up again in his chest, that he would rise up and coil his arms around me like he did many times before. I squeezed my eyes closed again, and let out short gasps of sobs into his cold body with my ear still pressed up to his chest, still listening for the beating of his heart.







Bump, bump. Bump, bump.